Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Things Said to Me

I worked yesterday at my little consignment store. I worked the middle shift, which is noon until 7 p.m., so I worked with both Shelly-Belly, who was in a GREAT mood, and Nicolina, who was in a TERRIBLE mood.

I was thinking how, even though I'm having a devil of a time regulating my new bio structure with my compounding pharmacist and having hot flashes that throw me into stripper-mode and then right into frozen-pop mode, I'm rarely crabby.

I didn't even realize it. I'm certain anyone around me realized it. THEY realized I haven't had any irrational spouts of anger followed by pouting.

I realized I've been feeling simply happy. Not dance around a maypole happy, but just kinda happy. Plain happy. I should search out a new word. A more descriptive word? Content? That's not it. Calm? Maybe . . . hmm maybe.


So while at the store, in the evening, close to the time I would be leaving, a woman came in with her two sons. Their ages were most likely 3 and 6.

She was trying to shop and the boys were in their moods. They were tired, probably a little hungry, and not loving the consignment store experience.

While they were checking out, the patient mother (she was the gold-standard for patient; a real doll of a girl) was dealing with the youngest that was, in this moment, being a handful. A real handful!

She had a huge pile of stuff and was trying to help me extract hangers and give her stash one last look-over. The youngest was being a little boy. My attention, however, was on the older boy.

He stood there very patiently, on his best behavior, watching me take off tags, fold the clothes, put them in bags.

I leaned over and said, "What are you going to have for supper? What are you in the mood for?"

He thought carefully and said, "I don't know! I'll have to think about it more!"

I winked at him and said, "I think you are the cutest boy I have seen in months. How is it being so darn cute and smart?"

He grinned at me and said nothing.

While talking to the older boy the younger boy was watching me intently. The attention had redirected from him and his badish behavior and he was puzzled by it a tad. He was used to the focus being all on him when in the midst of a mini-tantrum.

His big eyes followed every move I was making.

I handed one of the bags of clothes to the older boy and said, "You have good muscles, I bet you can help your momma carry her purchases out to your car. How does this feel?

He said, "I can carry it! I am strong!"

The momma was smiling at me, thanking me with her eyes.

When they left, the older boy said to his momma, "Please let's come back here, she said I was cute!"

His little 6 year-old face was just beaming. His little body wriggling with pleasure as he held the bag of clothes to help his momma.

Such a little exchange and such a huge reward for me. I was totally emotional the rest of the evening whenever I saw his little face in my mind.

I'm not sure what I'm trying to say today. Maybe how I need to pay attention to moments like that. I'm so glad I did pay attention to that moment. And that children only want us to pay attention. Not just to the bad behavior, which always gets attention, but to the good behavior.

I want him to come back in to the store as well.

smooches my hooches


Anonymous said...

It's always a treat to be in the presence of a good child. What a great moment you and the boy had with one another. :-)

Linnea said...

Way to go Sis!! That was a great story. Made me tear up a little...
Amazing what positive vibes can do!

Ms. A said...

And that is exactly the way to do it! Positive attention to the good (boy) and no attention to the bad (boy)... or mood. Funny how the bad boy, or mood, get the most attention!

Karen said...

I love exchanges like that, and yes, they need to happen more often.

deb-oh-rah said...

Sweet. That would choke me up to.

Marnie said...

What a great experience! I'm so glad you did that. He walked out feeling 10 feet tall :0) I hope you get to see him again too! Nice job Deborah!

Sally said...

So very, very sweet. I love this story. :)