Friday, June 29, 2012

Hot Men Friday

The week!

It's Friday. I'm up early (hello cool cool morning!), drinking my coffee (yay!), and thinking back over the past week, which is making me pretty happy right about now.

Long, long lunch with darling sister - check!
Clearing piles of crap papers off of desk - check!
Making appointments, organizing calendar, organizing Pup's calendar - check!
Having a much-anticipated mini-getaway - whooo ha! - check!
Having wonderful visit with wasband, wasband's new wife, and my Bella - check!
Seeing beautiful week-old baby - check!
Millions of other crap important things - too many to mention - check!

John Legend

A few years ago Lorenzo moved to San Francisco. Pup and I drove with her across the country, unloaded the little Pod full of her stuff, helped her set up her apartment. It was one of the best trips I've ever had. So fun driving across the country with Pup and my youngest. The only trip better was the one where I helped her drive home when she moved back. Holla! (do I sound gangsta when I say holla? No? Not even a little? Crap!)

That was a good ramble to get to the point that while at Lorenzo's tiny San Francisco apartment she would turn on her iTunes while we were all working. I kept hearing this soft and strong, warm-like-honey voice.

"Who is that baby-girl?" I asked her.

"Momma, you don't know John Legend?" she replied.

Nope. I had apparently been living under a rock.

But ever since that day I know him.

And now that he's on Duets I'm getting to look at his handsomeness every week. And listen to that honey whenever I want. Mmmm! Did someone mention honey? I scoop it out of the jar with a tablespoon. That's what I do.

This video is an awesome watch of his sexy, sexy ways. Speaking of sexy, check out the two women dancing and singing to your left. Hotness!

To skip all the crap intro stuff jump to 1:22 on the video dial :)

I don't know about y'all, but I'm ready to go right now!

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Whipping Cream

No reason for this shot - it's just purdy

I am a hair twister. Like a maniac.

When I'm reading, when I'm thinking, when I'm daydreaming, when I'm procrastinating.

It's something I have done since the 3rd grade. It started after my momma had given me a home perm (oh dear lord!) and I had curls all over my head that felt good when they plopped plopped around my finger while touching them.

It makes you look a tad crazy at times. I've even twisted my hair while stuck in traffic! Well - you gotta do something!

So . . . this morning I sat down and wanted to write a post. I didn't have a solid idea that I wanted to write about and I was letting my mind run around like a puppy without a leash to see what it would come up with.

So you can only imagine the hair twisting that was going on.

Here is the sentence I started out with:

I opened up the refrigerator door, spotted the whipping cream in the canister, and squirted a huge huge squirt directly into my mouth. Couldn't even talk for a few moments afterwards it was so delicious and a bit shameful.

WTH? That is the sentence that couldn't! I gotta say, the brain is a wondrous thing that I will never get tired of. Thank god for that because it's the only one I have.

But, sadly, that sentence did not inspire any additional thoughts. It's a good sentence regardless. Ha!

BTW - do you ever squirt whipping cream into your coffee? You know - when you're out of cream? I've done that more times than I care to admit to. 

So, here is the post that couldn't. Some days are inspired. Some days are waiting for inspiration.

I KNOW you all know what I'm talking about.

How you doin?

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Time for a Cool Change

Come for a ride with me?

 I bend over to see what is floating across the floor.

Oh, of course. It's a dust bunny. Ironically, the size of a real bunny.

"How does that manage make me feel like a bad housekeeper," I ask myself? "Surely, even Martha Stewart occasionally has dust bunnies floating across her floor, yes?"


I'm feeling transient. Restless. Maybe even edgy.

No reason behind any of it. It could be insomnia related. I'm certain that the brain has a hard time with insomnia. After, perhaps, six or seven days of four or so hours a night there isn't much left up there to help cool my hot head.

That's what I need! A cool washcloth placed over my restlessness. Like your momma would do when you were feverish. That cool cloth on your forehead with your momma's hand pushing it into place always made you feel like you were loved and safe.

The house is very quiet and still. The dog shuffles towards the back door, looking at me as if to say, "What the hell; I'll go pee if you really think I need to."

Yeah, I think you need to.

I step outside with him. It's lovely! The sun is just showing its yellow sliver - giving a huge clue what's ahead for this Sunday.

I bring my coffee up to my lips. Sip it and smile. Yep, Everything feels better with a cool washcloth.

Rock and sock it today my hooches. Summer is just beginning!

Friday, June 22, 2012

Who Are You Redux?

It's Friday! And it must be my birthday! Yay to the birthday week.

We're having a BBQ at our house tonight with the kidletts and their respective boys and I'm very excited.

However, I met with my BBF, Reechie, last night for dinner and cocktails and look what she found for me for my birthday.

