Binders Full of Women

Are you in that binder?

The comment has gone crazy. I believe this comment points to a bigger issue. Issues for women. I need to think about this for a minute.

Watch out for women. We are making the difference. We always have. Whether you live in the suburbs or you live in the city or you live in a rural setting.



Listen to what we do.

The Gigi Movement

Last night Pup and I were exploring a part of our TiVo services we hadn't explored before and stumbled on a section with movie genres. One was adult.

"Aaaah! Let's read the titles," I exclaimed!

Pup meandered in there like he'd never read the title of an adult movie before. Innocence all over his face. And mine for that matter.

Yes, we've watched our fair share of porn. Don't judge. It relaxes me sometimes. That's as far as I'll tell. Ahem.

But we really did want to read the titles because they are hilarious.

Like . . .
China-Doll Syndrome

and . . .
Give Mama a Bone

and . . .
Do My Wife! Please!

and finally . . .
Cougars Pounce on Boy-Cubs.

Several of the titles had Cougar in the name.

Cougar.

As a woman of a certain age and a woman who was dating while a grown-ass woman, I've been aware of this description of older women. Most of the guys I dated before meeting Pup, and Pup for that matter, were younger than me. Some quite a bit younger than me.

It wasn't done intentionally. I did date a few men my age or even a bit older, but most of those guys, other than the oft-mentioned Harry, gave guys my age a really bad name. They wanted to spend a lot of time crabbing about their exes, crabbing about their kids, crabbing about all of their ailments. Save me, I thought at the time.

So I dated younger guys. Especially when I first became single and wasn't so much interested in dating as I was interested in spending some 'quality' time. Again, that's as far as I'll share.

And the term Cougar would come up now and then.

When I first heard that phrase it made me giggle and go 'rarw'. Yeah, I may have done that.

But then I realized it wasn't such a flattering definition of the older woman/younger man dynamic. The Cougar-woman became known as an animal-print wearing, overly blonde (I love blondes, I don't mean blondes - I'm meaning the home-processed blondes - you all know the kind of blonde I mean), perhaps breasts that were not factory-direct, too short of skirts, hanging with their daughter and all of her daughter's friends, going to the bars with young uns, doing shots, and all kinds of unflattering shenanigans.

I wasn't engaging in that kind of behavior.

But I did date younger men. A few of my friends at work called me Cougar a couple of times. It always stuck in my mind as an 'ick'.

I don't know why we even have to characterize the older woman/younger guy thing at all. Older men with younger women don't seem to suffer in that same way.

But there is some kind of mystique with older women and younger men.

Mrs. Robinson-type mystique if you will. I mean, seriously, I had a crush on Mrs. Robinson! Look at her!

Of course I had a crush on Elaine as well.

And yes, for that matter, I had a huge crush on Benjamin.

I might need to go watch this movie. I watch it at least once a year.

But, as point-sliding as I might be getting with this post, the thing I've been thinking about since reading all those adult film titles, is this:

We need switch it up a bit. Cougar - out.

Gigi - in.

Yes, I'm picking Gigi. I love that name. It has panache, with no overt, over-sexual, or over-used history of any boy-cub abuse.

I think that will be my grandma-name.

Much Less . . .

. . . blabbering today.

Don't look so happy!

Despite the bad carb related headache earlier in the week, I'm feeling really good! I worked a lot this week so didn't get in any strength training. I will add that in next week. I don't work nearly as much.

I bet when most of you read that I'm working you think, "Big deal! I work!" Yes you do. The only difference is I work retail right now and am literally on my little hoofs the entire time I'm at work. Running here. Running there. And that's good. We even have standup desks to log pricing on incoming items. Again, this is good.

I've noticed that the primal/paleo influence is hitting main stream offices here in Minneapolis. I saw a news report showing a company that had treadmill desks and standing desks. I don't know if I could personally concentrate while walking on a treadmill, but wth. Standing is good. Good for our bones.

