Friday, October 29, 2010

Hot Men Friday

Isn't he lovely? Isn't he wonderful? Isn't he special?

Thank you Clive Owen. I enjoy your movies. I find you endearing and brooding at the same time. And not just handsome, but seriously handsome.

Did anyone see the movie he was in with Jennifer Aniston? The one where she sets him up to blackmail him? Derailed I believe is the name. Yes, a clunker, but I have a weakness for movies with Jennifer Aniston.

I am going to stare at this post a little longer than usual today.

It's Friday! Wish me well, I'm off to take a quiz.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

You Can Leave Your Hat On*

*Inspiration from Heff
I was brought up in a house where you took off your shoes.

No questions. Winter, spring, summer, or fall (all you have to do is call - oh stop!) the shoes came off.

Didn't matter if you had on the loveliest boots that took you five minutes to get on and tucked perfectly. Didn't matter if you had on shameful socks. Didn't matter if you needed a pedicure (although my mom once told me that any woman who painted her toenails was hiding something), the shoes came off when you hit her front door.

Of course, you wouldn't come in the front door. You had to enter through the garage. My mom had millions of 'rules'.

1. Do not throw any tissues in the bathroom wastebasket. I had a girlfriend at the cabin once and my mom was thoroughly annoyed that she kept tossing tissues into the canister.

2. Wipe the dog's feet before she enters the house. Well, the damn dog didn't have shoes did she?

3. No bare feet on her vinyl kitchen floor. Those feet leave little sweaty footprints.

4. No showering in the main bathroom. This one flummoxed me. Yes I knew the 'reason', but wha?? I still love baths, but I decidedly luxuriate in long, hot showers.

5. No one's cooking tastes better than hers. This one happens to have been very true. She was an AWESOME cook, but god save you if you ever mentioned that Mrs. Oppen could make a mean pot of coffee.

6. Vacuum carpet so the nap goes all one way. When I was in high school and my parents were at the cabin, my girlfriends and I ran amuk and trod on the carpet. Smushing the carpet all over. The joke was on me however, because I would have to re-vacuum. Ha!

7. No one over the age of 30 needs hair longer than her shoulders. Well, she didn't like vacuuming up long hairs. It interfered with the carpet nap.

8. Kitchen and bathroom floors need to be scrubbed on your hands and knees. There is stuff going on down there you need to see close up. A domestic-dinosaur I practice to this day. She's right!

9. Redheads cannot wear red. She was a redhead and stayed in her color wheel. And this was YEARS before anyone had ever heard of having your colors 'done'.

10. All meals need a salad, pickles, olives, bread, meat, gravy, vegetable, and a starch. I don't know how she knew this stuff, but my mom was waaaaaay ahead nutritionally. She made EVERYTHING from scratch. I didn't appreciate it at the time. I loved going to my friend's houses where we ate Jeno's Pizza, drank Tang, and had sugary cereal for breakfast. That shit wasn't happening at our house.

I am crazy just like my mom. Except for the shoes. Leave your damn shoes on. I know how taking them off can ruin an outfit.

Miss you Nana. It kills me that you're gone.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

I am not a fan.

I don't like decorating Halloween.

I don't like wading through millions of spider webs every time I go shopping.

I don't like candy in the house. Note to self: do not buy Snickers. They are evil.

I don't like the slutty costumes. No woman over the age of 42, I don't care how hot you are, should be wearing Naughty Nurse Nancy costumes.

And guys, poking holes in a ziploc, placing it over your head, and calling yourself a condom isn't as clever as you think. I've seen this. Don't ask.

I do love the pumpkin scones at Starbucks. I do love the pumpkin-flavored lattes, pumpkin bread, pumpkin pie. LOVE all things pumpkin. I even look good in that color, if I wore color.


The weather here right now is crazy. I studied yesterday afternoon and it felt as if our house could become Dorothy's house at any moment. It was shaking and quaking. I'm seriously glad we had that ancient cottonwood tree removed or I may have had new greenery in our loft.

Right now I'm in the guest bedroom (still on the spare computer) and the wind is HOWLING around me. I can feel every crack and draft in this 100 year old house.

I seriously think that my lack of imagination right now is directly related to the computer I am using.

We have a Macbook, but I only like laptops for, well, my lap. Not as my real puter. So I'm on the spare PC. It's an ugly thing. Clumsy keyboard and horrible presentation. It's hard to think on this computer. And I do my homework on this computer. I am having a hard time splitting the two. Imagination and homework.

