Ring Around the Rosey - We All Fall Up

Fall has always felt more like the beginning of the year for me. With fall fashion for us to check out and the fall organizing and buttoning up of all things summer it seems like a great place to begin a new thought.

Years and years ago I had a thread on a forum-type place (I got kicked off! ha! So did my friend T! I don't know what we did - something horrible! No we didn't, but we did get kicked off.) named Wrecking Ball. But now that term has been overtaken by a young 'un singer so I need a new phrase - hmm . . . My youngest daughter mentioned a few months ago in passing that she was having the Year of Lorenzo. I like that. I kept saying a year ago that it was my Last Good Summer because the following summer I was turning a certain age, ahem, and life as I know it would be over. Of course it isn't, but I am dramatic. Life isn't. IT ISN'T!

Maybe "They're All Good Summers" or "I'm Forever in Summer" or "Summer is my Middle Name." How about "Forever Fall?"

I'll think a minute longer.

I like beginnings. The thinking, the plotting, the progress charting, the checklists.

Time to turn on the fireplace. Time to make stew. Time to organize our office. Time to bring the kitties home from the lake. Time to begin.

Squeeky in love

Me in love

Love in space

Puppers love

The End of an Era - Stolen from Kirky

My yapping sure ended abruptly! I'll have to add a couple of penance-posts because of my lack.

I'm not sure what the heck is going on with me, but I have the start of what just may be, perhaps, my fourth cold in as many months. Gah and ahhh!

But that's not the reasons for my disappearment.

Pup has sold the house that his parents owned since 1960 or so. 55 years! Pup lived in that house only as a child growing up. I'd have to sit and do the math for the many places I lived in as a child.

Pup and I nearly bought it as investment property, but in the end we sold it to a client of ours. He's a money guy and real estate is his thing. He owns many properties around the Twin Cities and either rents the properties or flips. This house he's going to flip.

He works with partners and sent a couple of them out to inspect the house and the offer was proffered, bartered, and accepted. His thing is the money - not the design of the place. His partners evaluate the space, come up with a budget for the updating, and Dan then does his math to discern if this is a win-situation or a skip-it situation.

I love Client-Dan. He and I have had a couple of meetings in my tiny office and I can tell he and his wife would be fun to hang with. Talented, aggressive, fun-loving, and smart as HELL! I get a mind-boner from smart people.

Client-Dan has never even laid eyes on the house. Isn't that crazy?

I don't know his process exactly, but since this is a client I'm thinking he will let me in over there to document a bit for Pup. I'll be curious to see what they'll be doing to modernize the space. It's a modest rambler, but has great bones. Hardwood throughout, potentially three-plus bedrooms, basement has high ceilings, and several years ago all the mechanics were updated - roof, furnace, windows, siding. It will be lovely when complete!

Pup has seven brothers and sisters so there was a good-sized crowd yesterday to empty the house. We had a HUGE dumpster in the driveway, a plan for a local charity to pick up donatable stuff, and a Uhaul to move the one brother that was still living in the house. Pup being the coordinator for all of this. My Pup is the youngest boy, but a rock with this type of stuff. And it's tax season people!

We had moved Momma Betty out of the house two years ago into a lovely apartment in a senior living complex. She kinda went kickin' and screamin' as normal, but now rather loves her new home in her same neighborhood. And even though she is the most introverted introvert I've met she has made a couple of friends and she spends a portion of each day kikiing like the senior-set sometimes likes to do.

Pup and I had toured through the house a week or so ago and had thought it would take two days to empty because 55 years! That's a lot of stuff.

We had the lion's share completed by noon! Teamwork really does make the dream work.

It was an emotional day for several of of the family. It was very emotional for Pup.

He and I took the family kitchen table. A very very old (I couldn't make out any markings on the fly, but will check again), solid, round, oak, pedestal table that has four chairs from the 80s with it. Perfect! We're buying a cabin after tax season is over and we thought it would be perfect to sit at his family table playing games like he did as a child and young adult.

I packed up and cleared out all the kitchen cupboards. As I was working I was thinking about Momma in that kitchen doing her kitcheny thing and wondering what thoughts she had as a momma for her children. What thoughts did she have for herself? What were her passions and how did she want to change the world.

