Sunday, April 11, 2010

Story

When I married Pup I got five new sisters.

Yes, I said that.

FIVE freakin' sisters! I have one. I can't imagine having five!

I do think he's the sweetie he is because he has so many sisters and four of them are older than him. He totally knows how women work. For the most part. ;)

They're all lovely women, but a couple of them are my favs. Penny Lane (stripper name - again to protect the not-so-innocent) being my absolute favorite partner-in-crime.

We've hung out several times; all of them memorable.
  1. The time we sat on the porch at my house in the hood, got an itch to smoke cigarettes (wth???) and DROVE to the nearest convenience store, which was four blocks away) after having too many margaritas because we didn't want to walk in my neighborhood in the dark. We easy-breazied right on past all the police that were hanging out there. Got our cigarettes. Oh we are dorks. Neither of us were smokers! I had the worst hangover ever.
  2. Then the time we went to a club with Deb-oh-rah and were trying to find guys for Penny. Every guy I found she wasn't interested in. She wanted a sexy long-haired blond guy that was already there with a woman. Penny is trouble! So we played pool and I had to detach from the guys I WAS finding. Funny how guys in bars think if you engage them in convo you're going to give up a phone number. I still have Dave-the-Handyman's biz card though.
  3. Then there was our bowling banquet . . .
Pup, Penny, Pup's nephew, and I were on a Sunday night league for a couple of years and the bowling banquet was always a blast.

Pup and I met Penny in the bar before the banquet started, played some pulltabs, and had a few pre-game cocktails.

We went in to the venue-room to have our chicken and get our awards.

During the dinner we had more cocktails and Penny slipped outside to chat with some of her friends from the banquet.

She was gone a loooooooooooooong time.

One of the women came up to me and said,

"You might want to check on Penny. She's in the woman's room."

"What is she doing"? I asked.

"Not much from the looks of it," said the woman.

Pup looked at me and said,

"This one's for you babe."

So I go into the woman's room to find Penny.

There she is. Locked in a stall. Asleep on the toilet. With her panties around her ankles. I'm peeking underneath like a total perv.

"Penny! It's me! Come on - let's go. Your chicken is getting cold"!

"Schmible," retorts Penny.

"Bootmbee. Wanna gets a drink."

"Penny! Come out"! I'm banging away on the door.

"Wha"?

"Everyone is waiting for you"!

"F-em. Where's ma pursh"?

"Penny - pull up your panties and unlock the door."

"Wha"?

"PULL UP YOUR PANTIES AND UNLOCK THE DOOR"!!!

Women are looking at me like I've lost my only mind and running out the door.

"PULL UP YOUR PANTIES PENNY! PULL UP YOUR PANTIES AND UNLOCK THE DOOR"!!

Success.

God we laugh so hard about this one. Many of us have been there sweetie!

I can't wait to plan our next hair-raising event.

10 comments:

Daisy said...

I LOVED this story. :-) My Man has 3 sisters all older than him. I really do believe that's why he knows so much about women.

Secretia said...

A good story, has a familiar feel to it too :)

Blasé said...

I could be wrong, but I do believe Penny had too much to drink??

Laffylady said...

I Deborah..Thanks for following..Ok you just email me a link, (or just email me the post whatever you like).. of your favorite funny post, past or present and I will put you on the calendar..Then I will let you know what date you are starring and I will link back to your blog..the day before you go on you can put a little something (like the button, or a blurb stating that you are featured on Laugh Out Loud..and thats it...EnJoY..!

Laffylady said...

Oh email it to ..laffylady@gmail.com..Thanks..!

J.J. said...

If a guy having 5 sisters makes him a 'sweety', what does that make a girl (me) who has 5 brothers? I know what I'd say. ; )

Blasé said...

Hey D Sweetie, I've got some pics for you over at my Place...

Ms. Anthropy said...

Having 3 older brothers has helped and hurt my youngest daughter, but I can definitely see Pup's advantage having sisters (must give him a huge understanding of PMS)

Ca88andra said...

Very funny!

Marnie said...

:0)))))))))))))