I had an appointment with the Apple docs yesterday, but the rain was whipping and the wind was blowing and I couldn't figure out how to get the damn thing from my car into the mall without dying. So I rescheduled. Yes, I am a wimp.

How you doin'?

Friday, October 22, 2010

Hot Men Friday

It's Friday? What happened to the other days? I'm certain I wrote and posted fascinating crap on one of those days. No? I've been robbed! Call the web-police.

"Officer, I KNOW I did SOMETHING interesting and postable this week. Excuse me? Is that any way to talk to a law-abiding zin? Oh - that got back to the precinct? Well, all I can say is there must be ANOTHER woman that shuffles about looking like she just lost her last brain cell. Oh - you have DNA? And affidavits from the annoyed? Okay then."

I got shushed in class this week. Well, not just ME, but three of us that were being a bit too entertaining-at-least-to-us. Oh the humility. I don't know one person on earth that enjoys being shushed. And I never understand the shusher. Do you enjoy the hate? Hmm? The three of us pretty much said STFU in our minds. After we did. STFU I mean. SHUSH!

I am pulling a solid C in class. A C! Testing is difficult - I take tests about as well as I give directions. The information is IN my brain, but I cannot figure out how to get it out. Arg and grr.

Today I'm going in early and Instructor is helping a few of us that want some help. The software we're using is seriously giving me fits. The other day Lyndsi was helping me and she just shook her head and said, "Oh Deb." Wah??

I'm laughing. And crying. But come on! What kind of software doesn't let you use a mouse?? F10 F10 F10. Tab tab tab. Arrow arrow arrow. Sounds like PC tyranny to me.

I miss my Mac! I'm taking it to the hospital next week. Finally. I've pulled some things out of its dead carcass. Enough said. I can't think about that right now.

So let's think about Simon Baker!
Gratuitous Pec-shot. Enjoy
Cute movie
Australian - check!
Thick, curly, blond hair - check!
Quirky nerd glasses - check!
Cold-heart-melting smile - check!

Nummsies is what I say. I'll bring these visuals to class this morning. Mmmm!

Sunday, October 17, 2010


 It takes a genius to whine appealingly.
~F. Scott Fitzgerald

Friday, October 15, 2010

Hot Men Friday

It is the 40th anniversary of Love Story. The movie that ruined love for everyone and was the start of the genre of film, La Chic Flik. And all men have cursed that day ever since.

Because really Jennie and Oliver? Love means never having to say you're sorry? You preppy-bastards.

It is worth a watch IMHO, mostly for Ali MacGraw and what she was wearing. She was the girl we all wanted to look like. I sat in the theater with my boyfriend, Rick Ortenblad (We were total babies! Literally!) and cried and cried and coveted every outfit Jennie had on.
Not in film, but wouldn't you wear this dress?
She was also married to the coolest man that ever lived.
Future Hot Men Friday I'm thinking.

You could take everything she wore in that film and wear it today.  You'd look fabulous and chic.

And Ryan O'Neil. The thick, blond hair, the great lips, the bluer than blue eyes. Oh swoon! I swooned and swooned.
So, I debated about him being our HMF. He's a douche yes? Do we secretly like douches? Well, let's think about that for a second.

Yes, we do. Jeez! Pathetic. Many of you will deny, but the truth is there.

We don't want to like douches, but when they're pretty, well, it's easy to shove the douchability under their Gant button-ups. But don't marry a douche. Only look at him and swoon. Just a little. Ha!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Couldn't You Knock First? I'm Trying to Do Something Here.

Self-indulgent cat photo.

I have no idea what Calvin is trying to do.

Ridiculous yes? I can't help it. This cat kills me. And yes, I know all cats do stuff like this.

The box is mine from a Nordstrom delivery (happy days!) and plunk - cat in the box. Cat in the box staring at me.

This might be the stuff that distracts me from homework.

Note of randomness - Notice Pup's clothes all over bed in guestroom? Hmm!

It's Thursday!  Get your happy on!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Blog Award - For Me?

Yes, the coveted birkin and the coveted hair.
 I have been graced with The Versatile Blogger award from Danielle over at Project Danielle. How adorable is this girl? Her blog is stuffed full of product info and insights from her busy busy life. She makes me feel like a total slacker with her working, mothering, boyfriend-wrangling, and schooling self. She manages all of that and her blog and a recent move and FINGERNAILS! Love you woman.

I am to share seven things you don't know about me.

Hmm . . . only seven? Or should I say - what haven't I blabbed about? Again, hmm . . .

