Quote

If I’d observed all the rules, I’d never have got anywhere. 

~Marilyn Monroe

Diamonds are nothing more than chunks of coal that stuck to their jobs.

~Malcolm Forbes

The fearful are caught as often as the bold. 
~Helen Keller

Your flaws, no matter how hard you work to improve them, will never be as good as your strengths. 
~Amanda Linehan

My favorite fruit is grapes. Because with grapes, you always get another chance. Cause, you know, if you have a crappy apple or a peach, you're stuck with that crappy piece of fruit. But if you have a crappy grape, no problem - just move on to the next. Grapes: The Fruit of Hope.
~Demetri Martin

When you're stuck, and sure you've written absolutely garbage, force yourself to finish and then decide to fix or scrap it - or you will never know if you can.
~Jodi Picoult

I know several amazing people that move forward. Most of the time I don't even know about it. They just do it. They don't talk about it much. They just do it. Move forward. Seems easy as I am writing this out. It isn't. I find this to be a strength and I strive to move forward.

Everything around us moves forward. Winter leaves. Spring comes. The sun shines. The mind thinks; yes it does! Even when you think it thoughtless.

Go get yourself daffodils. I am drinking in their promise. Albeit it slowly.

Talk Like Sir Paul

I love Downton Abbey. And, after every episode I find myself trying to sit like Lady Mary and speak like Lady Mary. Yeah. Lady Mary. I'm a bit obsessed.

And longing to work a bit of British-speak into my life.

Arse - I have loved this word for years. Sounds so much better than, "Move your ass you f-ing dumbass." This is usually said while I'm driving.

Bum or Bottom - What do we think? Would we rather have, "I have a big ass"?

Knickers - the perfect replacement for that word, panties (shudder).

Bloody - well, this one is self-evident. It's perfect. "Bloody hell. Bloody marvelous. Bloody awful. Bloody brilliant."

Brilliant - this one as well. It's brilliant!

Tidy - what do we have? Neat? Neato Frito? "He's so neat." Unless he's really special I'd rather know he's tidy.  :)

Twit - love this one. Much better than idiot. And doesn't sound as mean. Maybe? Ha!

Suss - figure something out. I love to suss around. Do you?

Blow Me! - I guess I won't be using this one. Simply means, "I'm surprised!" Heh!

Cheeky - I love to be cheeky. Doesn't have anything to do with my big arse. 

Fancy - desire something. I fancy you. I fancy some tater tots. What? No tater tots in England?

I'm Easy - hmm . . . we better not use this one. Actually means, "I don't care." This wouldn't be good to say if someone fancies you.

Posh - I do fancy that posh pocketbook.

Pocketbook - handbag

Puff - such a good word for flatulence! Although in my house it's "toot". As in, "Pup? Did you toot?"

Hoover - Vacuum the rug. "I'm hoovering today. Pick up your room."

Rubbish - This one really appeals to me. Much better than garbage. "It's Friday! Is the rubbish all in the bin for pickup?" 

It's at the weekend hooches! So pull up your knickers, be cheeky, and suss something out.

Sweet Treat for Your Sweetie

Valentines Day

Has there ever been a day more fraught with high expectations and occasional disappointment? I say every year that I feel sorry for men just a bit, yet when given this sweet little bouquet from my Pup yesterday, I pouted for a minute.

Mostly because it looked like something you'd give your kid's teacher. And I kinda hate smiley face stuff.

Pup is the sweetest man ever, but he hasn't a romantic bone in his body. And that's okay. He has millions of things that I love about him and a smiley face mug of yellow roses and daisies isn't going to make me pout for very long. In his defense, he knows I love daisies and coffee.

Marriage, yes? I'm done pouting and am rather sheepish today. I am a beast!

But since it was Valentines Day I wanted to make a dessert that my Pup loves more than any other. He loves pumpkin pie!

I try (emphasis on the "try") to eat less sugar and found this recipe originally on Linda's Low Carb Menus & Recipes waaaaaay back in the beginning of my eating less sugar and carb days. I mean way back. 2002 if I think about it. I have made a few tweaks here and there, but here is the recipe.

Crustless Pumpkin Pie
15 oz can pumpkin
1/2 cup granular Stevia
1/4 cup caramel or vanilla sugar free syrup *Erythritol could be subbed*
3/4 cup heavy cream
1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp ginger
1/4 tsp cloves

Mix all ingredients in a bowl and beat until thoroughly mixed. Pour into a buttered 9-inch pie plate. Bake at 350° 50-60 minutes until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean. Cool, then chill before serving. Serve with whipped cream, if desired.