I'm happy with my first week progress.

I'm unhappy with a couple of other things, but like a woman customer from The Turnstyle and I were saying to each other yesterday, why be crabby? Be happy. Doesn't mean you aren't feeling the pain of what you are going through, but why be an ass about it? I have an ass, but don't care to be an ass. You all can keep your opinions to yourselves. Ha!

I am grokking on.

ignore horrible insignia - funny nevertheless when you put my face there with no uniform

Where Am I?

I'm posting a bit over on my Grok and Roll blog. Come read along if you're interested in bitching, crying, whining, grousing, kvetching, complaining, and just general thought-chaos. You know, the regular order of events.

Here is some entertainment in case you need a bit of coercion.

Me at age 18. A bitcher and moaner in the making. What a face!

Fluidity

I wish I didn't have insomnia. I had a handle on it for a minute, but it has slowly geared back up. Blah. Getting up at 2 a.m. is not fun! I did fall asleep in The Big Room (family room), but George (cute doggie) decided as long as I was up that he needed to pee. Damn you George!

I just don't know what else to try.

I am diligently drinking green tea every day. And liking it with lemon. Especially now that it's fall it is nice to have something warm to drink on a cold afternoon. 

The only good thing about being awake at 2 a.m. is I stumbled on an infomertial about the Fluidity Bar. I had forgotten about mine! I bought it a few years back and it is in the basement along with all of my other fitness equipment. I am planning on dragging it back out. They talked endlessly about developing a ballet butt. I want a ballet butt.

Enough.

It's a good time to review!

1. I found an additive for bottled water that might just help Pup and his quest to forgo pop. He is a pop nut and I've seen him glug down a liter in a few gulps. I brought home these little packets specifically made for bottled water. They even had his favorite flavor - fruit punch. Now that I know he likes them I'll get a few boxes to stash here and there. A big roadblock is lunch. He does fast food (I know!) every day and always gets a large pop with his meal. He is going to try bringing a bottle of water with the additive. Yay!
2. I don't get headaches often, but today is one of those days. Really bad. I'm dead tired at 7 o'clock. So I'm watching TiVo and giggling at bad behavior on some of my shows.
3. Supplements! I loaded up a ziploc baggie and promptly forgot about them. I am really bad bad bad about taking them. Hmm . . . I need to brainstorm a better way.
4. I nibbled all day. Peanut butter for breakfast, tomatoes and avocado for lunch along with a slice or two of cheddar cheese and liver pate, broth and some peanuts for dinner, a couple of wonderful haralson apples for snacks. Wow - looking at it written out makes me realize I am really weird.
5. I got my shoes moved in the loft.
6. Mood is in the dumper. Pup and I recently got some biz-related news that isn't good. Selfishly I see it how it affects me. As a good wife I also see how it affects Pup and I feel impotent. Makes my head ache more.

 I'm not sure why I'm sharing, or rather over-sharing, all of this. It's the head. I bet this is some kind of carb-flu. If it is, it won't take long to get over it.

Gah and grr. I hate being down for the count. Tomorrow will be better; it always is!

This graphic has NOTHING to do with this written post. Except that I don't feel good and looking at good butts in Levi jeans always makes me feel better. I can actually remember the first time I realized that I enjoyed looking at boy's asses. I was in the 8th grade, between classes, walking up the stairs behind the boy I had a huge crush on. I described the feeling to my girlfriend as liking the way his shirt tucked into his pants. I was kinda clueless at 13.

No Sugar Tonight

Do y'all remember that song? I just went way back into my vault of good memories. I think I was a wee-girl when I jumped around singing that song. Holy Hannah it was good. I always got baby-girl-boners looking at Burton Cummings. Sigh and ummm . . .

Enough.

