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Isn't that lovely?

Sunday Morning

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Christmastime Quote

  Christmas Gift Suggestions

• To your enemy, forgiveness. 
• To an opponent, tolerance. 
• To a friend, your heart. 
• To a customer, service. 
• To all, charity. 
• To every child, a good example. 
• To yourself, respect.

~Oren Arnold, Author

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Would you look good?

. . . in a potato sack?

I said pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together.
~Marilyn Monroe

Overheard

I am always lookin for sumthin. 

We are out with Momma Betty. We are in a bar/grill type place. Sitting in a booth. There is a a threesome (ha) of women sitting behind us.

One of the women is talking. I'm not wholly aware of her at first. Then after a few minutes (we were being kinda quiet in our booth) I can't not be aware of her.

She is talking talking talking. About nothing nothing nothing.

I can't stop listening. I listen to her talk about mayonnaise. How she hates mayonnaise. How the restaurant put mayonnaise on her sandwich. "Why would they put mayonnaise on this sandwich?"

I want to hit her. I want to take her sandwich and shove it deep into her mouth, maybe down her throat.

I wonder to myself why she makes me so mad. Why is her being over the top inane bothering me?

Pup and I are in the car today. Talking about people bugging us. I say, "It bothered me that that woman bothered me. What if I'm that woman at times? What if someone wants to chew off their arm to get away from my inaneness? What if I'm that woman?"

We laugh. We laugh at each other. Because we know that sometimes, yes sometimes, all of us are that woman. We dwell on something inane. We tell a story maybe once or twice too often.

Remember that quote? “No matter how good she looks - no matter how sweet she talks - somebody, somewhere is sick and tired of putting up with her shit.” We are all that woman at one time or another.

A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed. 
~Anonymous

Do It Anyway

For No Apparent Reason

Song of Perfect Propriety
by Dorothy Parker

Oh, I should like to ride the seas,
A roaring buccaneer;
A cutlass banging at my knees,
A dirk behind my ear.
And when my captives' chains would clank
I'd howl with glee and drink,
And then fling out the quivering plank
And watch the beggars sink.

I'd like to straddle gory decks,
And dig in laden sands,
And know the feel of throbbing necks
Between my knotted hands.
Oh, I should like to strut and curse
Among my blackguard crew . . . .
But I am writing little verse,
As little ladies do.

Oh, I should like to dance and laugh
And pose and preen and sway,
And rip the hearts of men in half,
And toss the bits away.
I'd like to view the reeling years
Through unastonished eyes,
And dip my finger-tips in tears,
And give my smiles for sighs.

I'd stroll beyond the ancient bounds,
And tap at fastened gates,
And hear the prettiest of sound-
The clink of shattered fates.
My slaves I'd like to bind with thongs
That cut and burn and chill . . . . 
But I am writing little songs,
As little ladies will.

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Loves me some Dorothy.

James Gandolfini

The things I take pleasure in, I can't do.
~Tony Soprano

Actor James Gandolfini Dies

I inhaled the Soprano series via Netflix the summer I left my wasband. I had a tiny apartment in the Twin Cities and, at that time, didn't watch much TV. I sat in a large green chair in my tiny living room and watched episode after episode that summer. Drinking either iced coffee or rum and cokes, depending on my mood and the time of day.

There are certain actors that enthrall. Certain actors that when you discover them in the credits, you sit up and anticipate their arrival on the screen.

So sorry for his family. So sorry for us.

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If I’d observed all the rules, I’d never have got anywhere. 

~Marilyn Monroe

Diamonds are nothing more than chunks of coal that stuck to their jobs.

~Malcolm Forbes

The fearful are caught as often as the bold. 
~Helen Keller

Your flaws, no matter how hard you work to improve them, will never be as good as your strengths. 
~Amanda Linehan

My favorite fruit is grapes. Because with grapes, you always get another chance. Cause, you know, if you have a crappy apple or a peach, you're stuck with that crappy piece of fruit. But if you have a crappy grape, no problem - just move on to the next. Grapes: The Fruit of Hope.
~Demetri Martin

When you're stuck, and sure you've written absolutely garbage, force yourself to finish and then decide to fix or scrap it - or you will never know if you can.
~Jodi Picoult

I know several amazing people that move forward. Most of the time I don't even know about it. They just do it. They don't talk about it much. They just do it. Move forward. Seems easy as I am writing this out. It isn't. I find this to be a strength and I strive to move forward.

Everything around us moves forward. Winter leaves. Spring comes. The sun shines. The mind thinks; yes it does! Even when you think it thoughtless.

Go get yourself daffodils. I am drinking in their promise. Albeit it slowly.

