Monday, June 4, 2012

Fear of Falling

Age, 26 - this girl was not often afraid

Pup was out of town over the weekend golfing with his sister and her family.

I was originally going, but was gently told that crappy golfers like myself are not welcome on the courses these good golfers would be going to. I was going to hang out on the cart and I don't know what else.

As it turned out I was unexpectedly scheduled to work and had to bow out. So I stayed home and had fun in spite of myself.


I am a crappy golfer. Worse than a crappy golfer.

Part of it is intimidation. Which kinda pisses me off. Why would I allow myself to be intimidated?

I've asked Pup to golf with me, but bottom line I can see that he isn't that into helping a newbie. Or it's me projecting my fears. I don't know!

I don't even exactly know what I'm working through in this moment.

Because if I don't take care of my fears who will? I do have lots of fears that I have to plow through. All the time. Sometimes I am really good at it. I can rear right up into the face of it and holler! Other times I sidestep the fear like the crab (Cancer per my horoscope!) I am.

So . . . let my fears pile up? Hunt a few down and do them in?

I'm not just talking golf here people.

This week I will load my rifle and get me some fear. I will hang the heads on my wall and feel boastful that I killed that one . . . and that one . . . and that one.

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
~ Eleanor Roosevelt

The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.
~ Elbert Hubbard

The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but, it is fear.
~ Gandhi

Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are your own fears.
~ Rudyard Kipling


Anonymous said...

I quit golfing years ago when I was dating a golf pro and he wouldn't let me just play, but rather insisted on giving me CONSTANT instruction. Finally left his @ss on the 17th hole and I drove the cart to the club house and left. No wonder the relationship didn't last long... LOL

T said...

Lovely picture of you, Deborah.

Your points made about our fears made me think of the book I just finished, "Groundswell," by Katie Lee. GREAT book. I highly recommend it. Easy read, and I think YOU will love it.

It is a novel about the main character conquering her own set of fears. Very entertaining.

We all have fears. We masquerade in false bravado most of the time. But the fears are there and DO need to be dealt with ... one by one.

Karen said...

ooooh do I know your woe.

I say, Go get'em, tiger. truly, we have nothing to fear but fear itself.

And I just don't like Golf... good lord, it's boring. I know I just offended a few golfers, but for me, that's just all there is to it.

Ms. A said...

Having never had an interest in golf, other than admiring the manicured greens, that doesn't seem a big loss to me. Challenging the fear is a great thing. If you manage to live through it... it's a win, regardless! Good luck with your challenges.

Not So Simply Single said...

Screw golf.

Go shopping...

So. Cal. Gal said...

I'm not afraid of the BIG things: flying, heights, surgery, etc. But if I see a bee come within 10 feet of me, I freak out. And all I do is swell up. It's not like I'm going to stop breathing or anything. lol!

deb-oh-rah said...

I have an actual fear of falling. I have to pause at the top of our basement stairs and concentrate all the way down where I place my feet and hold on to the wall. Other steep, open stairs make me nervous also. Don't know how to get rid of that fear.

Also a fear of spiders, especially wolf spiders -- demons that come up the drain from the septic system. Ugh!

Right up there is my inner demon, the fear of looking incompetent. That is with me all the time. Continually mentally kicking myself for something I did or said. Every once in a while I might get a compliment that relieves it for an hour or maybe a day. But then soon the subversive, constantly warning voice worms its way back in.

Sarah said...

Laurenzo really does look like you! I can't get over it, and I've known you my whole life :)

Marnie said...

Great points Deborah. I know I've often feel that way too. Just keep on being Deborah and things will always work out for you the way they're intended. xo

P.S. I love the picture and your new blogger picture too.

Anonymous said...

I took a gold class at the U
Still unable to play altho my croquette game has vastly improved
My fear is that i will never see/hear from you

Deborah said...

Diane - you are a pistol! lolol!

T - I am going to check that book out. It sounds great!

Karen - thank you!

Lisa - well, you may have missed the point, but thanks.

SCG - fears are so irrational!

Deb - that voice needs to get a dose of my rifle!

Sarah - does she look like this picture? It's hard to see from my vantage point at times.

Marnie - things do work out. It helps to wander through with words sometimes though doesn't it?