Ring Around the Rosey - We All Fall Up

Fall has always felt more like the beginning of the year for me. With fall fashion for us to check out and the fall organizing and buttoning up of all things summer it seems like a great place to begin a new thought.

Years and years ago I had a thread on a forum-type place (I got kicked off! ha! So did my friend T! I don't know what we did - something horrible! No we didn't, but we did get kicked off.) named Wrecking Ball. But now that term has been overtaken by a young 'un singer so I need a new phrase - hmm . . . My youngest daughter mentioned a few months ago in passing that she was having the Year of Lorenzo. I like that. I kept saying a year ago that it was my Last Good Summer because the following summer I was turning a certain age, ahem, and life as I know it would be over. Of course it isn't, but I am dramatic. Life isn't. IT ISN'T!

Maybe "They're All Good Summers" or "I'm Forever in Summer" or "Summer is my Middle Name." How about "Forever Fall?"

I'll think a minute longer.

I like beginnings. The thinking, the plotting, the progress charting, the checklists.

Time to turn on the fireplace. Time to make stew. Time to organize our office. Time to bring the kitties home from the lake. Time to begin.

Squeeky in love

Me in love

Love in space

Puppers love

Mood

I've been in one. Maybe for 15 years! It's not a bad mood, yet it's not sugary, sweet goodness if you get me. I know you get me.

I'm in love with living and wish that along with that I'd GET what is and what cannot be. I'm annoyed half of the day and ecstatic the other half. I see things with great clarity, yet cannot put into words clearly what I need to say.

Crap!

I must be a woman.

Snarky and snarked upon. Obsessed and obsessive.

Oh to say what I mean and mean what I say - without second guessing myself! My poor husband! He's the one that hears the aftermath. I love him! Just yesterday as we were getting ready for a family party, he had offered to vacuum if I'd go with him for pedicures. Yes, that man adores getting peds! And it was wonderful. Relaxing. And now I have cute feet. Plus +

His vacuuming left something to be desired. And even though my house never looks perfect, all I saw were the flaws when he was finished. Woe is me! I am a snark-monster. Keep working on that girl! I am waiting for this revelation that comes with age, but it's not happening! Ha and ha! I am laughing here because I have such clarity after the fact. And blurt in the moment.

Blurting just may be the thing that murders me in the end. I'll blurt to the wrong person in traffic or on the phone or at the grocery store and BAM! You'll read about me in the newspapers. A random act of violence. Only me and the killer will know the truth.

What a rambling going on here! We have a few things happening as everyone does at times and we've gotten good news, waiting for good news, and longing for the good news.

Meanwhile, this happened not long ago -

My beautiful daughter married her much-loved-by-all-who-meets-him man. In Mexico. On the beach. It was perfection and maybe the best time we've had since my first daughter got married six years ago. Now I have two sons along with two daughters.

Congratulations Lorenzo and Randalian!

Today Was Made for Frosting

Unexpected day with no agenda. Normally a go-to-The-Firm-day, but Pup said a power supply died and we had inexplicably bought computers that have special-order parts so I have no computer at The Firm.

I'm not mad about it.

I have a list in front of me with things that seem to never get done during the week. We'll see how I do today!

It's sleeting outside.

The sun was out yesterday. When it is out we all find happiness simply looking out windows. Spud was here for a short bit yesterday (he was here for a few hours, but slept most of it!) and he and I spent a chunk of time in his room where we lifted the blind so he could look outside and enjoy looking at everything with a bright light. He loves looking out windows! I know he doesn't really understand why we are stuck in the house for the most part.

With that in mind Bella and I took him to the Como Park Conservatory on Sunday. It's a great place to poke about and smell humid air, look at beautiful flowers, listen to water features, and just get away from all the brown and gloomy that is outside right now.

So fun going with Bella and Spud.

Those are little skulls on his t-shirt. Swoon!

That was a remember-it-forever kind of day.

Smooches my hooches.

How You Sayin' Hello?

I was thinking this morning about a story an old friend told me a while ago about a time when she, along with her husband, visited her brother and his wife. I do know she has a difficult relationship with this particular brother, but the story struck me at the time.

