Friday, July 30, 2010

Hot Men Friday

Leonardo DiCaprio

I'm one of the, maybe, two people in the world who refused to see Titanic. Drove my oldest daughter, Bella, INSANE at the time. "Mom! It's awesome"! Her eyes filled with tears. She just couldn't believe I'd be so beastly.

The truth is I wasn't a fan of Leo. And guess what? The boat sank. Can you spell cynical? (Uh uh, I had to spell-check it - ha!)

I saw the spread Rolling Stone did on him and I've enjoyed several of his movies over the past few years.

Pup and I went to see Inception last week. It's good, and it takes you spinning in a few places (not nearly like The Sixth Sense did back in the day though.) and I noticed, once again, that Leo is a damn fine actor. He's a bit fluffy too and I like a tiny bit of fluff on a guy. Chiseled in stone abs kinda scare me!

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Mornings with Moaning and Whining

I got up, stole one of Pup's t-shirts, and went down, down to the Dungeon. Waded through the little spider webs that pop up daily (oh that's so ick), and did my morning workout. Watched the news as well. A tofer. I'm toned here AND there.

I keep forgetting where to breath. Inhale on the approach; exhale on the effort. Sometimes I forget to breath altogether.

It's very easy to talk myself out of going down there because, well, because I'm ME after all, but habits are developed with repetition so I am a repeating BORE at this point.

Don't laugh! You'll be jealous when MY arse is hard and round as an apple. Or is it a peach? Men's asses are apples and women's are peaches yes? No wonder I'm confused. That is way too much fruit.

It's all good.

It's all good until I go upstairs to make my COFFEE and look what I see.

Yep, yesterday's laundry. Still hanging on the line.

Is there something I can do to stretch my mind? Ha!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

The Payoff

The first of my tomatoes! They're little, but look delicious.

Calvin thinks so too.

We had our computer tech out last night and I fed him dinner, Blue Moon, and some red. I was napping in the new recliner while the boys were swearing and installing down in the office.

Life is good.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

There is a Price for Everything

The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing.
~Dizzy Dean explaining how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series.

Monday, July 26, 2010

One Man's Heaven is Another Man's Hell

I love this cartoonist.


I twist my hair. Really often and really energetically.

When I'm thinking, when I'm reading, when I'm talking, when I'm writing, when I'm zoning.

Half the time my hair is in a knot, twisted into a hair clip and chunks pulled out and pinned up on the opposite side. It's crazy, but I've done it since the third grade.

Most bad habits get dropped way before middle school. How many adults do you know that still bite their fingernails? Or use a pacifier?

But twisting is still going on here on my head.


I meant to talk about the idea behind the cartoon.

My heaven is digging at a flea market, going slowly through a thrift store, scoring a find at a consignment store, reading a book I cannot put down, listening to the radio (sometimes), weeding (weird), dusting (told ya), and obsessing.

There are more, but they don't sound interesting. Today anyway.

What are the things that are heavenly to you?

Friday, July 23, 2010

Hot Men Friday

I stole this from Perez Hilton's site. Perez is a bitch, but I loved this CANDID shot.

This is how Jon Hamm looks! Just walking around. {swoon}

And . . . MAD MEN starts Sunday night. Get out your garter belts and scotch and hang on. This is not Modern Family.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

The Ultimate in Xray-wear

Rubber to hide our naughty bits.

The one covering her little snapdragon looks like it could be pokey. Ouch!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010


Something happened on the way to summer.

It's here, we're in the throws of it and something hasn't been happening.


Bike - in garage. Waiting.
George - in backyard. Waiting.
Me - at the chubby table. Waiting.

I exaggerate of course. Kinda.

I've been in my Dungeon of Torture several times a week this summer. Lifting my lady-weights, doing my squats with tush tightened, trying to hold a plank for one minute (20 seconds peeps - 20 flippin' seconds! grr and arg), crunches (oh the nausea), doing my cheatin' pushups (NO upper body strength I'm afraid - workin' it), and . . . more than several times now . . .


Google it if you dare. :)

Yes, I've been rockin' that. No, I'm not wearing a leotard. I don't even own a leotard! Although my hair can look like I have a bad 80s perm.

But now it's on.

Heff (over at HBAG) has started a challenge with a man-bud of his and I think it's a good thing for me to jump on. Not to compete with them, but to kick it to the next level with myself.

Along with this self-challenge is eating for fitness. And lessness. I have my fitness eating plan picked. More about that soon.

I'm out there every day, reading The Anti-Jared, Mark Sisson, Kelly Olexa, Brad Pilon. I'm WISHING my friend T (are you there T?) would start a blog. She is the rockinest of the fit. Think about it girl. Those of us that are fluffy and not tuffy need you.