8 servings  *yeah, right*

Per serving: 120 calories; 10g fat; 3g protein; 7g carbohydrate; 2g fiber

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pup and I went to the movies, stopped at Super America (gas station/convenience store) for his Cool Whip (they were out - yay!), and had a piece of pie with real whipped cream.

It's quite delicious and I have a couple of recipes for a grain-free crust I am thinking about trying with it. Pup's favorite way to have this is sans crust and frankly, you don't miss it.

*all photos courtesy of my lovely phone - so classy

Get Your Love On

Apologies!

Courtesy of Too Legit to Quit

What Foods Are Primal/Paleo?

White fish via the Dominican Republic. Not popcorn. I wouldn't mind sneaking this into a theatre though.

I frequent Paleo Hacks and Mark's Daily Apple  for a lot of my help with eating the Primal and Paleo way.

I do a combo of these two philosophies; a mash up.

For example:

• I use heavy cream in my morning coffee - many Primeos (like that? - no?) eschew dairy altogether. I kinda live for my morning coffee so this wasn't going to happen. Nope.
• I love Mark Sisson's 80/20 rule. Which basically means, "Hey, you're a human being and you're going to want a glass of whiskey from time to time. With a splash of ginger ale." How can Mark see me? He's a super-hero, that's how.
• Not all of my meat is from a grass-fed source. Some of it. Not all of it.
• I haven't entirely made the switch up to organic either. I'm picking my battles.

And movie popcorn is an indulgence I am loath to give up. 

Here's what Mark says:

Popcorn is not Primal, but it’s not the worst snack you can have. If you’re buying at a movie theater, make sure they pop it in coconut oil and add real butter (not butter-flavored soy oil). If you’re doing it at home, use a good pot with ghee or coconut oil. And stay away from microwaved popcorn at all costs.

I love going to the movies. I love getting a small popcorn and eating it during the previews. Having to leave that all behind to be Primeo would break my heart. I'm putting this in my 20 column and calling it a day. 

I have found a chi chi movie theatre that uses everything good and that's where I'll be watching.

BTW - has anyone seen Silver Linings Playbook? I want to own this movie it was that good. I went right home and bought a lot of the music from the soundtrack as well.

Check out this link for an at-a-glance reference of basic Primeo foods: Basic Food List

Get your Grok on!

today

I am . . .

• listening more, talking less
• making check marks on my list - you know the list - the LIST!
• laughing more
• flushing dead mice (omg - or, as an FB friend said, better dead than alive)
• drinking lemon water
• trying something different with hair - still wondering about this - messy does appeal to me

• thinking constantly about a friend that is in the middle of troubles
• because of her troubles I am able to see any troubles I thought I had in a new light
• I have no troubles
• looking at gardening ideas - I know! Who am I?
• I had Grammy fever - love love love watching all of it - red carpet love
• scratch the above bullet - Grammys were not that good
• learned how to remove a fake tattoo - which was easier once I looked at my favorite book, the internet
• learned I can thrift shop and resist many of my obsessions, I left a few wooden bowls, clusters of glass fruit, and gray sweaters behind
• although a gray dress, piece of handmade pottery, and a painting came home with me - some things I cannot resist

We got a bit of snow yesterday - it was a lovely afternoon watching it swirling about.

The Kickoff

It's Super Bowl Sunday!

I'm kinda excited about seeing Beyonce sing at halftime today. I shouldn't admit that. She is fascinating!

We opted to not have anyone over (just a couple of friends) for the game. Pup is busy with work this time of year and has to hunker down in his office most of the day although he would have been a willing participant.

We had company last weekend and I'm still recovering because I'm . . . I'm . . . oh hell I'll say it. I'm in a down place at the moment.

No damn reason for it. Except I live in Minnesota and it is dark for a good portion of the day and it's been gloomy for days and I might veer towards down times here and there. More here than there at the moment.

I am climbing out from this down place.

My friend Alli McBeal reminded me I have a tanning bed and to get my ass in there for a recharge. She's right! It helps beat the blues since I can't live in Mexico for the entire winter season. Although I swear I will someday. Love you Mexico.

FitFluential plan for the day is a little work, a little working out, some game and commercial watching, and a little cooking.

Here comes the sun.

Turn Up the Heat

February 1

I don't think of myself as much of a bitcher. I know that's not entirely true because who doesn't complain now and again? This month brings all things bad right out of me. I'm not a fan. The best thing I ever can say about this month is it is short. Gah. All of us will live through it. We will! Even though as I sit here writing the thermometer says it is 12 below. 12 BELOW! That is some cold shit hooches.