Day #1 No Sugar or Grains

1. made it through the morning. Thank you for Stevia. It does not taste like ass as I've been told. Really. I'm not lying. Although sometimes I really crave Splenda even though it will make me grow a third breast if you believe all the hype about its evilness. EVIL SPLENDA. Even more evil than sugar.
2. I love MY scrambled eggs and spinach. I never order them when I go out though. They're always kinda rubbery. But mine are awesome. Is it okay to pat my own back? I could eat them every day. My secret ingredient? Heavy cream. Although I always say the world is a better place with heavy cream, sour cream, and cream cheese. Yes - I love fat. No - it doesn't make you fat.
3.  I am giving up grains as well as mentioned above - this may be harder than the sugar. I do love me some popcorn. Already I'm contemplating Mark Sisson's 80/20 approach. I'm sure I overestimate what 20 percent really means.   :P
4. Carbs are being limited. I don't have a number I'm aiming for, but under 50 per day is the goal. I am tracking my progress with my FitnessPal.com account. I am 'friends' with both of my daughters so we can nudge each other when we see that one of us hasn't been logging in. Although they don't really need any of what I need. If you get my ass drift.
5. I worked five hours today. I work retail and the upside of working retail is it's a physical job. 
6. No gym today. What a wussy. I am working on a doable goal for the gym. I have a tendency to be all or nothing. So let's make it reasonable. I'm thinking three times per week. And I'd like to squeeze in some yoga here at home. I'm as flexible as a coffee table. Heh!
7. I had soup and salad at home tonight. Then I had a snack attack and had a container of sugar-free pudding, Dulce Leche. Now my tummy is talking and talking. No discomfort, but super conversational. TMI much? I knew I shouldn't buy any processed junk.
8. I am finishing up the evening with lemon zinger tea and will head up to my bedroom to move stuff around. You know - shoes and stuff. I hadn't moved my shoes yet and wound up wearing sandal wedgies out on Saturday night. Everyone and their sister had on boots. I am a holdout. I am still wearing my Haviannas and plan to for as long as I can. Winter is long and dreary. I want to take a piece of summer with me.

Yay to the day one. Day one is both depressing and exciting.

Random shot of Brigitte Bardot

Polyester Makes Me Itchy

The secret to a rich life is to have more beginnings than endings.
~Dave Weinbaum

The starting point of all achievement is desire. Keep this constantly in mind. Weak desires bring weak results, just as a small amount of fire makes a small amount of heat.
~Napoleon Hill

It's never too late. Never too late to start over, never too late to be happy.
~Jane Fonda

So what do we do? Anything. Something. So long as we just don't sit there. If we screw it up, start over. Try something else. If we wait until we've satisfied all the uncertainties, it may be too late.
~Lee Iacocca

Pup and I are going on vacation in January with another couple.

For fun one night while together, the four of us decided that we should get in shape for the trip. From mine and Pup's perspective we KNOW we should get in shape for this trip. We don't want to be the fatties. We want to be the hotties. Well, maybe Pup doesn't really care about being a hotty. I would love to be a hotty.

So we decided to have a little competition. The four of us are going to see who loses the most weight and gets in the best shape. I'm not real certain how we'll discern and select the winner, but I am certain that we have decided that the loser has to wear a leisure suit on the plane to the Dominican Republic.

It will not be me!

It's fall; do you know where your abs are?

Some Days Are Just Like That

Yep.

It is Saturday! Pup and I are going to see a play tonight with some dear friends where I'm certain I will not be able to speak tomorrow because I will be laughing and talking too much tonight. Oh and, yes, there may be alcohol involved. How do I know this? Have you met me? You can't see it right now, but I'm giving you a sly smile with my eyes - you know, the smeyzs.

I'm tempted to list all the 'things' from this past week, but on reflection they may only be interesting to me. I'll refrain.

Cuz you know I am way more entertaining in my head. Just ask anyone. Wait - don't ask THAT person. They might not agree! I'm not in the mood for disagreement. That's not true. Yes it is!

See?

Some things are just best left alone.