  1. I am the slowest woman in the morning. It can take me two hours to GET READY. WTF? I can go faster, but then something will distract me and . . . forget it. TWO HOURS! I blame it on my hair. Oh - and my brain.
  2. I have the WORST hair. I am constantly on the search for the THING. The thing that will make it perfect. So far - nope. So I'll just sit here twisting it thank you very much.
  3. In my head, I could be an interior decorator. Except for coming up with ideas endlessly. And dealing with clients that might disagree with me. Oh - and knowing EVERYTHING design there is to know. One more - admitting there is style beyond mid-century modern (say it isn't so??).
  4. I have a lamp fetish. I stalk them like a criminal. I am mostly excited about our adding a den just because I get to find more lamps. Couple this fetish with a total aversion to overhead lighting. Could that be my age talking? No one looks good in overhead lighting.
  5. I'm annoying - oh wait - many of you know this. But I bet you don't know the DEPTH of my annoying. For real. Serious. Don't make me show you. Just ask my husband.
  6. I cannot get into an unmade bed. But apparently, webs hanging from the vaulted ceiling in our loft do not phase me. #lazymofo
  7. I also have a handbag fetish. Good handbags. I crave them like a junkie. Love the designer ones, but vintage creeps in there as well. I would change handbags twice a day if the opportunity presented itself.
Let's get this party started! I'm off to stalk a few lamps with a freshly chosen handbag. Confession - I'm carrying a white one right now because the weather is so fine! Don't look at me like that.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Sometimes a Great Notion

Chez Emerson

It is freakishly and wondrously hot here in Chez Emerson-land. I've been enjoying every second as it can change with the sound of the wind and, 'poof,' it's gone. This time of year is frequently called Indian Summer and a quick lookie into Wiki tells me nearly nothing. I'm certain in these tender and watchful times that phrase will offend someone, somewhere, but that is how I grew up identifying it.

Wiki says: An Indian Summer is a meteorological phenomenon that occurs in autumn, in the Northern Hemisphere. It is characterized by a period of sunny, warm weather, after the leaves have turned following an onset of frost, but before the first snowfall.

I'm not certain why it would offend since it is the most glorious part of the year. The time of year (and we don't get it every year) where the leaves are turned and turning while falling rapidly, the lower stance of the sun totally belies the air temperature, and you will see more than normal convertible activity.

Because, just like spring, fall is a precious time for us Minnesotans and we will squeeze every good day like a juicy lime. Squeeze that baby right into my gin and tonic since I'll soon be drinking scotch and soaking in a tub after eating stew.

You see what I'm saying? Ha!

So, this past weekend Pup and I were scurrying around the manse, working on the many chores and projects that are never-ending when you are a homeowner (do I hear a condo calling me? Hmm? Listen hard!)

Here is what I did.
To truly enjoy this lovely vision, you need to remember what it looked like after my first step-painting attempt.

Uh huh. What.Was.I.Thinking? Whoo ha - ugly is ugly you have to agree.
Pup indulged me with the black door. I don't think he was totally convinced when I broached it originally, but he trusted me and he now says he loves it as much as I do.

I keep going places just so I can come home and enjoy how it looks!

*Post title from a novel by Ken Kesey.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Andy Pettitte Fallout*

I love my son-in-law.
*This post is in response to yesterday's Yankees post. Not all have the Yankees love.

He's adorable and he loves my daughter Sarah. I do believe he loves her more than football. Uh huh! Yeah! Go Vikings! He does love her like that.

When they first started dating and were all in crush-all-day mode, I adviced my daughter with gems like, "Don't text him back every damn text! He doesn't need to know you're sitting here waiting for his next text"! and "Once in a while, don't answer your phone! He doesn't need to know your whereabouts each and every minute"!

Um, yeah . . . that's going to work.

When The Big B became part of our fam and in the 'inner circle' we joked about my little pearls of wisdom. He once told me that it was a good thing Sarah totally ignored everything I said because that just wouldn't have worked for them.


Big mouth meet ass. Yes I am an ass. Yes I stick my nose in it. I really try not to. MISFIRE!!! Ha!

My heart is in the right place, but my mouth doesn't always get the message. It's part of my charm! Don't look at me like that!

So, yesterday, when The Big B read my blog (Pup was amazed that B reads my blog since HE doesn't even read my blog. Ha!) B was incensed by my Yankee-love.

Here are the texts he sent.