I found this lone shot of the swim up bar from our Dominican Republic hotel.

It made me break out the flannel I have to say. I don't know where I got it, but I own the tops only of a pair of flannel pajamas. No bottoms. If I thought hard about it I bet I could remember. I'm not going to exert myself on that just yet.

I sleep like a cat when it's this cold. To that I have to say yay!

It feels good to snuggle deep in your bed with heavy blankets on top. And cool sheets to move my legs to when I get hot. I sleep so hot. In fact, when Pup and I were fighting our dual sicknesses at the beginning of January, one morning he thought me seriously sick when my skin was cold. He said he actually put his head on my back to make certain I was breathing.

I not only sleep hot, but, for some magical biological reason, I throw off more heat than most others. I don't know why. It's weird and I do keep all the mosquitos busy so they leave everyone else alone.

This just reminded me of a story.

I was standing, waiting for a bus at a park-and-ride. It was a steamy, sticky, summer morning - probably around 7:00 a.m.

I approach the line of people. The guy in front of me greets me and then says.

"Hey, you have a bunch of gnats surrounding your head."

I say, "I do?" and begin swatting them away.

"Yeah!" he says, "They're all over!" He gets a look on his face and I feel I need to explain. A particularly annoying trait of mine - over explaining.

"Oh no!" I say. And keep swatting.

He is really looking at me now. It isn't good.

"It must be because I'm so hot." I explain.

"Oh yeah, that's it," he snorts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yup, yup, and yup.

If you like that, I'm here every Friday. da da dum!

I'm going to cozy up here at home and work on a rewrite. I had the MOST confusing meeting yesterday and let's just say it was both eye opening and confounding. No worries - I have a plan.

Do you like how I take notes?

Monday Monday, Can't Trust That Day

We hosted a party over the weekend here at the Chez Emerson.

A murder mystery dinner.

Which was so much fun and surprisingly get-into-it-able. Is that not a word? I didn't have a word. But trust me, the participants were very fun with their character development. My Sarah Bella called us LARPERS (I think). It's some sort of totally geeky thing where the game players dress up in costumes. So yes, we were larpers. It makes me laugh. Who doesn't like a good role play now and again? I'm winking here. Oh come on - you all have done it SOMEWHERE. It's fun!

We did this party as part of our quarterly GNO (girl's night out) and I think it was a great success! Quite a few in this group are good actors. And good lookin'.

But this post isn't only about the party of larpers or the details of the party; it's also about my Sarah Bella. Who not only was strong armed by her momma (me) into helping us stay on course, but was pimped out by us as a server, bartender, cook, party motivator, and slave.

She dressed the part perfectly. Black slacks, white blouse. I gave her a Mardi Gras bow tie to complete her outfit.

She greeted guests at the door, took their coats, gave them their name tags, got them drinks, brought their food contributions to the party room, and, in one case, cooked one guest's cheese dip.

And, most importantly, kept us on track. Because I know that left to our own devices our train would have left the track very very quickly.

I'm the luckiest momma in the world.

Love you my Sarah Bella.

DietBet

I'm participating in a challenge through my Fitfluential group. Since all of us resolutioners are resolutioning it seemed like a way to jumpstart.

Our challenge is we bet $25 dollars we can lose 4 percent of our bodyweight by a goal date. The winners split the pot.

Why not? I'd waste $25 willy nilly here and there so why not on this? Me?