I don't even have one phone-photo to share. I am still not in love with this Samsung Galaxy. I really am a brat. I just feel weird and awkward swyping away. I miss my thumbs. Although Lorenzo told me about an upgrade I can get on my iPad to make the keyboard behave like a huge texting surface. Love you Apple - you evil geniuses. They know what a girl wants.

So why am I yapping? I like to yap. You may have noticed.

The best thing about my yapping? Besides when I stop? . . .

I'm not going to tell you! You tell me! And be nice. Or not. I really don't care.

Smooches all of my weekend hooches. What's on your do-it list today?

Okay, I'll put this photo up of Carrie Bradshaw's closet. My dream closet. If I were closeted I'd never come out of here.

Is It a Little Hot in Here?

We mostly feel fearful because we feel powerless. We feel powerless, I contend, because of a style of thinking that splits information in two poles that makes us lose all the operative information we need to solve the problem.
~Patricia Sun

Nothing gives a fearful man more courage than another's fear.
~Umberto Eco

A timid person is frightened before a danger, a coward during the time, and a courageous person afterward.
 ~Jean Paul Richter

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've been afraid a few times in my life.

The time I was walking 6 year-old Bella to her best friend's house and two largish barking, angry dogs came running down a driveway towards us. I pushed Bella behind me and knew I'd take whatever those dogs had to give me before they'd get at Bella. Apparently my conviction changed their minds and they went back up the driveway without bothering us. Whooo ha!

Or the time I had to hang my head out of our truck while my wasband and I drove north in a snowstorm to find our Lorenzo who had flipped her car into a ditch. I couldn't breath. I just wanted her young-yet-grown body in my arms so I could feel all of her limbs and know she was okay.

Fear is weird because when you're in it you have really no control over how you'll react.

Saturday morning Pup and I (or the Griswolds as his family now refer to us) packed up The Guest House and drove it south to Iowa for a party at his sister's house.

We were looking forward to this weekend and I had convinced Pup that it would be fun to take The Guest House so we could free up the spare room for his other sister and brother-in-law to use.

We're humming along. I'm reading a pile of magazines that had been growing for a time. Nothing like four hours on the road to get you caught up on all of your magazines.

I had just reached behind my seat to pick up my iPad.

"Sheesh - this thing is really hot!" I say.

Pup nods.

A second later we're both sniffing the air. There's a burning smell coming from outside we think.

"I sure hope that's not us," Pup laughs.

He turns to look in the back. Smoke is billowing out from behind my seat.

His look of alarm makes me turn around to look. Smoke spewing out. What the hell?

I hop in the back to see. What do I think I'm going to do? I really don't know, but Pup is driving and we need to know, yes? I'm brilliant in my reasoning.

I am just getting on my hands and knees when

BAM

flames start shooting out of the spot where seconds before there had been smoke.

The crazy-ass thing about crippling fear is that it was only one half of me. The other half of me was dead-calm. I could have rational thought. I'm thinking

FIRE

SMOTHER

EXTINGUISH

I grab our heavy chenille blanket and place it over the flame, pushing it down. Meanwhile Pup is pulling off the highway. Mind you, seconds before we were hurtling along at 70 miles per or thereabouts.

I start to crawl towards the back of The Guest House where I know we have a fire extinguisher. Of course I cannot figure out how to get that thing out of its holder.

Now, I am making it sound like I'm the calm in the storm. I am not. Even though I'm reacting rationally I can feel a fear bubble in my chest. An adrenaline I've never felt before.

My mind is calm, but my lips are saying over and over and over, "Are we going to blow up? Are we going to blow up? Are we going to blow up?"

Who knows how many times I say it? A dozen? 20 times? Luckily no one is listening.

Pup has gotten onto the side of the road and brakes. I fly against the back door, bumping my head and sliding on my knees.

He then grabs a jug of water we have in the galley and pours it over the smoking hole.