B: U r officially out as mother in law after reading ur blog today!!!!!!!! jk. But I dont like it! Lets see him do that against a real team huh!
Me: I can't help it! I would have liked it much better if we had kicked their asses. For real!
B: Sorry I MUST HAVE MISSED THAT PART OF YOUR BLOG! lol. Just having some fun with it. I wish to cry.
Me: I like the Yankees, but truly like it much better when we win. I mean it! I can't help it if Andy Pettitte is hot!
B: I just saw those pics and had to give u a little crap for it. Sarah said hes only cute though. :)
Me: Wah? Sarah doesn't want to Pett-itte?? (sorry, bad puns are my middle name) Ha!
B: lol. I thought it was funny.
Me: :)

The Big B! Love you baby-boy, mean it!

Friday, October 8, 2010

Hot Men Friday

Andy Pettitte

I'm not getting into whatever it is he said he did or didn't do regarding HGH.

I'm not getting into how much the Yankees are hated - blow me.

I'm not getting into how I should hate the damn Yankees since they kicked my Twins asses. Again - blow me.

Look at this face! Is that not the best nose you've ever seen? When he is staring at me (yes! me!) from over that glove getting ready to throw, when I feel that steely intensity - well I can't talk about it. I may need to leave the room.

This man is hot.

He's big and broody and intense and focused and hot.

Have I mentioned hot?

I saw him once outside of a downtown hotel. He is huge. He made me feel like a waif-girl. My knees got a little bendy I cannot lie. I bit my tongue and didn't holler anything that would make me sound desperate or horny.

I could watch him pitch all day. And kinda did last night.

Sorry my Twins. Maybe we will win in New York. Okay okay - I can say it if I want to.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Macintosh Smackintosh

Big surprise - image stolen from internets. I'm a criminal.
Come get me. I can't outrun you.
 My Mac has now died.

I had my tech over yesterday (he has no web page or I'd totally link to him, he's been my Mac tech for nearly 12 years - yikes!).

After doing all his voodo whoodo and diagnostics and housecleaning his face got 'that look' and he said, "You know, this hardly ever happens with these little iMacs, but your hard drive is dying."

Deborah say wah?

Oye to the vey.

Poopy shitty.

Holy crapinoli.

Who's ass can I kick?




The best part (sarcasm?? hehehe), I need to take it to Apple. Yep, I have to schlep my Mac and it's power cord to Apple. I'd insert a well-timed F word, but if I start I'll never stop.

I'll eyeball the iPads I've been lusting for lately. Oh yeah, did I mention that my netbook took a shit as well? Uh huh. I'm the puter-death-ray around these parts. Pup grabbed his MacBook and hid it. Pussy!

So! It's all good. I'm on the Pup-spare in the guest room (damn PC - hate that clumsy, clunky, noisy thing), I have a mid-term to study for, and I didn't hit the bottle.

It's a good day!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Socially Awkward

Pup and I went to see The Social Network last Friday.

I would recommend this movie to ya'll. I enjoyed it even though I do not have a Facebook account and, flesh willing, will never have one. Not being snotty about it, but I truly do not want another thing to manage online. And the stalking aspect of it is a little creepy. That's okay. I'm certain I will not be missed.

In the film, (and I'm assuming for real in life) Mark Zuckerberg is painted as a scary-genius type who is, also, socially awkward. As socially awkward as you can imagine.

In my life, I've skittered about from plugged-in socially young 'un to never-going-out young mom to friendly shop owner to biz-lunch woman to, now, unemployed hermit.

I've described myself as an introverted extravert more than once so I can marvel, from my introspection vantage point, a bit at our human condition. The way we can overcome any shyness we may be feeling by appearing in the moment and unfazed.

I kinda love that. I love being able to do something way out of a personal comfort zone and then holing up at home to lick the wounds that appear.

The human spirit - it's the new black. I'll wear it. After all, black is in my color wheel.

Where have you pushed yourself? How comfortable are you with being uncomfortable?

Friday, October 1, 2010

Hot Men Friday

Short, dark, and handsome. 

As I was sussing around, gathering shots of Josh, I noticed how static his look is. Even when he sports some man-fringe. That's okay . . . I'm digging his short thighs and handsome-as-hell face. Oh, and the lips. Great lips.

He has something of the naughty going on. It's clich├ęd to say this, but it seems like he'd be a blast to go out with. Let's ask Diane Lane!

Or it could be he actually is that vacuous. No! He only plays that in the movies!

Yeah, I'd hang out with him.

Oh! How did this get in here? ;)