They arrived at her brother's busy house. If memory serves (mine doesn't always serve the most nutritious stuff, but I'll try) her brother had a set of twin teenagers at the time and maybe another child? Busy and energetic house as I'm imagining. The part of the story I do remember her telling me is after arriving at her brother's house, she and her husband took themselves into the living room even though her brother and his family were hanging out in the kitchen/family room area.

I couldn't figure that part out, but she was really angry about this. Angry that her brother left her husband and herself in the living room alone. I didn't say anything, but my mind was screaming, "Why? Why weren't you in the kitchen with the rest of the family?"

Looking back, I believe she wanted to be angry with her brother. Given their tenuous relationship I can only imagine why the brother left the two of them in the living room. I imagined the house as large and noisy and energetic and the place to hang out would have been in the family room with the rest of the family. I still puzzle on this one.

At the recent Pup Family Christmas that we co-hosted I had a few family members say, "Edith was here all day and never said a word to me." "Arthur sat there and never spoke to me."

When I hear others say this, I realize how idiotic it sounds. Because, yes, I've said those words as well. "They never talked to me all day." Which means I didn't talk to them. But I don't think any of us see it that way in the moment.

We sit in our seclusion, waiting for someone else to make the first move. Which isn't going to work in a family or situation where the others are waiting for the first move to come from you.

With the Pup Family, when first introduced so many years ago, the family dynamic was to not speak to the new person, which happened to be me. They are a more inclusive and perhaps shy bunch at the outset. And myself, as the new person, spring boarded off of this and I became the one who did not speak first. Probably because deep in me is that watch-and-wait thing that feeds into a bit of my introversion.

Of course, all these years later, I know some of them very well, some not so well, and some not at all. That's how it is sometimes yes? But it is never fair of me to say about anyone, "He didn't talk to me. I sat here all day and he didn't talk to me." Make the effort, silly! You'll soon find out if they want to speak to you or not.

I do love how no matter what your age, if your mind is open you can make changes. But only to yourself as I have to remind MYSELF constantly. Being loud and stubborn isn't going to make a heap of difference to anyone else.

If not, you'll find yourself sitting in the living room all alone while everyone else is in the family room having the best time.

Safe in my Lilith Fair Care

Remember Lilith Fair?

I heard Sarah McLachlan tried to revive it a few years back and it failed. The thought made me sad. I still love listening to Sarah even though one of her songs is overplayed on a pet rescue commercial. I've seen her in concert several times and I've always found her music lovely and poignant.

The festival took place only three years. 1997, 1998, and 1999. My Bella went with a group of girls and some mothers in 97 and Bella, Lorenzo, and I went with a couple of other mothers and their daughters along with a few of their friends in 98 and 99.

It was an enjoyable festival! All that good music in one place always makes me happy. And taking your daughters for an event as this was bonding and memorable.

I remember the festivals as mostly just that. Lots of mothers with their daughters, lots of young women, lots of lesbians, and a few dazed and confused men wandering around wondering why this wasn't working out as an opportunity for them. Those guys made me laugh always the hardest.

At that time in our lives, the girls and I lived with their daddy in a small town so I clearly remember them experiencing an alternative type of lifestyle they hadn't seen before. That was good as well. Believe me, I worried a bit during their young years that we were doing them a disservice living in such a rather sheltered place. I shouldn't have worried - they both moved on to be very enlightened young women in spite of that. Hooray for education.

Although maybe there was a bit too much enlightenment on one of the trips.

We had decided as a group to stay overnight close to the festival so we could get a jump in the morning staking out a good spot to enjoy the music.

We were checked into a chain hotel where we ate dinner, split up into three rooms with one mom in each room.

I remember the hotel having decks that opened out onto an atrium where there was an indoor pool and lounge chairs in this huge space. We had fed the girls, told them to put on their suits, and enjoy the pool as the other two moms and I (one was my very best friend Reechie and the other her sister) pulled out our adult beverages and relaxed in the lounge chairs to watch the girls swimming.

We were talking, drinking, and giggling for quite a while and as the three of us loved to do, talking up a storm. I can yak and somehow always find myself with women of this same love. Quel surprise!

I was gazing over at the swimming pool and glanced up at one of the many TV screens they had placed all around the atrium. Because for goodness sakes, obviously we cannot just entertain ourselves without TV yes? Don't get me started on that.

So . . . I glanced up at one of the screens that were showing the same thing on all of the screens and I thought to myself, "Is that a breast I just saw?"