Meanwhile I get the back door open and hesitate to jump out - it's a longish way to the pavement.

Pup says emphatically, "Get out." I do. He does.

We are standing away from The Guest House. Listening to everything creaking and cooling.

My chest is still pounding. I am bent over trying to get my breath.

Pup is doing the same.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of the story is good. We are alive. And nothing blew up.  :)

Pup quickly figures out it is the catalytic converter that blew its top and started the nearly 25 year-old wood under The Guest House on fire.

It doesn't look like much, but when flames were shooting out it was something!

It looks innocent doesn't it?

We made it there and we made it back.

We'll get The Guest House fixed and we'll be back on the road in no time I'm certain.

On the way back to Minnesota that thing blew a couple of times more, but Pup now knew exactly what it was and could remedy the situation. My reactions were not so remedial. Let's just say that crying and irrational fear took over both times.

Yay! We're alive! Nay! Hole in floor of The Guest House!

Smooches to all of you.

Hot Men Friday

Jeff Hephner

I had never heard of this guy before I started watching Kelsey Grammer's Boss.  If you like sex, power, bad behavior, and a gorgeous cast check this show out.

This guy plays a politician. He is so naughty. He is fun watching being naughty. Steamy! And naughty. Did I say he was naughty? Heh!

I love it when baby-faced guys try to look all serious and gruff. Grrrr!

It's a good show though if you like that kind of stuff. Which I apparently do. Reinforcing my image as deep-as-a-puddle.

And this girl is fun to watch as well. I want my new nickname to be Kitty!

I have the glasses, but that's about it.

I have no idea . . .

. . . what is on my mind this glorious morning.

1. our weather has been no less than spectacular.
2. I found something that is working for my insomnia - so far so good - two weeks!
3. planning a January trip with two friends to somewhere warm warm warm - hot damn dog.
4. driving today to cute small town to see my parents - so happy my sister and I are tag-teaming these trips. Barnabee sounds wonderful.
5. drinking my morning coffee from my enormous mug.
6. still getting pangs whenever I see anyone with a Blackberry. Wah!
7. can fall last forever please?
8. our darling Lorenzo is buying a townhouse! I am excited beyond measure. I could go on and on about her, but I won't - just know that she is the best thing you've ever seen. Love her madly.
9. Looking for townhouses with our darling Lorenzo is FUN! Every place I enter I start decorating in my head. I will help her, but not hinder her. I promise.
10. My Bella is more than you'd ever know. Full-time job where she is involved in major corporate changes, finishing up her undergrad degree at the Carlson school in the UofM, becoming a power-volunteer with the org we are volunteering for. My heart bursts on a daily basis.

 I'm not feeling funny or snarky today. Sad for me! I like a little hot sauce in my coffee to keep me laughing. That's okay - I'm thinking all this sleep is making me groggy. Maybe? Believe me - I find something to bitch about no matter what. Ha!

Unrelated photo from new phone - hmmm . . .

What's on your list of to-dos today? Put the top down and drive hooches. I just might. I'll be the girl with the hat driving in the 10 and 2 position. Don't make fun of me.

Love You Madly

In case you all want a piece of Cake.
The music video is making me hooongry. Bonus - see Phyllis Diller? I miss her!

 Now I want to cook everything in that video. Mmmm . . .

Are You Lost?

All the dishes rattle
in the cupboards
when the elephants arrive. 
~Cake

I'm not certain why, but this is rolling around in my head (alone I might add). For days now! Cake is one of those groups/bands/whatevers that my Bella introduced me to. I don't think I would have found them on my own. Maybe I would have? Regardless, I have loved Cake ever since.

I dated a guy for a bit back when I was dating and he and I would hang out in my tiny St. Paul apartment a lot and he always wanted me to put Cake on my little tiny stereo/system/whatevers every time he arrived with wine and a smile. He is the one that pointed out to me that Cake has no lead guitar. I pretended to know this by nodding wisely and smiling at him. He may or may not have been fooled by my ploys. But I thank him for my love of whiskey. Smooches Harry.

