I don't remember exactly when I fell in love with Dorothy Parker.
It could have been when I was in high school and obsessed with everything to do with The Marx Brothers. I don't know what that was about, but I would ride city buses to unknown and shady parts of town to just see a random showing of one of their movies.
While in that obsession I read everything I could get my hands on regarding The Marx Brothers. Harpo being my favorite. During all those readings I found out about The Algonquin Round Table. And with that, my discovery of Dorothy Parker.
For years I used her What fresh hell is this? as my tagline on the many forums I frequented. It made me smile every time I saw it scripted out below my name. It makes me smile still.
Here are a few of my favorite quotes of hers. I'm going to kick back and enjoy each one like a caramel that I savor very very slowly.
Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host.
What fresh hell is this?
Tell him I was too fucking busy - or vice versa.
I hate writing, I love having written.
There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words.
It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.
Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.
Writing is the art of applying the ass to the seat.
It's a small apartment, I've barely enough room to lay my hat and a few friends.
This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.
If you're going to write, don't pretend to write down. It's going to be the best you can do, and it's the fact that it's the best you can do that kills you.
Sorrow is tranquility remembered in emotion.