Oh dear.

I keep watching.

Yes, that is a breast. And a naked butt of a well-built man. Oh - there's another butt. And some more breasts.

It finally dawns on me with a thud that somehow, the channel has been changed to one of those soft-porn stations and this is showing all over the atrium probably 30+ times over.

I jump up with my unsteady legs and hightail it down the long hall in my wedge sandals to quickly let the front desk know what is going on in the atrium.

I can hear my two fellow mommas laughing uproariously!

All I can think of is that a couple of other mommas trusted me with their precious daughters and I'm letting them watch porn!

Lorenzo and Bella bottom right

Oh.my.god.

I wobble back to our chairs, sit down, take a long pull from my margarita, and say, "We shall never speak of this." Which, of course, was a huge lie. I've spoken of it a million times.

Grande surprise.

The First Haircut

Spud was born with an inordinate amount of hair. Rather thick for a brand new baby. Oh - I think they're called "newborns".

:)

It didn't fall out like some newborn hair does. Some got rubbed off in the back when he was tiny tiny from all the back-positioning that happens with babies now.

But the first hair he was born with has stayed.

Bella and he participated in a series of University of Minnesota studies and for one of them she had to give them a lock of Spud's hair and (I think) nail clippings. So they could measure . . . measure . . . oh I forget what they were going to measure. Great fun though. Geekness runs deep in this family and this kind of stuff outweighs just about everything else. Yes!

When Bella mentioned that she and The Big B were going to take Spud for his first haircut I begged to be an annoying part with my camera. All in I think I took 81 shots. Hoooya!

Which I was. Annoying that is.

Before

During

After

Now he looks like a little man. My adorable little potato.

Hang on all my hooches. Fall is approaching - can you feel it? I will be so sorry to let go of this perfect summer.

How you doin'?

When I Look at You

We went camping with the young uns last summer.

When I was dating my wasband we discovered, through a friend, a place deep in some acreage owned by a paper mill. You couldn't have stumbled on it if you were trying. We're talking deep, deep in the woods. On a little, charming river.

I was probably 20 or 21 the first time I went up there. We had a large group of friends and we all settled into yearly trips up to this magical place. Three to four times a year minimally.

Wasband and I started out in a small tent, then graduated to a camper that sits in a truck bed. Oh the luxury of a real bed! And a sink to do dishes in. And a stove. But I digress.

We would bring all of our toys up there because there are literally miles and miles of trails and seldom-used roads for dirt biking, dune buggies, and 4-wheelers. I was the only girl that had a dirt bike, but I was so horrible at it that I rarely went out with the boys. Instead, I would putt around the trails on my own and had such a blast I can't even tell you. I loved my version of dirt biking. Once in a rare while the boys would take pity on my and let me ride along. I'd struggle to keep up and I remember one of our friends, Jeff, would always make sure I was in sight.

Wasband also had a dune buggy he had made out of a Ford Lincoln chassis (I think it was a Ford Lincoln - it was from a huge car anyway) and we would pile on that and race around wreaking havoc and sprinkling fun-dust all over that place. For miles and miles.

We were very young and very much the partiers as some 20-somethings are. Lots of laughing, drinking, and just general shenanigans as you can imagine.

The group began aging. Wasband and I got married, then got pregnant. I remember hopping in and out of the truck camper with my 8-month belly. You just figure out a way to do the things you need to do somehow. I would sit in one of those tri-fold chairs with the foot part elevated a bit so I could rest my swollen ankles and somehow squeezed my large belly into that small over-the-cab bed.

The next year we had a nine-month old baby to bring with us. We have photos of Bella sitting in a playpen with a little visor on her head. Looking at us with her old-soul eyes. We would throw her into the overhead bed and board her in so she couldn't roll out of the bed in her sleep.

She would peek out of the small window and watch us at the campfire while we were talking, drinking, laughing. We would see her little face and say, "Sleepy-byes Bella! Go sleepy-byes!" Her little head would disappear, but I'd soon spot it again. She would eventually fall asleep listening to our silliness.

We kept camping. Lorenzo was born into the same deal. Eventually we bought a large, old, Winnebago and squeezed that thing down the winding, never-ending trail that led to our campsite.

We would take family trips there. I vividly remember once camping with all of our friends and then we stayed on for another week or so and camped just the four of us. Lorenzo was so little that she was still running around with a pacifier, lovingly called her "fire" by her adorable self, and a bonnet on her head.