Could he be cuter?? His little eyes light up at night. I swooned and screamed a little bit right in the restaurant. See that woman looking at me? Ha!

He is already sitting on the deck outside the big room. I can't wait to see his face tonight.

And, just for good measure, this is the card she got me.

Not that I've done this mind you. ::looking at floor and shuffling foot about::

Have a great weekend hooches and have a cocktail and wish me happy birthday!


Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Speak or Quell?

Get on your horse and ride.
~Marshall Matt Dillon


Complicated? Nope.

Long-winded? Nope.

Charmingly simple? Yes.

I am full of annoying advice. I had an argument with myself last week about just how annoying. My intent is always good. The antithesis of that line from one of Amy Winehouse's songs, "The message was brutal, but the delivery was kind." My delivery seems kind in my head, but brutal in its content.

As a blurter I have a long relationship with remorse.

I just thesauru.comed remorse. The note reads: Regret carries no explicit admission that one is responsible for an incident, while remorse implies a sense of guilty responsibility and a greater feeling of personal pain and anguish. Both of those seem a bit heavy-handed, but I am at a loss for a better word. My blurting sometimes causes me a pang, but is it regret or remorse? I have to think on that a bit longer.

Okay, let's go with regret.

Again - where am I going with all of this on this windy, hot morning?

I appreciate the early-morning ramblings that go on in my head, but harnessing this content is sometimes like herding cats. Good luck with that! Don't forget to write! 

Here's the thing, the thingy-thing of it all - if you say nothing, if you sit and observe with no participation, that's when you might feel a pang of regret. I should reword that to read, that's when I'll feel a pang of regret.

So! Say what you mean, but don't be mean saying it. (I stole this entire line from a reality show I confess with chagrin.)

And I'll get on that horse and ride.

Monday, June 18, 2012

What's on my Blackberry?

Let's take a look at the past week or so. Follow along and laugh enjoy!

Pup and I, along with my sister and brother-in-law, took Barnabee (my dad and step-momma) out for my dad's birthday. Fogo de Chao - where the steak comes hot and often and the boys stop smiling only long enough to say, "Yes! I'll have more!" We seriously love this place like teenage boys love their dirty socks. Apologies for the thought. Some of these things just pop into my head and have to come out somewhere. :)

I went shopping for flowers (finally) and for some reason needed to take a picture of myself. I'm so cute! I'm so kidding! I'm sharing because I rarely take a good photo and when I get one I hoard it like I hoard chocolate.

One of my oldest friends was in town helping her parents downsize to an apartment. They have lived in their lovely house in Highland Park, St. Paul for 56 years. 56 years! Christine and I went to a pub I used to frequent when I lived in St. Paul a few years ago and we had the best time arguing, talking, crying, laughing, and just marveling at the fact that we've known each other since high school. And yes, we act so high school. Love it so much.

Look at all the stuff that Christine's momma, Mrs. M, let me take home. Oh the love and she PROMISES to call me when they have their garage sale because it will be full of more spiffy stuff. Oh I am swooning just thinking about it.

Yes, the cats were hiding because I play my music way too loud during the day. Just look at their disapproving faces! So bad.

These are the regular types of photos I get of myself from my camera. My arms are either not long enough to get my whole body, or I am obsessed with my bubbies and feet, like so many of us. Us being bloggers. Not anyone looking at my bubbies and feet.

We had GNO at my house Saturday night. Our theme was French! We had French food (those are French hamburgers minuscules délicieux. From Julia Child's cookbook! I love her so much since everything is dripping butter. What's not to love? Mmm and numm! I think I had a few gin and tonics before I took these shots. Which explains a lot. (I'm certain French girls drink those yes?)

We dressed French. The best was my peu adorable Shelley-belly. She looked just like Audrey Hepburn. Alli-baby and I both thought pearls and a scarf tied around our necks was French enough. I abandoned my scarf immediately since it was hot as hail that evening.

So much fun. The girl-talk was thick and sassy. The things you learn!

Frozen grapes as ice cubes. I am the best Martha ever. Don't look at me like that. I have my moments.

Shelley-belly made dessert. Mmmm and nummy.

Big-ass breakfast the next morning to clear my head of the gin. Hollandaise!

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Be the Cat

Toes need love too.

I wake with a headache.

I tumble down the stairs and flop on the sofa in The Big Room, pull the laptop onto my lap (what a handy name don't you think?).

I'm maybe in a mood. I'm not a fan of being in moods. You know I'm talking about a bad mood right? I feel the overwhelming urge to add a smiley face, but I'm too crabby.  :)

And the headache is still firmly in place.

I don't eat too many carbs and yesterday I was kinda on a carb-fest. Could this be my punishment?