This particular set of lyrics is firmly stuck for the time being. I don't have a clue why (be nice).

My interpretation? When those elephants arrive, and those dishes are rattling, pay attention yes? The problem? I never know if it's the dinner plates rattling. Or the dessert plates. Or the cups and saucers. It makes a difference! I know there's a little voice in all of us, but I misinterpret my little voice constantly! Kinda like the way I drove before my Garmin (love you my Garmin). I would approach an intersection; think about where I wanted to be; choose the wrong way; every time.

I do believe I need a Garmin-type device on my decision-making sensors. Ha!

Pup gets the craziest fortune cookies!

I am happy and sad to share that I had to buy a new phone. My beloved and much abused Blackberry bit it and I had to choose a new love. I went with Samsung and so far the relationship is a bit rocky, but I am loving Swyping with wild abandon. I do know my thumbs are thanking me.

The camera is good! But this thing is larger than some phones from the early 90s! Holy Hannah it's big.

Smooches all of my lovely peeps. I wish you all could come visit me at work today. I'll need some friendly faces to make me happy because I have to work on such a glorious day.

Thinking

1990 or so. I think. Help me Naea?

Lorenzo and I had a weepy moment the other day. Separately.

I had started the day just thinking that my insomnia was getting the best of me and felt as though I just may be starting to lose it. A little bit of crying at my computer and I was good to go. I, personally, don't see anything wrong with a little cry now and then. It always makes me feel better!

I head out to an appointment and get a call from my darling Lorenzo. I miss it because I'm in my noisy Ruby (Jeep Wrangler) so I call her back.

"Momma, did you listen to my voicemail?" Lorenzo said. "I am having a crying jag! I woke up this morning and started thinking about Nana."

My momma, her Nana, died eight years ago in September.

I had been thinking about her on and off all week as well. It hadn't really hit me why I was thinking about her because I think about her often.

We now know why we were weeping. Even if you don't think you consciously remember; it's down there in your brain.

Love you my Momma. Miss you always.

9.15.12

Saturday

1. Start day with coffee, Stevia, and heavy cream. I am contemplating the rest of the day. Of course I am not prepared. Wouldn't you all be disappointed if I were all prepared? Who likes a smart-ass? Why I do!
2. I worked five hours at The Turnstyle today. I looked up "standing" in my fitness calculator and was a bit shocked how many calories standing for hours can burn. Very interesting.
3. I don't like to eat while at work so when I leave I am starving. Muy estúpido. 
4. Pup and I go to a movie. I was excited to see it. It blew. Ate popcorn. Yum!
5. I fall into bed and sleep a long time. Well, for me a long time. It was restless, but sleep. I'll take it!

I had a bit of pasta to wear off from Friday evening's family night at Buca di Beppo. We were celebrating our beautiful, smart, and accomplished Bella's 30th birthday. How on earth!!! Second celebration of that birthday in the same week. Score!

I very rarely eat pasta because it is one of those things I cannot eat enough of when I'm eating it. But I ate some last night and enjoyed every bite. And didn't do too horribly. There was also a wonderful eggplant strata that I had my fair share of. Nummy!

It was an evening of delicious red wine and all of Sarah Bella's parental units. I am proud to say that her daddy (my wasband), his wife, the Big B's parents, Pup, and I were all in attendance. And, of course, Lorenzo (Lorenzo's man, BT, was unable to attend).

I am really a lucky and happy woman that I get along with my ex, can chat away with his wife with no weirdness, and even give said wasband major shit about this or that. I kinda love it. This is the new normal; for us anyway. I could see how happy it made Bella and for that my heart swells with everything good.

Oh oh!

I don't know what Pup did, but it must be bad!

I laughed until rice was coming out of my nose!

Definition

. . . of fun . . .