There is tons of motivation out there and tons of advice and tons of great success stories. I am challenging myself to be a story.

So - off I go to lace up my Asics and walk that chubby dog.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Hot Men Friday

Such a strong face. Manly nose, big smile, dark dark hair, accent. Bingo!


Oh dear!

I mean really, look at that face.

Yes, oddly, even when he looked like this in No Country for Old Men. Intense crazy.

He and Penelope Cruz. Did you see Vicky Cristina Barcelona?

Thursday, July 15, 2010


It's a slippery turd-hill isn't it?

I've volunteered it from time to time. With varying results. But who wants to hear advice? If I've asked for advice it's great. If someone wants to lecture me, get ready for me to put on my sunglasses (the best way to LOOK like you're paying attention - ha!).

We all do think we know best. We've been through it. We've tested the waters. We've seen it from the other side. Patooy! Believe me when I say, NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR IT!
  • Nutrition - uh huh. Want to see my degree?
  • Men - second marriage. Want to hear more?
  • Raising children - I fear for my daughters when they have kids. :)
  • Making coffee - only I can do it right. Oh? You feel the same way? You're wrong.
Run when you hear me say these words, "If you ask me . . ." Because I know you haven't.

But sometimes, unrequested, I get advice from people I meet out and about. Here are two examples from just last week.

Incident #1:
I'm driving home with George (AmStaff Terrier) in the backseat of my Jeep Wrangler, Ruby. I drive it all summer with no top. George is on a leash that I loop through a handle in the front seat the then attach to my gear stick. He mostly loves being in Ruby during the summer. Wind in his large snout and all that.

George is standing in the backseat as I am driving down a residential-type city street, nearly to my turn to go home. A lady is in the right lane and I hear her say something. I don't pay too much attention. It's summer, it's a lovely day, and everyone's windows and convertible tops are down.

She turns onto my street, she turns into my DRIVEWAY! George and I get out. He is on his leash.

Woman: "I wanted to follow you and give you some advice about driving with your dog in the car."
Me: "Really? Me?"
"It's very dangerous to have a dog in a convertible."
"Excuse me"?
"Your dog could die if someone hit you from behind. He could be thrown from the car. It happened to a friend of mine"!
"Ma'am, I have my dog secured in my car."
"Yes, he is on a leash when he's in my car."
"This happened to a friend of mine!"
"Ma'am, I'm sorry to hear that, but my dog is secured in the car."
"You know, people drive with their dogs in the back of pickups."
"My car is not a pickup. He is on a leash."
"I just had to follow you and tell you this."
"I appreciate your concern, but as you CAN SEE, my dog is on a leash."


Incident #2:
I have just arrived at the grocery store. I see a cute, round, older, Jamaican woman unloading her cart and I offer to help. The cart is FULL of pineapples. We start chatting about the specials that are going on in the store and how delicious fruit is at this time of year.

She starts to lecture me about meat. I am a LOVER of meat. I make a joke about how a day without meat is like a day without meat. She doesn't laugh. She starts talking about colon troubles and cancer and we should only eat fruits and vegetables.

Idly, I say, "How do you get your protein? Do you eat eggs"?

She says, "No! Eggs are bad. We don't need the cholesterol."

Then she looks me up and down slowly and says, "YOU don't need the cholesterol."

Oy to the vey.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010


Nothing major going on around here. A few projects as summertime dictates. What's summer unless you're working like a slave in HOT and STICKY weather?

Pup really is working like a slave on the brick. Lots of cutting. He's doing a fabulous job!

Lovely yes?

Little house project turned out awesome.

Check out my small collection of 60s coffee decanters. I swoon for the black and gold.

I have resurrected my momma's empanadas. When I was a kid we called them 'tacos'. My mom was a trailblazer in the burbs with these things. I've never tasted anything like them in any Mexican restaurant. Delicious!

I've had a huge craving for sun tea. Mmmmm!

The garden is coming along nicely. My little experiment with a small chunk of real estate in the back yard will soon pay off. See my zuke flowers? I LOVE zukes. I know I'll be singing the blues in a few weeks when there are billions of them. But zuke bread, zuke preserves, zuke zoodles, zuke in meatloaf; it's never ending. LOVE LOVE.

Tomatoes! I'm hungry for them. Hurry little guys, I want to bite you like an apple.

Look at this! Lovely.

George has had lunch many times with us at Wagners (world famous drive-in. What? You've never heard of it? I'm sorry for you! It's the kind of place where they handpat their burger patties and use a small bun. No, I'm not talking about my buns.

As always, Calvin is a demanding bastard. 'Where's my lunch woman'?

And I'm eating blueberries like they're in season a short time. I do believe my tongue is permanently blue. Mmmm!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010


Me, winning an award, really, yes, that's me. Don't make me hurt you.

