Friday, February 25, 2011

Hot Men Friday

The Hurt Locker?

The Town?

He plays intense very intensely. I'm kinda loving him.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Roba Dolce

You may or may not remember when these lovelies arrived at my house one day a few weeks ago.

This is what is left. Yes, I sacrificed myself in the name of product review to - ahem - sample these. If by sample you mean devour, sometimes in one day, all of these. Me. All of these. No help. Not even from Pup (he's a staunch vanilla guy; the end).

First, I have to say I learned something new. I learned something has a name that I had been doing my whole life but didn't know it. Temper. Which means melty in my world. The  instructions on the carton say to let the product temper for 10 minutes. Back when we would say, "pull the Rocky Road out of the freezer so it gets melty"! Of course now I microwave it for a bit because I just can't wait very long when I'm about to have a treat. No governor Governor. I wish it were so, but nope.

I learned that gelato is creamy deliciousness. Lovely creamy with less fat and sugar than ice cream. I learned that it's not a good idea for me to be left alone with any of these.

Especially this one. Dark chocolate. It was almost too much. I said almost.

This one was my FAVORITE! Somehow the good peeps over at Roba Dolce knew better than to give me a big one. I do believe I was licking the empty like a dog with a peanut butter jar. It was kinda sad to witness. This is why I ate it alone.

When I first ate the little one I thought, "Oh, this one I can live without." I lied. I adored all the little chunks of coconut that were floating around in there. The flavor was delicate and so creamy. I usually don't like the word creamy (it's right up there with moist), but what better word??

Same with this one. I mistakenly thought I didn't like it when I had the small one. Again, how wrong can a sorbetto-eater be?? The lemon was tart without being overwhelming. I want more when it's hot outside.

I may have said that the mango was my favorite, but again I lied. I opened up this one and kept returning to the freezer to get it out for "one more taste" until I was worried I had cooked all the pistachios with all the microwaving that was going on.

Thanks Roba Dolce and Karen from This Old House 2 for letting me be a part of this. I'm sad it's over! Although I do blame both of you for the #dietfail that has been going on for the past month.

*Let me add that I have not been paid for this review.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

I Love the Smell of Regret in the Morning

I'm going into an office regularly the past few weeks. No, I don't have a job yet, but I'm working in Pup's office putting my education to work.

He's training me on a few things.

Have you been trained on anything by your husband? You have? Does he still have his nipples (Pup actually hides his when we're having a 'discussion' ala Doug from King of Queens).

I'm being trained on a simple, yet many stepped process. Involving so many steps. Damn! These accountant-types are so exacting! WTH? What's a few missed steps? (Witness Pup clutching not only his nipples, but his heart.)

A few of you have been in my brain. You know this can't be easy.

The first session went well. I only said he was mean four or five times and I should file a grievance with Human Resources because I don't think your boss is supposed to run into your office randomly to squeeze your boobies or exclaim, "Show me Felix"! But that's how we roll at The Firm.

In the first training, I diligently made notes. A few pages worth. He was throwing lots of terms and phrases at me. I'm sure talk like this was a panty-dropper in his past, but no panties were dropping. I'm all about working when I'm at The Firm.

At the second training session, I take out my notes to start the process and I draw a blank. The notes look like they were written in Latin. Or by a first grader. You pick. What the hell was I talking about?

I throw my hands in the air, "None of this makes sense"! I say. "I can't tell how to begin."

"What do you mean Sweetie? Let's start this payroll."

Pup looks at me over his reading glasses with a look in his eye. Could that be regret? Could it be the realization that I'm not really born to do this kind of work? Could it be he needs to wait a hot minute before thinking me totally goofusy?

The hardest thing about training someone is they aren't in your head understanding everything being done. I've trained people in the past. It's hard to not think them dumbasses.

Poor Pup. He wants help. He needs help. I'm available.

"Let's start writing procedures." I say in my corporate-voice. "I'm going to write every step down. Every step.

Again he looks at me. He can tell I mean it.

We go through the process once more. I'm writing every step down.

He looks at me over his glasses again. He has a look in his eye. Could that be hope?

It will be good. It's just hard to see the end when you're at the beginning.

Meanwhile, me and Felix close the door to our office and work.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Feb 16, 2011

I've been reading different blogs all over the country and it looked like many places were experiencing a bit of a thaw.

When I left the office the other day (I am doing some work for Pup) I thought the air felt a bit balmy. Holy Hannah I guess it was a bit balmy!
Yes, my outside gauge actually reads 58. This is mostly interesting to peeps here in Minnesota since last week the temperatures were below zero.