Four of us, sitting in a pub after work during the late happy hour, singing this at the top of our lungs.

The weirdest part? All four of us knew the damn words. I don't know if I should be scared or delighted!

I can tell you how the rest of the bar felt. The looks on the faces all around us told the tale. I am still giggling. And yes, I might have been the loudest. 

I totally remember wearing this dress and having that hair in junior high or so. The truth? We will all be looking at our hair today in 20 years or so saying, "Oh dear! What was I thinking?" We were all thinking we looked cute as hell, yes we were.

I KNEW I was cute with this hair and this dress.



I just bought this for my iTunes. Oh yes I did.

It's Monday! It's September! Look at your calendar and get it going! Then come and help me. Please?

Thinking About

The Cure.

I think I forgot how I love them so. And I've never seen them live.

Do you love to see your favorites on the stage?

Or would you rather curl up listening to them in your home, in your favorite chair, on the floor, sitting at the table, or at your desk?

Music makes me insane. All my life it has been so.

If I am having the crappiest day, if I leave my volunteer job in tears because someone has been such an asshole, if I fall behind on the things I need to do, if I just feel shitty for no reasonable reason; all I have to do is find something amazing to listen to and - bam! - it's better.

And I thank the powers that this is so.

Do me proud today my hooches. I noticed yesterday that the light is changing in the sky and it has fall written all over it.

Just Like Audrey Hepburn

It's been a long and hot summer.

And, as mentioned, I've been wearing nothing but skirts, dresses, tanks. Nothing with legs or sleeves. My happiest days are when I can say, "I'm wearing only two things!" Pup usually says, "Take one off!"

That's how hot it's been. And now it's September. And still pretty hot. And I work retail. Where you're running around. And I'm hot. I just am!

Yesterday morning I had to open at The Turnstyle. I haven't opened in a loooooong time. In fact a lot of this hot summer I wasn't at work at all with all the Barnabee squiring I was involved in (smooches Barnabee).

Before I leave for work I stand in front of my closet. Peering into its depths. There is more in there than needs to be - hey, I'm a woman. But just between you and me? That closet is out of control. No matter how much I edit and purge and ween out crap, it's full full full.

Imagine the sound of hangers being shuttled to the left, click click click. I go deeper and deeper.

Aha! A little black dress. Sleeveless. To the knee. A kick pleat in the back. Price tag still on. WTH?

A woman phenomenon. We buy stuff on sale. My favorite phrase is, "It costs less than a latte!" Nothing makes me happier than a price tag with several strikes through the price making it lower and lower and than it's thrown in a 75 percent off rack. Oh the heaven of it all. Even at The Turnstyle, a consignment store, I love when it's at least 50 percent off.

But I digress, of course.

I clip off the tag. Look lovingly at the price. "Ooooo, that was a good shopping day." I slip on the dress.

I like to turn to the side, suck everything in perfectly, admire my front bumps and back bumps, and convince myself how amazing I look. Hey - it's all presentation. Even when you catch a glimpse of the back bump in motion. Oye vey!

I throw my badly behaved hair up high in a clip, pull out some very artful hangy-pieces (yup - otherwise known as what-the-hell hair) and call it a day.

I trot off to work where new young un interim manager/intern Izzy and Shelley-belly tell me I look just like Audrey Hepburn.

Yup, I look exactly like this, right down to the sunglasses and coffee.

Oh the power of a little black dress! And be quiet y'all. A girl can have a moment yes?

Hooches - repeat after me - I may not be everything, but I sure am something!

Go get em!

Overheard

Actually, it was me on the phone, having a conversation with a voter. Read this aloud with a loud voice, full of disdain and derision.

Are you trying to talk to me about gays and lesbians for cryin' out loud? I'm a Republican!

Oh well, at least I wasn't talking to a chair. Although my head does hurt a little bit from banging it against several walls.

It's all the other conversations I had that day that made that headache go away. Bang on Minnesotans!

:)