Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Just Give Me a Kiss

Alli-baby had a date last night and was texting me while she was waiting at the pub.

The guy was someone she had worked with a while back and she wanted to see if they had any dating mojo going on.

Her texts were making me laugh out loud. And y'all may remember what happens when I laugh out loud. Small children and animals run for cover. Two things I cannot do quietly - sneeze or laugh.

Alli - I'm here. I'm early. Help me not drink too many glasses of wine before he gets here
Me - Two drinks total! That's all you get!
A - But it's hot!
M - Water!
A - But we'll be outside.
M - WTH? It's hot! Get inside! Cool as the cat!
A - I like to be sweaty!
M - OMG!
A - How should I greet him?
M - You know what to do.
A - Is it okay to grab his balls?
M - aaaaaahahahaha!
M - No, no ball grabbing.
A - What if he doesn't like my hair?
M - Stop it! He already loves your hair!
M - Just flirt and touch him from time to time.
A - Is it bad to touch his ass?
M - [snorting and choking]
M - yeah, that's okay. Go ahead and touch his ass.

silence for a minute

A -Okay, conversation going good. Small talk, blah blah blah
M - No texting during date

I was laughing so hard imagining all of this.

She and I are meeting for lunch today. I am bringing Dating for Dummies with me, but that girl will do what that girl will do.

I cannot stop laughing.

And I wouldn't have sat in the sun. I melt like butter.


Anonymous said...

Wha??? She's texting during the date? OMG, Noooooo. All hands must remain free to grab balls and ass.

Karen said...

Now you got me singing that song!!!....

Ms. A said...

I have three things... sneeze, laugh and cough. Everyone runs for cover and the baby wails.

PS: I hate to sweat!

T said...

Love your blog, Deborah.

I never know when/what as I visit, but I'm guaranteed to be entertained and/or enlightened.

I envy this relationship you have with her funny!

Atta girl, keep those laughs coming.

Anxious to hear how the date went...and btw, ditto on NO TEXTING during dates! Sure way to show lack of interest and possible turnoff. :) Of course, I'm the expert on this, right? LOL

Deborah said...

Diane - yes she did! And LOLOL!

Karen - I'm right there with you! It's not a bad song to have stuck in our heads though.

Ms A - we are alike in ways I never would have imagined!

T-pretty - You are the sweetest. She is now on eHarmony and I am excited for her!