I don't know why, but the chipmunks loved her pacifiers and if we left one out on the table when we went to bed they would scamper onto the table and STEAL them! Lorenzo would bellow in the morning, "Meemunks took my fire!! Momma! Meemunks took my fire!" I can see her little body running around the campsite shaking her finger. I still wonder why those damn chipmunks were so in love with Lorenzo's pacifiers!? So funny to think about. Tears are squirting out of my eyes just a little bit right now just having this memory.

Family camping. We never could quite afford Disney World or flying anywhere for that matter, but family camping was the highlight of every summer for us as a young family.

What could have been better?

Apologies - all photos were taken from prints that I shot with my camera. No scanner.  :(

If You Like It Then You Better Put a Ring on It

Ha! Haha is what I say!

There; I had to get that out. Like stretching, laughing is purifying yes?

Today is the 15th of July. That frightens me. Summer is scooching by with an alarming speed. I'm love love loving this summer. We've only had our central air on twice or so. Emoji for happiness! Lots of rain which has made a very lush lawn, but has caused lots of flooding all over. It's never perfect as we know. Mother Nature just can't be equitable. She's over here; she's over there. She is random in her gifts and random in her penalties. I do love her. She's a woman. Never be too predictable.

We recently went to Vegas for a family trip to celebrate my birthday and me and Pup's fifth anniversary. Pup, me, Lorenzo, Rand-Man (I hope this is my final alliteration of the boy's name), and Bella. Bella's husband, B, stayed home with Spud, but we missed him.

Five years? I've joked for a few years how we are newlyweds. I guess I'll have to put that joke to bed. Five years is a chunk of time! We had gotten married in Vegas so we always said we would return to the scene of the crime for our fifth.

Pup and I had taken an earlier flight on a Thursday and the kidlettes were arriving that evening. While we were hanging about watching the soccer match in the sports book when Pup's phone rang.

It was Rand-Man asking Pup a question. Would we mind, since it was our vacation to celebrate, would we mind if he asked Lorenzo to marry him while in Vegas? He had a ring in his pocket that was quite literally (I know that isn't correct) burning a hole in his pocket.

Would we mind???

My squeals were loud and maybe just a little bourbon infused. Pup and I giggled the rest of the day.

We were sworn to silence. We can keep a secret if we have to. Pup especially is very good at it. He does have five sisters after all. He is the sister-whisperer and can keep a secret like no other. Even from me at times.

It was hard to zip it with the kidlettes once they arrived! Our happiness was concealed by the fact that, yes, we were entirely happy to see all of them. But now came the hard part. We had to wait for Randy to decide when the right time was to spring it on Lorenzo.

The following day we were hanging out in the pool, having a laughing and talking and lounging and drinking time. Oh so fun. Towards the later afternoon Rand-Man asked Lorenzo to go up to the room for a bit. She wriggled her eyebrows in a teasing fashion and we all said, "oooooh??" So classy.

Later, Bella, Pup, and I were in our suite and the knock came on the door and they swooped in to tell us the news. Much crying and looking at the ring and more crying. Such happiness.

I won't give all of his proposal speech here, but one part that touched me (out of plenty of parts let me tell you) he said that she was already family to him and would she become family for real. He is a very family-oriented man. We do love him. And now he is part of our family

The gifts in my life just keep coming.

Hell the Hello!

Yesterday was Pup's birthday.

We celebrated with Lorenzo and RM at one of Pup's favorite places. Can we all guess what kind of meat was involved? Oh yes, steak!

The most fun for me is just hanging out with my kids. I'm really turning into such a water-logged kind of woman. Disgusting!  :)

Love is a weird thing.

It hits me at times when I'm not expecting it. And it would be hard to explain to young 20-somethings. They just don't know. That's okay, I once didn't know. I thought I did, but I didn't.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here's what I'm thinking about lately. Lara Antipova. I always wanted to look like Lara Antipova. Her long skirts, cozy sweaters, fur, fantastic face, and tragic loving.

I hear snow is coming. I'll have to (finally) put away my flats and pull on those boots. I think I'm the only one in Minnesota who hasn't worn boots yet this year. I just couldn't do it.

But it will be fun once it does start!