We might not think it, but I believe all of us want to change the world in our way. We might not even know that's what we're thinking, but our scent is left with everything we do.

As I worked I thought about what my children would think of me in a similar scenario. Would they shake their heads at choices I had obviously made? What scent would I leave?

I'm hoping cinnamon. That's a lovely scent and has the promise of a baked good.

How you superbowling?

How You Sayin' Hello?

I was thinking this morning about a story an old friend told me a while ago about a time when she, along with her husband, visited her brother and his wife. I do know she has a difficult relationship with this particular brother, but the story struck me at the time.

They arrived at her brother's busy house. If memory serves (mine doesn't always serve the most nutritious stuff, but I'll try) her brother had a set of twin teenagers at the time and maybe another child? Busy and energetic house as I'm imagining. The part of the story I do remember her telling me is after arriving at her brother's house, she and her husband took themselves into the living room even though her brother and his family were hanging out in the kitchen/family room area.

I couldn't figure that part out, but she was really angry about this. Angry that her brother left her husband and herself in the living room alone. I didn't say anything, but my mind was screaming, "Why? Why weren't you in the kitchen with the rest of the family?"

Looking back, I believe she wanted to be angry with her brother. Given their tenuous relationship I can only imagine why the brother left the two of them in the living room. I imagined the house as large and noisy and energetic and the place to hang out would have been in the family room with the rest of the family. I still puzzle on this one.

At the recent Pup Family Christmas that we co-hosted I had a few family members say, "Edith was here all day and never said a word to me." "Arthur sat there and never spoke to me."

When I hear others say this, I realize how idiotic it sounds. Because, yes, I've said those words as well. "They never talked to me all day." Which means I didn't talk to them. But I don't think any of us see it that way in the moment.

We sit in our seclusion, waiting for someone else to make the first move. Which isn't going to work in a family or situation where the others are waiting for the first move to come from you.

With the Pup Family, when first introduced so many years ago, the family dynamic was to not speak to the new person, which happened to be me. They are a more inclusive and perhaps shy bunch at the outset. And myself, as the new person, spring boarded off of this and I became the one who did not speak first. Probably because deep in me is that watch-and-wait thing that feeds into a bit of my introversion.

Of course, all these years later, I know some of them very well, some not so well, and some not at all. That's how it is sometimes yes? But it is never fair of me to say about anyone, "He didn't talk to me. I sat here all day and he didn't talk to me." Make the effort, silly! You'll soon find out if they want to speak to you or not.

I do love how no matter what your age, if your mind is open you can make changes. But only to yourself as I have to remind MYSELF constantly. Being loud and stubborn isn't going to make a heap of difference to anyone else.

If not, you'll find yourself sitting in the living room all alone while everyone else is in the family room having the best time.

Christmastime Quote

  Christmas Gift Suggestions

• To your enemy, forgiveness. 
• To an opponent, tolerance. 
• To a friend, your heart. 
• To a customer, service. 
• To all, charity. 
• To every child, a good example. 
• To yourself, respect.

~Oren Arnold, Author

If You Like It Then You Better Put a Ring on It

Ha! Haha is what I say!

There; I had to get that out. Like stretching, laughing is purifying yes?

Today is the 15th of July. That frightens me. Summer is scooching by with an alarming speed. I'm love love loving this summer. We've only had our central air on twice or so. Emoji for happiness! Lots of rain which has made a very lush lawn, but has caused lots of flooding all over. It's never perfect as we know. Mother Nature just can't be equitable. She's over here; she's over there. She is random in her gifts and random in her penalties. I do love her. She's a woman. Never be too predictable.

We recently went to Vegas for a family trip to celebrate my birthday and me and Pup's fifth anniversary. Pup, me, Lorenzo, Rand-Man (I hope this is my final alliteration of the boy's name), and Bella. Bella's husband, B, stayed home with Spud, but we missed him.

Five years? I've joked for a few years how we are newlyweds. I guess I'll have to put that joke to bed. Five years is a chunk of time! We had gotten married in Vegas so we always said we would return to the scene of the crime for our fifth.