Check DietBet out and start your own challenge!

~~~~~~~~

I was wandering around yesterday looking for inspiration and found a post by a very motivated guy that talked about blogs that start out hot and heavy and then limp off into . . . I don't know where they go! They just disappear.

Yup.

Gah and oh oh.

I'm allowing January to kick my butt. I'd rather kick it's dark, dreary, cold ass.

Okay.

We went to dinner with daughter Lorenzo the other evening and she was sharing how a friend of hers is going for her training certificate (I think?? Something like this.) and is training Lorenzo and one of Lorenzo's friends. Working them to death. It sounds good!

My friend and fellow blogger tPretty (love you T) has always been the gold-standard for fitness. She puts the rubber on the road always and if she lived by me I would be begging her on a daily basis to train me.

I have another friend that is training for half marathons and mentioned how addicted he has become to running.

This sounds good to me as well. Not becoming addicted to running because that is not my thing, but becoming addicted to fitness and nutrition and bombing the blues.

Bombing the Blues.

Hot Men Friday

Matt Damon

I know I've shown Matt here before. I have an urge to show him again so guess what? Yup.

He has a good face. Good lips. Nice ass. Seems self-deprecating. And Republican-types seem to not love him, so all the better! That was smart-assy wasn't it? That kind of make me happy because my smart-assy ways have gone with the warm temperatures. This month sucks everything good out of me. My mood, my dewy fresh skin, my smart-assy ways.

I fear for next month!

But, yes, this is a good face. It could cheer me up. Yes!

How can you be mad at a guy that can play the hot character Jason Bourne . . .

Then play Liberace's lover (ooooh that word! Not a good word. Right up there with moist and vagina - boner killers).

I love that he is kinda goofy and has an ass that deserves some visual appreciation. Sorry Matt, you are being objectified.

I think he'll get over it.

But I won't.

I Left That Where??

I have a lot of devices.

I have my beloved iMac that is beginning to show his age.

I have my new Macbook Pro laptop (kiss kiss). A powerhouse that I will be loading with all of my powerhouse software so I can do my new job on the fly as I've found working at home all the time is kinda lonely and I need the office culture to keep me lovely and smart and plugged in. This sweetie is gorgeous and I am in love with it.

I have my iPad. I didn't love my iPad at first. I kinda thought it was crazy to have, yet, another thing to manage. I have found that it's a great resource and very portable for my transient ways at the moment. My scary-genius boss set up my work email on this little baby so I have to keep it close. Pup got me a keyboard that holds it and then snaps onto as a cover. That really clinched the deal for me. I hated that touchscreen. My brain loves to work fast; when it's working.

Last, but not least, is my phone. I stopped bitching about it (finally) and find it lovely. Samsung, love has grabbed me, beat me over the head, and left me a slave to you. #overstatingismylife

Why am I talking about these life-helpers? I have a hard time managing everything!

First: the email. I have email everywhere. I have five email accounts for differing reasons. Jobs, transitioning, blog. All five of them are necessary. And all five of them come in on every device. Gah!

It doesn't stop me from losing emails. Forgetting emails. Over-answering emails. Under-answering emails. I am in email overload. I think it's my fault.

Then there is Facebook. I have been goofing with it for the past year and have found it fun and have found it a time suck as maybe some of you with Facebook have found it.

I open Facebook on my iMac, I open it on my Macbook, I open it on my iPad, I open it on my phone. I forget to shut it down. I'm sure if anyone is looking, and I'm pretty certain no one is, it looks like I'm on all the time. #fail

And the pinging. If I don't watch it, all of these things are chiming, pinging, ringing, nagging. Pup will say, "Was that you? Which one is it?" He's no better. He has lots of devices as well.

It's a dinging hell around here. And I'm not even adding in the appliances that ding and ping.

I could turn them all off and sometimes do. Turn off all the sounds that pop out of them. The quiet is good!

How do you guys manage all that you do? Am I missing an app? Don't tell me about it! But do tell me how you manage your stuff.

Quote

Every girl is expected to have caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance-hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits.

The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes. Everyone else is struggling.

~Tina Fey

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I'm all done growing up (which, let's face it, will never happen) I want to be smart, funny, and adorkable like this woman.

I already have the glasses. The rest can't be far behind yes?

Trips and Falls

12.31.12

I'm up in the loft. Packing for our trip to the Dominican Republic. I'm on the phone with my Shelley-Belly.

"Are you guys so excited? Have you ever been there before?" my SB asks.

"We haven't! I'm trying to figure out outfits for seven balmy evenings," I reply.

"Hey Shelley-Belly? I'm feeling a bit weird - I think I just pooped my pants," I say.

And so it begins.


NOROVIRUS

I spend the rest of the afternoon with head shoved into a bucket so the other end can be safe. You get the picture.

I pass out on the sofa in The Big Room. I sleep so hard and long that I don't even hear George while he's begging to go outdoors. Poor Georgie.

Pup comes home.

"Do you think you'll be able to fly tomorrow?"

I shoot him a look. I don't think it was nice.

I can tell he thinks I'm being a puss. But later when I emerge from the bathroom I find him and all three pets staring at me from the steps to the loft.

"It's bad isn't it babe?" he asks.

I start crying.

Later Pup tells me, "I feel weird."

Pretty soon his head is shoved into a bucket.

Life is not good.

We miss our New Year's Day plane.

I fear we will miss the trip.

Pup has it, but not quite as badly as me. Doesn't it figure? Nothing vegetable-like EVER enters his body, yet his immune system is strong like bull. He is strong like bull.

By 1.2.13 he is feeling really good and I'm feeling kinda good. We decide to go on trip. Two days late and with adjustment fees (the bastards), but we go.

Yay!

The travel day for me is bad. Our first full day in the Dominican is Friday. I am in a fog.

Then the fog lifts and we have a great time!

I stole the window seat from Pup just once.

Grounds of our resort. Of course I did not manage to get a shot of the ocean.

But here's some food just so you know it's me behind the phone. 

We played Bingo. Hey, we were drinking, what can I say? And I won.

They are very busy sniffing everything I brought home.

I got to wear all of the boob-baring dresses in my closet. I browned my skin and look Spanish according to one of the staff at our lovely resort. I got halfway through Anna Karenina (this is a feat let me say), I saw my ass on video (holy hannah), lay by the pool, got in the pool, floated in the pool.

I got to hang with my dear dear friend Allie McBeal (the best travel companion ever), shopped a little, ate a lot, drank some, and just breathed the balmy sea air with really bad hair.

Lovely lovely so lovely.

It was worth the bucket.

Overheard

This is not my creation, but it's so adorable!

We moved Momma Betty (Pup's momma) into an assisted living community recently and while all of this is new and scary for her we want to make certain that she gets the lay of the land. But, of course, all of us are idiots and no one went over any of the paperwork given to us from the facility.

There's a lot to learn.

First of all - you can't just show up in the cafe and expect breakfast. You have to plan for that - as the kitchen would. So we were to have signed up the day before; which we didn't.

No, this is not a restaurant. Ha! You get what they're serving. Three very sad faces in my group. This family eats out a lot! Which means I eat out a lot! There will be a period of adjustment here.

So, while we're wreaking havoc in our Pup-family way, I sit back to listen to some of the other Q-tips (my affectionate naming of the senior-set). There is a conversation going on at a table just off of my left a bit.

Older gentleman is saying to older lady:

How long have you been here?

She replies:

Oh, I think I've been here the longest of anyone. I've been here since 1997!

Older gentleman:

What? No you haven't! I've been here the longest! 

Older Lady:

I don't remember you. I'm certain I would have seen you around.

Older gentleman:

I got down here at 7:30! I was the first!

Older lady shaking her head and looking confused.

Another older gentleman chimes in:

Honey, he means today - how long have you been here today?

She exclaims:

Now why would you want to know that? Breakfast doesn't start until 8:30!

I was choking on my oatmeal.