I want to go to the kitchen and make myself some coffee, but the cat DK has already claimed my thighs as hers and she really feels so cozy laying there with her little arms shoved under the MacBook that is on my thighs.

I have lots of things to do today and don't really have time for a bad mood. What's up with bad moods anyway? They surely don't help the things I have to do today. They surely don't help any crappy family situations that may or may not have occurred yesterday. I don't want to be cryptic, but I am feeling cryptic.

Ironically I was telling my NP yesterday during my yearly how happy I mostly feel. Happy like an idiot is how I put it. She laughed out loud at the thought. Me being an idiot or me being happy? I'm not too sure! Ha!

Here's what I need to do today. Be the cat. Take a deep breath. Take a step back. Let family handle family. My headache won't change a thing. My crabbiness won't help a thing. In particular it won't help me.

I love all of them, but I'm kinda important too.

And I really hate headaches.

Friday, June 8, 2012

Hot Men Friday

Howard Stern

Wait! Don't snort and say WTH just yet.

I have loved Howard with a passion that many shake their heads at.

"He's disgusting"!

"He objectifies women"!

"He thinks fart jokes are high-humor"!

Yes, most of this is, at one time or another, true.

But this man makes me laugh.

Many years ago, when I owned my little consignment shop, he was syndicated here in the cities for a short period of time. I listened every day. And LMAO every day. My wasband was appalled that I would enjoy Howard so much. I couldn't help it.

The man knows how to interview. He listens. He gets people to say things that are both outrageous and introspective. An amazing talent in that regard.

Frankly, I've always been attracted to him. His thick curly hair, his blue blue eyes, and even though I am not normally attracted to tall and lanky, this man is tall and lanky! And I like it on him.

I've been watching him on America Has Talent and he has his parents there with him and I love that he loves his parents. He is funny and surprisingly kind to the wackadoos that are competing.

And, I love to laugh. And what is better than laughing until you have a headache?

smooches all my lovely hooches

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Just Give Me a Kiss

Alli-baby had a date last night and was texting me while she was waiting at the pub.

The guy was someone she had worked with a while back and she wanted to see if they had any dating mojo going on.

Her texts were making me laugh out loud. And y'all may remember what happens when I laugh out loud. Small children and animals run for cover. Two things I cannot do quietly - sneeze or laugh.

Alli - I'm here. I'm early. Help me not drink too many glasses of wine before he gets here
Me - Two drinks total! That's all you get!
A - But it's hot!
M - Water!
A - But we'll be outside.
M - WTH? It's hot! Get inside! Cool as the cat!
A - I like to be sweaty!
M - OMG!
A - How should I greet him?
M - You know what to do.
A - Is it okay to grab his balls?
M - aaaaaahahahaha!
M - No, no ball grabbing.
A - What if he doesn't like my hair?
M - Stop it! He already loves your hair!
M - Just flirt and touch him from time to time.
A - Is it bad to touch his ass?
M - [snorting and choking]
M - yeah, that's okay. Go ahead and touch his ass.

silence for a minute

A -Okay, conversation going good. Small talk, blah blah blah
M - No texting during date

I was laughing so hard imagining all of this.

She and I are meeting for lunch today. I am bringing Dating for Dummies with me, but that girl will do what that girl will do.

I cannot stop laughing.

And I wouldn't have sat in the sun. I melt like butter.

Monday, June 4, 2012

Fear of Falling

Age, 26 - this girl was not often afraid

Pup was out of town over the weekend golfing with his sister and her family.

I was originally going, but was gently told that crappy golfers like myself are not welcome on the courses these good golfers would be going to. I was going to hang out on the cart and I don't know what else.

As it turned out I was unexpectedly scheduled to work and had to bow out. So I stayed home and had fun in spite of myself.


I am a crappy golfer. Worse than a crappy golfer.

Part of it is intimidation. Which kinda pisses me off. Why would I allow myself to be intimidated?

I've asked Pup to golf with me, but bottom line I can see that he isn't that into helping a newbie. Or it's me projecting my fears. I don't know!

I don't even exactly know what I'm working through in this moment.

Because if I don't take care of my fears who will? I do have lots of fears that I have to plow through. All the time. Sometimes I am really good at it. I can rear right up into the face of it and holler! Other times I sidestep the fear like the crab (Cancer per my horoscope!) I am.

So . . . let my fears pile up? Hunt a few down and do them in?

I'm not just talking golf here people.

This week I will load my rifle and get me some fear. I will hang the heads on my wall and feel boastful that I killed that one . . . and that one . . . and that one.

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
~ Eleanor Roosevelt

The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.
~ Elbert Hubbard

The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but, it is fear.
~ Gandhi

Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are your own fears.
~ Rudyard Kipling