Get out there and squeeze the water from those damn logs my peeps.

Shower Her with Love

Bella and her Grandma

My daughter, Lorenzo, and I hosted a baby shower for the Baby-Doll at my house last weekend. Barnabee jetted off back home on Thursday (her son came to Minnesota to accompany them on the plane - so nice!) and I have talked to my dad a time or two since they arrived home. He sounds so tired. Now that he's back home I am trying to not worry about what is going to happen next. I have no control over that so . . . so . . . I don't know what! I'll think about that later Miss Scarlett.

So the Baby-Doll shower. Thursday evening, after Pup and I drove Barnabee to the airport where I nearly lost their luggage, (that's another story for another day) Lorenzo and I braved the huge and efficient Costco and Party City for shower food and fun.

Friday evening Bella came over to help me clean Chez Emerson (lovely girls I have) and watching her work around her growing belly just fills my heart with unbelievable joy. I am seriously in love with this baby. It's a little scary. I'm going to relish being a Gigi. Whoooha! Love love love - all you need is love.

On Saturday morning Lorenzo and Bella came early to help set up. Lorenzo came bearing little naked-baby ice cubes (omg - so adorable we were dying), makings for mimosas, and a million other things. (I could tell the story of the adorable RM - Lorenzo's boy - having to come not once, but twice to our house bringing things forgotten, but let's leave it that he's an amazing man and good in a pinch. You have to love a man that will be there for you even though he'd rather not. Smooches to RM)

Lorenzo is a very linear thinker. Thank god. I'm a very randomized thinker. Thank god again. Bella is very diplomatic. God is good to me.

Between all of us things got done although at one point while I was hunting down tiny scissors for a shower project I heard Lorenzo exclaim, "Where is she now??" I have always wished my brain worked in a predictable way, but it doesn't. I weave and bob rather than march along. Very, very easily distracted. I think this feeds my creativity. I like this explanation much more than any other that could explain my brain. Ha! I am laughing! Thank you God, yet again.

The shower invitees were my family, Bella's in-laws, my wasband's family including his wife, Pup's family, all my friends that have known Bella - new and old. Yes, we did it all in a swoop. My longtime and lovely friend Reechie thought me insane. I told her, "It will work. It will." And it did.

I didn't get a photo of it, but at one point, both of my mother-in-laws were sitting in a large chair together and I couldn't resist saying, "Both of my momma-in-laws are here!" If this makes anyone uncomfortable I'm sorry. The two of them looked happy. I hope they were.

And even though I did shush one of my sister-in-laws (oh I am such a pain in the ass) the afternoon went well. Bella received lots of lovely things for the Baby-Doll, we ate really good, and it was fun to see people that I haven't seen in ages.

Only one person from my family came and that was a wonderful surprise for all of us. My lovely, lovely niece (my brother's daughter) and her two gorgeous and energetic daughters. That meant a lot to Bella and to me that she came. It couldn't have been comfortable for her and I love it that she put that aside.

After the shower, my friends Deb-oh-rah, Shelley-belly, Teri (Bella's godmother), and wasband's wife stayed along with both of my girls. We sat in the living room talking like girls talk and the laughing and stories were endless entertainment for Pup who pretended to hide in the office "working".

We suddenly looked up and saw that it was 10:30! The shower had started at 2:00. I got a note from Teri a day or two later stating that it was not only the most fun shower she has ever attended, but the longest as well. Ha!

I am blessed.

Tears Dry on Their Own

He had fur just like a dandelion. 

Oh my blog! My sweet, cathartic, ridiculous blog.

I feel the need to get thoughts out, yet am hesitant to do so. Do you ever wonder if the need to keep things "close to the vest" is more than simple self-protection, but a deeper denial than we could imagine?

I've been working on self-awareness. At times I even doubt if I fully understand what that could mean. I do feel that I self-catastrophize and blame myself for things that are not my fault. I have a hard time not believing I'm to blame for all things which, perversely, is rather boastful of me. Who the hell am I to believe that I am the arbiter of all that is bad for the cryin' out loud? Hmm?   :)

Do I know why? I don't. I work on myself. I'm still in the oven baking apparently. That's okay. At least I'm changing. Ha!