Pup and I had taken an earlier flight on a Thursday and the kidlettes were arriving that evening. While we were hanging about watching the soccer match in the sports book when Pup's phone rang.

It was Rand-Man asking Pup a question. Would we mind, since it was our vacation to celebrate, would we mind if he asked Lorenzo to marry him while in Vegas? He had a ring in his pocket that was quite literally (I know that isn't correct) burning a hole in his pocket.

Would we mind???

My squeals were loud and maybe just a little bourbon infused. Pup and I giggled the rest of the day.

We were sworn to silence. We can keep a secret if we have to. Pup especially is very good at it. He does have five sisters after all. He is the sister-whisperer and can keep a secret like no other. Even from me at times.

It was hard to zip it with the kidlettes once they arrived! Our happiness was concealed by the fact that, yes, we were entirely happy to see all of them. But now came the hard part. We had to wait for Randy to decide when the right time was to spring it on Lorenzo.

The following day we were hanging out in the pool, having a laughing and talking and lounging and drinking time. Oh so fun. Towards the later afternoon Rand-Man asked Lorenzo to go up to the room for a bit. She wriggled her eyebrows in a teasing fashion and we all said, "oooooh??" So classy.

Later, Bella, Pup, and I were in our suite and the knock came on the door and they swooped in to tell us the news. Much crying and looking at the ring and more crying. Such happiness.

I won't give all of his proposal speech here, but one part that touched me (out of plenty of parts let me tell you) he said that she was already family to him and would she become family for real. He is a very family-oriented man. We do love him. And now he is part of our family

The gifts in my life just keep coming.

Happy People

Here I am!
Signed, sealed, delivered,
I'm yours!
~Stevie Wonder

Ha!

Are y'all thinking about the past year? Thinking about what the coming year could mean? Changes yes?

I read an article a few minutes ago (and promptly Pinterested it -yeah, I said it!) about the things that happy people do differently. One of the things was be in the moment.

It sounds so simple. Aren't we all in that moment? I mean, I'm there aren't I? How could I not be in the moment? After the moments, after things are quiet and I'm left to my thoughts I realize many times that I was forward-thinking. "Oh! I never lit the candles!" "Oh! If I were a size or so smaller I could have worn that cute outfit!" "Oh! What is the next hilarious thing I want to say?"

Yesterday I watched my little tater-tot while his parents attended a memorial service for Bella's grandma. I know I could have gone - that great woman had been my mother-in-law for 23 years - but for some reason I did not feel right about it. There were a few logistic reasons I couldn't go, but nothing that I couldn't have figured out. But when Bella asked if I would watch baby KD while they attended the service, I jumped at the chance. Even though she said the other Granny could watch him if I wanted to attend the service.

I said, "No, please, I'll watch the sweet baby."

So KD and I hung out for four hours or so. And I practiced being in the moment. Because everything stops when you look at your first grandchild's face. Everything! It's fantastic. He and I talked about his Great-Grandmomma and how perfect it had been that he got to meet her and how she loved him and was happy for his parents. How blessed he is to have so many people love him.

He listened to every silly thing I said to him. He's a rapt participant right now. He fills me with tears and joy.

Bella said her dad wrote something that she read for him. He talked about the bond between mother and child. How he saw it when he and I had children and now he's seeing it with his own Bella. And how his momma had that bond with her children.

I will think about momma-Sylvia and how she loved her children and how she loved her grandchildren and how she loved her great-grandchildren. It's New Year's Eve and all things are there for us.

Minnesota

Oh Hell Yes!

It's a done deal. How proud am I to be living in this state? Never will I hear a story from my state like the story my auntie has. Over 25 years with her partner, yet wasn't considered part of the "family" when her partner became ill. This.will.never.happen.again.

Because who doesn't love love?

Knee Deep in the Bootla

Well, not exactly. It's snowed a bit here and there, but not the pounding I'm desiring. It's winter! Let's get our snow on!

We have passed the shortest day which always makes me happy because now we're heading back to longer days of more light.

I do kinda cocoon in during these dark dark days. Very reflective. Maybe even a touch down. It's my nature. I'm mostly happy, but have never minded nurturing a down day here and there. It just feels right at times.