I received the Going Places award from You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun over at Things I Like to Eat. This girl is so sassy and funny that I am profoundly sad when there hasn't been a post for a few days. And we share a love for atomic dishware. I believe I could have given birth to her in a parallel universe.

The award stipulates stating where I would like to find myself in ten years.

Ten years? Will I still be alive? :)

Hopefully I'll have a job by then. And maybe a wee grandbaby or two. I hope I'm still driving Ruby, my Wrangler, driving Pup crazy, laughing at crazy crap, trying to be open-minded, and able to tell a story.

I also received the Blog with Substance award from the lovely and talented J.J. from over at The World According to J.J.

Again, check out her writings. She is just the kind of smart aleck that creeps into your heart and makes you glad you're a reader.

For this award I'm to sum up my blogging philosophy, motivation, and experience using five words.

Really? Five words? This could be tough. Especially since I haven't been very sassy myself for a while. Summer delight is sucking all the profound right out of me. I'm stuffed with sunny warmness and no angst. Ha!

So, here goes; my five words:


Thanks also to Marla over at Butts and Ashes. She also gifted me with the ten years assignment, but no button to share. Just her delightful blog. Read her! Obey me!

Thank you, my fellow bloggers, for your nods of appreciation my way. It means more than I can express.

Monday, July 12, 2010


Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right.
~Henry Ford

Friday, July 9, 2010

Don't You Wish You Could Sleep Like This?

Calvin was demanding equal time. I didn't want to get slapped with a union grievance. Wuss!

Real reason - playing with my YouTube and my camera settings.

Hot Men Friday

I am feeling all cornball again. What is up with that?

Heard an interview on the radio with Burton Cummings the other day. He was promoting a new album and I think they were talking about how he hadn't made an album in 20 years.

American Woman
These Eyes
No Time
No Sugar Tonight

I must have seen these guys over a dozen times in concert. I went to see Burton Cummings on his own as well. Back in his porn mustache and white suit (alá Saturday Night Fever) days. Had, of course, the HUGEST rock-crush on him.

I was checking out his Twitter account and he sounds like he may have done just a little too much creative medication over these long rock-studded years. Or maybe he's just that deep (really?). Doesn't it seem that many super-creatives are living on the end of crazy-town? I like that. Keeps the world interesting.

Lenny can suck it. Turn this one up.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

George Goes to the Vet

Guest Blogger - George

It's morning, the sun is shining, I'm happy as that dog licking his balls that my owner is always talking about. Oh wait . . . I don't have balls. BALLS!

Oh oh. She's attaching the leash in the car. This could mean a few things. She could be taking me to Wagner's Drive-In, she could be taking me to the dog park, she could be taking me to the groomers, or she could be taking me to the vet! BALLS!

Maybe if I stare at Pup's car long enough he'll come rescue me. Nothing bad EVER happens to me when Pup's around. Oh wait . . . Pup drove his little car! BALLS!

May as well settle down and get comfy. She drives like a maniac and I should keep my head down in case of flying expletives. BALLS!

Oh - this is good. She knows just how to rub my neck. Okay, I kinda like her. Even when she brings me here. BALLS!

Oh dear! Who the heck is that?? Arrrg! This can't be good! They're probably going to tell me how adorable I am and weigh me and stick this thing in my neck and call it a "shot" and take blood. Oh the inhumanity! Wait . . . I'm a dog. I keep forgetting.

Oh the incaninity of it! BALLS!

Really? We're done? Keep your damn low-fat treat. I'm going home. I'm going to roll in the grass and drink water. I'm going to listen to everything she ever says to me from now on. I'll never go out of an open gate again. I'll never jump on delivery guys and scare the living crap out of them. I promise! BALLS!

My screen debut. And her first, ahem, attempt to video my cuteness. And it's about BALLS!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Sick Mac

Sad sac mac.

Yes, there are thousands of PCs in this house, (that may be a slight exaggeration) but when your one and only is on the fritz nothing is the same.

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone.

Can't get to my STUFF peeps! MY STUFF! All my important stuff!

Ironically, Pup's PCs are sick on a daily basis. My mac - NEVER!

Send me good thoughts; even if you hate Macs. Which I'm guessing some of you do because that's just how it goes. And when people hate Macs they ALWAYS have to tell me.

That's okay. We can take it.


I'm armed and diverting - uh, I mean, dangerous.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

I Miss Amy Winehouse

The lovely Amy before all the crazy.

Yes, I've seen all the photos. Seen her idiocy splashed across the internet like a spilled cocktail. Yes I know she's just this side of crack-crack-crazy. But watch this little video and tell me that isn't talent.

I selfishly want her to get better and healthy so I can have a new CD from her. My daughter, Lorenzo, mentioned that she heard a new CD is coming out soon and I, for one, am waiting excitedly.