My dad had a smallish stroke a week ago. I say smallish only because he has minimal residual damage. Some speech impairment and a bit of weakness on his right side. I know it does not seem smallish to him. The instant loss of independence is hard on him and I also know while the brain is healing from such a bad thing he is reeling emotionally.

My dad lives in Idaho with his 2nd wife. We, his family, live in Minnesota. He and Momma Bee had been at the Mayo Clinic for Bee's follow-up surgery for an issue she was having last summer and fall. They had driven from their Idaho home to Rochester and Bee's daughter had flown here to be with her momma during the surgery.

It went well, she was recuperating at her brother's house, Barnabee (a moniker my sweet Pup dealt to them - Barney and Bee) had decided to head for home. The early morning before they were set to leave my dad had his stroke.

Now starts the rollercoaster.

It's emotional to see my dad going through this thing.

He remarried and moved to Idaho with his wife back in 2005 a few months after my momma died.

This was a hard thing for us. For me. My mom was gone after a long illness, then my dad uprooted and moved a long distance away. We were supportive because why should my dad be alone? He would have been miserable.

The hard thing has always been that suddenly he was gone. He has new step-children he loves, a new life. I am happy for him, yet, selfishly, sad for me that he isn't here in Minnesota with us.

So my dad has lived in Idaho for nearly eight years.

Pup and I went to visit them a couple of years ago and frankly it was somewhere I'm not in a fast hurry to get back to.

They live a nice, quiet life in Bee's house with one of her sons right next door which is lovely and perfect. I'm more a city girl (obviously) and sitting in the quiet life for several days watching The History Channel was enough for me.

You all know I'm teasing here. It was great to see Barnabee and a few quiet days spent to visit with my dad was okay by me.

They live near a town that is bigger and I do think it could be fun to check that out when I get back there.

But, let's get back to the now of it as I am distracting myself. It's a gift peeps!

When my dad was released from the hospital I said they needed to come home with us until we figured out what was what.

Three visits to the emergency room, one by ambulance ride, and six days later, we now see that our little house with its one bathroom and very small den/guestroom is woefully inadequate for the care and feeding of two elderly patients.

I love my dad.

I haven’t spent much time with him in the past nine years mostly because of where they live. He has gotten older. I have gotten older. Hook this onto the fact that I am not his favorite child and hook this onto the fact that he is going through way more than I can realize in the aftermath of a stroke and trying to heal along with his wife who is recovering from a fairly major surgery.

Whew

I am bone tired. They have been with us for these six days and there is little time in the day that I’m not seeing to their needs. And that is good. I’m surprised, but not of a complaining mind.

What am I saying?

I’m nervous today. Nervous because my brother who doesn’t speak to me is coming with my sister to see Dad.

I said to Pup, “I can make myself scarce so they aren’t uncomfortable.”

“Don’t you dare,” said my sweet husband. “Don’t you dare – this is your house. They can fuck themselves.”

He loves me and I think he is going on a protective binge which makes me want to squeeze him, the sweet thing. He has watched me cry and knows that all of this is hard. I am trying to keep myself calm. I will be calm.

I need to discover and annihilate what it is that keeps me scared about this stupid situation. What am I scared of? I think I’m scared of me.

Keep the peace hooches. I am hiding in my head today until I have to reveal. Wish me luck!

Tequila and Love

We've been  home from our family vacation for a few weeks now.

Daisies!

Sitting area in our lovely room. 

Important poolside reading. 

Views from room. 

Lobby

Pup got us the most beautiful room we've ever had. We were directly on the beach and were right above the little pergola where people were married every day. About five weddings on the beach every day we were there. I'm kinda estimating. There was a gorgeous setting off of the lobby where ceremonies were held as well.

The week was full of the usual shenanigans that accompany being away from home with endless amounts of free alcohol at your disposal. I won't mention any names, but one of us (could have been me) drank too much during the day at the pool and when she went back to her large and lovely room she swayed and tilted a bit in the shower wondering to herself, "Am I going to do the Mexico in Mexico?" Code for unbecoming behavior. She recovered enough to go to dinner with no ill effects. Score! Ha!

Hanging out with our kids was the best ever. We got to know the boys so much better. I'm in love with everyone in our family. We are so charming!

The boys, and sometimes the girls, played catch in the pool, we floated in the pool, we sunned ourselves like turtles by the pool.