So I pad around in slippers and flannel, enjoying my SAD experience. If that makes no sense, well then welcome! You are beginning to get it!

All of that aside, let's enjoy a few shots of our Eve Eve.

Wow! Is that my house? I like it!

See the workout outfit hanging on the door at the top of the stairs? Yeah, it's been hanging there for more than a minute. Heh!

George is waiting for everyone to get here already. Don't they know he's waiting to hump them and jump on them? Bad dog.

The meatballs. I only ate one while making them. That might be the first time ever.

Load up the tray to set the table.

Simple, but so pretty.

We all have feet.

George might be pouting. He really has no idea that his life is perfect.

But the Squeekers get it.

I hope your days were merry and bright.

Smooches all my holiday hooches.

Thinking

1990 or so. I think. Help me Naea?

Lorenzo and I had a weepy moment the other day. Separately.

I had started the day just thinking that my insomnia was getting the best of me and felt as though I just may be starting to lose it. A little bit of crying at my computer and I was good to go. I, personally, don't see anything wrong with a little cry now and then. It always makes me feel better!

I head out to an appointment and get a call from my darling Lorenzo. I miss it because I'm in my noisy Ruby (Jeep Wrangler) so I call her back.

"Momma, did you listen to my voicemail?" Lorenzo said. "I am having a crying jag! I woke up this morning and started thinking about Nana."

My momma, her Nana, died eight years ago in September.

I had been thinking about her on and off all week as well. It hadn't really hit me why I was thinking about her because I think about her often.

We now know why we were weeping. Even if you don't think you consciously remember; it's down there in your brain.

Love you my Momma. Miss you always.

I Have a Theory

With the holidays coming fast I'm thinking about my family. Not just my amazing family of my husband, daughters, son-in-law, and newly added boyfriend of Lorenzos, but the rest of my family.

My dad, my step-mom, my sister, her husband, and my brother. And their children, my niece and two nephews. And two of them have children. My brother's two children have kids; nearly four from what I'm hearing. His lovely daughter has two children and his son is having child number two.

My brother and I don't talk. It's a long and multi-faceted story; most of which is old family drama and not worth your reading, but some of it is relevant to everyone. How we got to this exact place is something I do think about. But, sorry my adorable sister, I don't think about him that much.

What I do think about is our, and by that I do mean my, childhood and the way we were brought up to think about family.

My momma and dad were pretty typical 60s parents. My mom ruled the roost and my dad would come home from work, sit in his chair reading the paper, and wait for supper. That my mom prepared. We had many many aunts and uncles from both sides of the family, but most of my life we weren't talking or seeing my dad's side of the family much for reasons long forgotten.

And there were times when we weren't talking to certain members of my momma's family. Also for reasons long forgotten.

Reasons long forgotten.

That's the saddest part of any family story of dissension. The original reason for the disagreement is long lost against the passion of the reactions.

I've often said that while I do not make too much drama, I am totally comfortable with it because of our family life while growing up. No blame there, just a realization I came to long long ago.

So . . . my brother and I don't talk. He has his reasons - spewed out to me in a phone conversation a couple of years ago - reasons I was rather stunned to hear, but they are his reasons. I can't change how he feels, but I did decide to change what I'll brave. I made a decision to no longer seek out any connection to him. It sounds horribly harsh, but he has no desire to take my hand so I'll no longer stretch it out. This breaks my sister's heart and makes for some tough holidays since I've asked to not be included in any celebrations that include him.

I knew that when I wrote this out it would cement in my mind what this means. And after reading what I've just written I can't believe this is what it's come to. Breaks my heart as well.

My little family is not perfect. But it will be a cold, dark day in hell before I'll be a part of anything like I experienced when growing up. I try my damnedest to stay out of any fray. I'm not saying I don't put my foot in it. I have big feet. Where else are they going to go for the cryin' out loud? But I am saying that I keep an open mind. Admit my errors. Try to make amends. And love as hard as I can.

Love as hard as I can.

That's all we got peeps. Love them until they can't stand it.

Smooches my hooches.

Family quarrels are bitter things. They don't go by any rules. They're not like aches or wounds; they're more like splits in the skin that won't heal because there's not enough material. 
~F. Scott Fitzgerald