I'm not a fan of the February thaw. It plays with my emotions and gets me thinking Spring is in my future. It will be a while. Quite a while. I really shouldn't be with other people in February since I'm such a little joy to be around.


I was stopped at a traffic light in case anyone wants to call me out. Heh! My phone really isn't that grubby although I just had to have white didn't I??

Friday, February 18, 2011

Hot Men Friday

Jose Maria Yazpic

I netflixed The Burning Plain. Such a good movie. 

I hadn't seen this man before. I hope I see much more of him.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

The Fool on the Hill

I feel sorry for all the stupid peeps of late.

I feel sorry that we are all enthralled with a 25 year-old woman that 'incubates' in an EGG for the cryin' out loud and we all sit enthralled.

I feel sorry that some drunken or insensitive or in-the-moment dolt sends out a text - tweet - FB update - and the world applauds or rants.

I feel sorry we iconize young women singers/actresses/media whatevers then villainize them when they act like the young-learners they really are.

I feel sorry for all the 20-somethings that get their idiocy recorded on phone cameras/videos for posterity. I'm sorry, but if HALF of the incredibly idiotic things I did as a 20-something were recorded for evermore no one would speak to me again. Our 20s are for mistake making. And mistake fixing.

I feel sorry women feel compelled to lumpify their facial features with whatever the hell is going on in the dermatilogical world. I see face after formerly-lovely face lumpied up with what the hell is it? - collagen? botox? I just saw Nicole Kidman in the new Adam Sandler/Jennifer Aniston movie and was SHOCKED at her face. She is 44 years old! I also heard a local radio show duo go on and on how 'lovely' Joan Rivers looks. I can't even talk about that one.

I feel sorry young men are left holding handbags while their girlfriends/wives shop.

I feel sorry young men can't sow their wild oats without some young, not finished-cooking-woman writes a song about what a cad he was.

I feel sorry so many young peeps are not parented. Guess what? We, as parents, are NOT THEIR FRIENDS.

I feel sorry that families fight and don't speak to each other. For years.

I feel sorry that parents think they have to take their children EVERYWHERE. This makes no one happy. Least of all the children. Why would a child want to spent hours in Ikea??

I feel sorry I had to spend hours in Ikea with other peep's children. One precious little girl kept following me around muttering and asking me for something. She was probably begging me to get her the hell out of Ikea. Her bearded, hipster-type dad was frantically trying to find said child and showed his impotence as a parent with his, "Philadelphia, do you need more organic juice? Do you need to go potty? Do you need a snack"? Dude, all she needs is a nap. Get her the hell home.

I feel sorry I'm such a curmudgeon of late. I'm BUGGED with my fellow man's arrogance! I nearly hit a woman with my car yesterday as she was walking down a very busy two-lane street. Walking against traffic. I need to mention that there is an f-ing sidewalk right there that her ass should have been walking on. A cleared sidewalk I might add. The street is smaller with piled snow so she was virtually walking IN THE STREET. A busy city street where the speed limit is 45 miles per. Good god woman! I nearly crapped my pants I was so shook up. This isn't the first time I've witnessed this phenom. For some reason people in my neighborhood don't think they need to use the sidewalks. WTF???

----------long sigh


I had no idea this was all coming. This up here I mean ^.

I feel a calm rushing over me.

Well, at least until something else bugs the living hell out of me.


Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Monday, February 14, 2011

Valentine's Day

If you have a Valentine honey, yay you. If you are your Valentine honey, yay you. We really are all we need. It's nice to have a honey, but it's an add-on, not an absolute. Either way it's a good thing.

Here is what Pup had the flower-man bring me today. I was deep into making sense of a senseless situation and looked it. The look on that man's face was something I wish I had gotten off a Blackberry shot of.

Daisies are my favorite flowers. This little bouquet is colorful and so lovely.

I was feeling fretful and obnoxious today. Must be the storm before the calm. Yes!

Happy Valentines everyone. You all mean more to me than an 80 percent off sign on a rack of lovely STUFF!

Smooches my hooches.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Till There Was You

I never accredit The Beatles when I use their song titles. Which I use a lot. I always figure everyone knows all of The Beatles song titles like I do. I think I may be wrong about that.

Say what?? I'm wrong?