~~~~~~~

Happy New Year everyone!

Obsession

I've had this one for as long as I can remember. It's a bit embarrassing. Proof that I am eternally 12 years-old. Yeah, I knew you would agree!

I have a love.

A love for . . .

Office supplies.

Yep, I can't resist new mechanical pencils, the perfect gel pen, and notebooks.

Notebooks.

I have them tucked everywhere. In my handbag, in the kitchen, on my office desktop (well, duh!), in my bedroom, in my car, in The Big Room, in Pup's car, in the bathroom. Yes, even there. You just don't know when a random thought might appear and let's be clear here - if I don't write it down immediately, it's gone. GONE!

I know I've passed this particular obsession to at least one of my daughters. Along with my love of hair twirling. Hey! It's what mothers are for.

I don't think of my obsession as bad, I think of it as necessary.

I know they have some office supplies hidden in here somewhere.

What's your secret obsession?

Knee Deep in the Bootla

Well, not exactly. It's snowed a bit here and there, but not the pounding I'm desiring. It's winter! Let's get our snow on!

We have passed the shortest day which always makes me happy because now we're heading back to longer days of more light.

I do kinda cocoon in during these dark dark days. Very reflective. Maybe even a touch down. It's my nature. I'm mostly happy, but have never minded nurturing a down day here and there. It just feels right at times.

So I pad around in slippers and flannel, enjoying my SAD experience. If that makes no sense, well then welcome! You are beginning to get it!

All of that aside, let's enjoy a few shots of our Eve Eve.

Wow! Is that my house? I like it!

See the workout outfit hanging on the door at the top of the stairs? Yeah, it's been hanging there for more than a minute. Heh!

George is waiting for everyone to get here already. Don't they know he's waiting to hump them and jump on them? Bad dog.

The meatballs. I only ate one while making them. That might be the first time ever.

Load up the tray to set the table.

Simple, but so pretty.

We all have feet.

George might be pouting. He really has no idea that his life is perfect.

But the Squeekers get it.

I hope your days were merry and bright.

Smooches all my holiday hooches.