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I do wish I had taken my own advice and not posted anything political. Too polarizing! And it's a losers game.

Anyone need an antacid after eating that piece of annoying pie?

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It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
~Theodore Roosevelt

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
~Groucho Marx

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
~George Burns

Government exists to protect us from each other. Where government has gone beyond its limits is in deciding to protect us from ourselves.
~Ronald Reagan

Show me a young Conservative and I'll show you someone with no heart. Show me an old Liberal and I'll show you someone with no brains.
~Winston Churchill

A change is brought about because ordinary people do extraordinary things.
~Barack Obama

You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn't that long ago that we were swept away by the Macarena.
~Jon Stewart

The rights of every man are diminished when the rights of one man are threatened.
~John F. Kennedy

Polyester Makes Me Itchy

The secret to a rich life is to have more beginnings than endings.
~Dave Weinbaum

The starting point of all achievement is desire. Keep this constantly in mind. Weak desires bring weak results, just as a small amount of fire makes a small amount of heat.
~Napoleon Hill

It's never too late. Never too late to start over, never too late to be happy.
~Jane Fonda

So what do we do? Anything. Something. So long as we just don't sit there. If we screw it up, start over. Try something else. If we wait until we've satisfied all the uncertainties, it may be too late.
~Lee Iacocca

Pup and I are going on vacation in January with another couple.

For fun one night while together, the four of us decided that we should get in shape for the trip. From mine and Pup's perspective we KNOW we should get in shape for this trip. We don't want to be the fatties. We want to be the hotties. Well, maybe Pup doesn't really care about being a hotty. I would love to be a hotty.

So we decided to have a little competition. The four of us are going to see who loses the most weight and gets in the best shape. I'm not real certain how we'll discern and select the winner, but I am certain that we have decided that the loser has to wear a leisure suit on the plane to the Dominican Republic.

It will not be me!

It's fall; do you know where your abs are?

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Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.
~Mae West

I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is not enough; we must do.
~Leonardo Da Vinci

Better slip with foot than tongue.
~Benjamin Franklin

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.
~Jerry Seinfeld

What Fresh Hell Is This?

I don't remember exactly when I fell in love with Dorothy Parker.

It could have been when I was in high school and obsessed with everything to do with The Marx Brothers. I don't know what that was about, but I would ride city buses to unknown and shady parts of town to just see a random showing of one of their movies.

While in that obsession I read everything I could get my hands on regarding The Marx Brothers. Harpo being my favorite. During all those readings I found out about The Algonquin Round Table. And with that, my discovery of Dorothy Parker.

For years I used her What fresh hell is this? as my tagline on the many forums I frequented. It made me smile every time I saw it scripted out below my name. It makes me smile still.

Here are a few of my favorite quotes of hers. I'm going to kick back and enjoy each one like a caramel that I savor very very slowly.

Don't look at me in that tone of voice.

I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host.

What fresh hell is this?

Tell him I was too fucking busy - or vice versa.

I hate writing, I love having written.

There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words.

It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.

Writing is the art of applying the ass to the seat.

It's a small apartment, I've barely enough room to lay my hat and a few friends.

This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.

If you're going to write, don't pretend to write down. It's going to be the best you can do, and it's the fact that it's the best you can do that kills you.

Sorrow is tranquility remembered in emotion.

~Dorothy Parker

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Make voyages; attempt them.; there's nothing else. 
~Tennessee Williams from Camino Real

Fear of Falling

Age, 26 - this girl was not often afraid

Pup was out of town over the weekend golfing with his sister and her family.

I was originally going, but was gently told that crappy golfers like myself are not welcome on the courses these good golfers would be going to. I was going to hang out on the cart and I don't know what else.

As it turned out I was unexpectedly scheduled to work and had to bow out. So I stayed home and had fun in spite of myself.

:)

I am a crappy golfer. Worse than a crappy golfer.

Part of it is intimidation. Which kinda pisses me off. Why would I allow myself to be intimidated?

I've asked Pup to golf with me, but bottom line I can see that he isn't that into helping a newbie. Or it's me projecting my fears. I don't know!

I don't even exactly know what I'm working through in this moment.

Because if I don't take care of my fears who will? I do have lots of fears that I have to plow through. All the time. Sometimes I am really good at it. I can rear right up into the face of it and holler! Other times I sidestep the fear like the crab (Cancer per my horoscope!) I am.

So . . . let my fears pile up? Hunt a few down and do them in?

I'm not just talking golf here people.

This week I will load my rifle and get me some fear. I will hang the heads on my wall and feel boastful that I killed that one . . . and that one . . . and that one.