We would get gussied up and go to dinner every night. We walked along the beach in the gorgeous dark, we did shots at the outdoor disco-like area. Even Pup did a shot or two. We laughed.

Our little grandbaby, safe in his momma (yes, it's a boy!) had a fantastic time as well. I hope Bella didn't find the rest of us too obnoxious. I'm certain she did a little bit.

When can I go back?

Yesterday Was Momma's Day

My Momma's Day present. I love anything in threes. As I said yesterday when given this beautiful necklace, "My family is much bigger than three, but two perfect girls came from me and that makes three." I might be mangling that exact memory, but this is what I meant. We are three women. Once they were two babies. This isn't better than that, but I sure love this. Love them. Hard. I love them hard.

When I was a young momma and my girls were small, the most wonderful gift I could imagine for momma's day would have been a day away from their wonderful little selves. Only because I was a stay at home momma for many years and it just always sounded heavenly. A day or two away, all alone, with a pile of books, and no agenda.

Now, the best momma's day is spending time with them. And their boys. I just love them so much! Sheesh I'm annoying today!

So - great momma's day. We grilled even though it was a bit brisk outside. Which meant we hung inside instead of out with my new deck furniture. That's okay. Summer is coming. It really is.

This week we all are preparing to go on vacation together. All six of us. Pup, me, Bella, her Big B, Lorenzo, and her RM. I need to settle on RM's nickname! I've had BT and now RM - decide!

Mexico is calling our name.

DietBet

I'm participating in a challenge through my Fitfluential group. Since all of us resolutioners are resolutioning it seemed like a way to jumpstart.

Our challenge is we bet $25 dollars we can lose 4 percent of our bodyweight by a goal date. The winners split the pot.

Why not? I'd waste $25 willy nilly here and there so why not on this? Me?

Check DietBet out and start your own challenge!

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I was wandering around yesterday looking for inspiration and found a post by a very motivated guy that talked about blogs that start out hot and heavy and then limp off into . . . I don't know where they go! They just disappear.

Yup.

Gah and oh oh.

I'm allowing January to kick my butt. I'd rather kick it's dark, dreary, cold ass.

Okay.

We went to dinner with daughter Lorenzo the other evening and she was sharing how a friend of hers is going for her training certificate (I think?? Something like this.) and is training Lorenzo and one of Lorenzo's friends. Working them to death. It sounds good!

My friend and fellow blogger tPretty (love you T) has always been the gold-standard for fitness. She puts the rubber on the road always and if she lived by me I would be begging her on a daily basis to train me.

I have another friend that is training for half marathons and mentioned how addicted he has become to running.

This sounds good to me as well. Not becoming addicted to running because that is not my thing, but becoming addicted to fitness and nutrition and bombing the blues.

Bombing the Blues.

9.15.12

Saturday

1. Start day with coffee, Stevia, and heavy cream. I am contemplating the rest of the day. Of course I am not prepared. Wouldn't you all be disappointed if I were all prepared? Who likes a smart-ass? Why I do!
2. I worked five hours at The Turnstyle today. I looked up "standing" in my fitness calculator and was a bit shocked how many calories standing for hours can burn. Very interesting.
3. I don't like to eat while at work so when I leave I am starving. Muy estúpido. 
4. Pup and I go to a movie. I was excited to see it. It blew. Ate popcorn. Yum!
5. I fall into bed and sleep a long time. Well, for me a long time. It was restless, but sleep. I'll take it!

I had a bit of pasta to wear off from Friday evening's family night at Buca di Beppo. We were celebrating our beautiful, smart, and accomplished Bella's 30th birthday. How on earth!!! Second celebration of that birthday in the same week. Score!

I very rarely eat pasta because it is one of those things I cannot eat enough of when I'm eating it. But I ate some last night and enjoyed every bite. And didn't do too horribly. There was also a wonderful eggplant strata that I had my fair share of. Nummy!

It was an evening of delicious red wine and all of Sarah Bella's parental units. I am proud to say that her daddy (my wasband), his wife, the Big B's parents, Pup, and I were all in attendance. And, of course, Lorenzo (Lorenzo's man, BT, was unable to attend).

I am really a lucky and happy woman that I get along with my ex, can chat away with his wife with no weirdness, and even give said wasband major shit about this or that. I kinda love it. This is the new normal; for us anyway. I could see how happy it made Bella and for that my heart swells with everything good.