Saturday, August 21, 2010

Captain Obvious

© O'Neil
 A little while ago my girls taught me a game. I believe they called it Captain Obvious.

You play it in the car. You are driving down the street. You see someone walking/driving/biking/running.

You holler something obvious at them. For instance, when they were teaching me the game we spotted a woman walking. I stuck my head out of the window and hollered, "You are carrying a yellow handbag!" Which, of course, she was.

You supposed to say things like:

You are a man!
You are walking!
Your top is white!

I cannot stop thinking about this game. I have to stop myself every day from playing it. I stop myself because, well, because I'm a spineless fraud? I'm a gutless wonder? Harsh? Maybe?

I drive a Jeep Wrangler (Ruby!) with no top in the summer, so I'm guessing that the two descriptors above are more apt than even I knew since they flew out of my fingers without my thinking about it. I'm just hanging out there for all to see in that damn car. No way to hide in any dim interior.

Plus, the things that spring into my mind when I want to play Captain Obvious while out and about aren't within the rules of the road so to speak (really?? so to speak???)

I want to holler things like:

Dude, you have on colorful underwear!
Are you crossing the street against the light?
You woke up and decided to put on that hat?

. . . and this one because it's summer in Minnesota

Is every damn road around here under construction???

I think I don't get the game. Or I get it and am ignoring the rules. Or I'm a bitch that needs to simmer down a step.


So, I keep my mouth shut. I'm saving it for really important stuff like:

Woman! Love your shoes!


Heff said...

I can't wait to use "You have REALLY LARGE BREASTS !"

J.J. said...

Since MN has winter 9 months out of the year ; ) you should be yelling things like, "You have nice pecs!" whenever you see a cute guy running without his shirt on.

Wait! You do, don't you???

Sandra said...

Every once in a while I stumble upon a blog that I really really like. Yours is just that blog. I would love that Captain Obvious game, however, in my case, I really would be yelling stuff out like, "Dude, you need to not cross when it's my light! I'll run you over I swear I will!" Is that how the game is played??? Probably not, but my version is fun too! I'll be back. I like you!

Anonymous said...

Hahahah...I think I play that game too...well in my head...I make up stuff that I think is going on...sometimes whole stories..maybe I should cut them short and scream them out...I think in my town I would get locked up...they are very uptight around here...and the things I would say are probably true...still I like your take on the game...can we play it in blogland..?

deb-oh-rah said...

In the big city, you can get away with stuff like that -- people are anonymous. But you wouldn't want to yell at someone in another car, or they may swing around and get in your face - or your car's grill.

I live in a small city where you may not know everyone, but you see the same faces around all the time. When someone honks, it doesn't mean you should give them the finger, it means they probably know you and are saying "hi!"

But yelling something nice would be fun, a small act of kindness, brighten someone's day. The world could use a little brightening. :-)

Ca88andra said...

My boys would love this game!

Joann Mannix said...

See, I think this is a good gauge of people's personalities, because as soon as you said this, I thought: I'd be so yelling out things like, Dude you have a nice ass. Or Dude, I'm thinking about what those pecs (chest muscles, I swear, I'm talking chest muscles), look like under that sweaty running shirt.

Hmm. I guess that doesn't say much for me being a happily married mother of 3.

T said...

Well....LOL....another "bitch that needs to simmer down" here.

Because I could (can) totally relate to bending those rules and shouting out what's REALLY on my mind.

Thoughts and words that are preceded by the implicit "PUHLEEEZE" ...?


You CRACK me up. Love you, girl.

Marnie said...

Deborah! You had me in stitches! First off, I've never heard of this game, it sounds like fun. However I really like your twist on it :0)

Deborah said...

Heff - Hey, if it's obvious, why not?

J.J. - Believe me, spring time here is definitely when all the pecs come out to play. I look forward to it like the sun. :)

Sandra - Yes! That's where I was. Exactly!

deb - you'd be surprised how small town even living in the city is. A neighborhood is a neighborhood. I see the same people around and about. But, yeah, definitely like you would!

Ca88 - most people smile at you when you're doing it. Especially if you say nice, obvious things.

Joann - I don't think looking is off the books for us married women! Please say it isn't.

T - Behind the wheel I can get boiling that is certain. Do we do this because it's an acceptable place to blow a gasket? I'll take it. :)

Marnie - You are a darling girl.