You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
~ Eleanor Roosevelt

The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.
~ Elbert Hubbard

The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but, it is fear.
~ Gandhi

Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are your own fears.
~ Rudyard Kipling

Violently Happy

I can change from being pissed off to being happy but I don't see it as bipolar I see it as being a girl.
~ Unknown

Some people are so stressed trying to be perfectly flawless, but I'm so HAPPY to be perfectly flawed.
~ Unknown

Happiness is the delicate balance between what one is and what one has.
~ Unknown

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
~ Herm Albright

True happiness is singing at the top of your lungs in your car while the people in the car next to you are staring.
~ Unknown

What are you all doing to get your happy on this gorgeous Memorial Day?

Smooches my hooches.

Too Much

This photo has nothing to do with anything. I just love Pam Grier.

I love . . .

. . . hoody sweatshirts - so ridiculous - I keep one in every room of the house to pull on because I vacillate from heat-from-within hot to brrrrrr chilly.

. . . my coffee from Mexico - where is it? Wah . . .

. . . salad bar at Ruby Tuesdays - don't even start with me about this, heh!

. . . how much fun I had at book club Tuesday night - met another new friend. She and I clicked and I can't wait to be at another book club night.

. . . that I am finally settling down from vacation. WTH is that about? It's taking almost longer than the damn vacation to get back to normal. Could it be I have no normal and that's the problem? hehehe

. . . toenails painted red - I am boring as hell about this one. I see all the green, blue, and gray toenails out there. Mine are red. They really make me happy.

. . . the Zelda Fitzgerald bio I'm reading. She should have lived in this time. Then her light wouldn't have been hidden under an insecure husband.

. . . being a bit tan. I have a hard time keeping my vitamin D levels good so I am supposed to get sun. It feels decadent and wrong. But my legs are looking good!

. . . being ogled. I know that's wrong. Yesterday a man at the Turnstyle nearly had his head down my shirt he was trying so hard to get a better view. He could nearly see my shoes from the top of my boobs. I so wanted to say, "Hey, you better watch out. Many men have fallen in there and were never seen again." but I figured that would be wrong as well. There are too many rules to follow people!

. . . twisting my hair - again, this is just wrong, but it gives me huge pleasure and helps me think. It does!

. . . the quote below - this describes me completely.

A couple of years ago my sister Judy and I were each given a box of truffles. The tiny print said two pieces contained 310 calories and there were six pieces in each box. We were sitting on the bus headed downtown, quietly doing our calculations: Judy was dividing by two and I was multiplying by three. When she realized what I was doing, a look came over her face that is hard to describe. "I lost all hope for you" she says now.
~Abigail Thomas, Thinking About Memoir

Baby, It's Hot Outside

What dreadful hot weather we have! It keeps me in a continual state of inelegance.
~ Jane Austen

It was so hot today the National Weather Service issued a fat-guy-in-tank-top warning.
~ Unknown

It's spring fever! That is what the name of it is. And when you've got it, you want - oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!
~ Mark Twain

If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?
~ Unknown

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I haven't talked about it much, but it's been damn weird here in Minnesota.

No snow (nearly so) all winter. Not cold all winter. Now it's been in the 80s.

My poor body doesn't know what to do. I'm hot. Hot. Not that kind of hot (well, maybe the random comment from time to time - I don't take them personally), but hot.

At work I'm BEGGING the cold-hearted and cold-blooded girls to please turn the temps down. Don't they have any heat inside of them?

Sleeping up in the loft is killing me I'm so hot. Pup still wants his bed heater on. I'm exaggerating a little, but not much.

I keep thinking I'm having an endless hot flash, and then I remember. When I was in my 20s and 30s I was hot ALL THE TIME. Could it be I have finally, after months of working with my patient, kind, and puzzled compounding pharmacist, could it be that I've reached a level of balance with my hormones? And this is how I'm supposed to be?

I better figure out what to do with my hair! I'm hot!

What's it like where y'all are?

Make It, Don't Break It

If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.
~ Yogi Berra

Don’t wish it was easier, wish you were better. Don’t wish for less problems, wish for more skills. Don’t wish for less challenges, wish for more wisdom.
~ Jim Rohn

You can have everything in life you want if you will just help enough people get what they want.
~ Zig Ziglar

You don’t have to be great to get started, but you have to get started to be great.
~ Les Brown

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
~ Author Unknown

Keep your face to the sun, and you will never see the shadows.
~ Helen Keller

Happiness is a habit – cultivate it.
~ Elbert Hubbard

We are one week into the new year. How are you meeting your goals? Do you have an action plan? Do you have motivation enough? Are you keeping your momentum?

Goals are the mitigating factor in all success. I want to keep the goal ahead in my windshield and the obstacles behind me in the rear-view mirror.