Chez Emerson - flooring update
After several days of eye-watering and brain-damaging chemical smells, here is the floor. It is still to get the final coat and polishing (after we get the trim put up), but look how GORGEOUS!!
How lovely is that? I am swoony a bit. Swoony and loony, but I am LOVING my floor.

We went with a low-grade hickory to achieve this look:
This is Tigerwood (yeah, I found the name funny as hell as well), but it was very expensive. Out of our budget expensive. The woman at our floor guy's distributor helped me come up with a cost-friendly solution. Hickory was more expensive than oak, but truly got me the look I was going for.

I am in LOVE!

Saturday, February 12, 2011

In Keeping with Keeping

I feel on edge when I live in a space that isn't orderly. When it isn't tidy. When it isn't CLEAN!

But . . . I've done pretty good so far. I've ignored the fridge in the dining room. I've ignored layers of dust. I've ignored every spoon and coffee cup in the house being dirty.

It's ever so sweet right now because the end is soooooooo in sight and I am taking the very sage and smart advice from several of my readers and I'm hiring a small team (well okay, there are two of them) to help me get out from under the dust. I'm happy about that!

Pup is clutching his chest just thinking about it, but I told him to blow me. Smooches Pup and sorry I stole your line!

He'll be fine. It's double hard on him with all of this because he's in the throws of his busy season and all of this is unsettling. Poor baby Pup.


You sometimes see a woman who would have made a Joan of Arc in another century and climate, threshing herself to pieces over all the mean worry of housekeeping.  
~Rudyard Kipling

Don't cook. Don't clean. No man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum - "My God, the floor's immaculate. Lie down, you hot bitch."
~Joan Rivers

I'm not going to vacuum until Sears makes one you can ride on.
~Roseanne Barr

This mess is a place!
~Author Unknown

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
~Author Unknown

When I have company, I don't clean the house, I just throw a sheet over the furniture and say I'm remodeling.
~Phyllis Diller

Friday, February 11, 2011

Hot Men Friday

Adam Sandler

I went to a posh high school in a posh neighborhood. We weren't all that posh, but it was interesting hanging with the rich and kinda famous. I developed a huge crush on all the smart, Jewish men in my school.

Quick witted, smart, funny, and a big nose. I'm all over the nose.

This particular guy doesn't pull my trigger necessarily, but he has that hangout factor.

Well, maybe he pulls it a little bit. Okay, he pulls it a lot. I just didn't want ya'll making fun of me.

Wouldn't you love to have him over for game night and cocktails? You wouldn't need to do any crunches for a week from all the laughing.
And his movie with Jennifer Anniston is opening today.

It will more than likely be a stinker, but I love (watching her in) all of her movies (mostly) and I am hoping this one will be funny. Please?

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Maxwell's Silver Hammer

These floor-boys are seriously cute. Like a little more dust is going to make a hill of beans difference.
After all, my fridge is in my dining room! Ha!

Monday, February 7, 2011

Everybody's Trying to Be My Baby

I met a friend for breakfast yesterday. A great restaurant, where the style-of-the day is usually Born shoes, North Face jackets, no makeup with straight bobs, and lots of old-school Coach handbags.

Reechie and I settled in and our server comes over to introduce himself and ask what we want to drink.

Server: How are you both today?

Us: We're great! How are you?

Server: Well, I'm not feeling too well today. I'm feeling, in fact, pretty horrible, but you know, you have to go to work.

Uh - okay.

For the record, it didn't stop him from looking down my shirt which I don't mind, but he was incredibly delighted to be looking down my shirt even though he didn't feel too well.

Reechie says to me, "I hope he's not going to take our order"? We both kinda laugh and wait for him to bring our beverages.

When he comes back with our tea, Reechie decides she would rather have coffee and says to our server, he of the hang-dog face, "I'll keep the tea, but would you bring me a cup of coffee as well and some cream"?

Server: Now?

Reechie: Yes please.

Server: Now . . . ?

Reechie: When you can please.

Uh - okay . . .

I said, "Maybe he'd prefer it if we came back for the coffee later tonight"?

By now we're giggling away, hoping our server doesn't barf or cry or start looking up our skirts or whatever the hell crazy servers do.

We order, our breakfasts are delivered, they are delicious, we enjoy them.

Server has to stop by five times to see if we love our eggs. For real. Until I want to poke out his sick eyes with hot sticks. Hot sticks that I would set on fire with a lighter and then flick under his ass if he didn't leave us alone.

Uh - okay?

He comes back to say goodbye to my cleavage and bring our bill.

I was laughing the rest of the day.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

What's on My Phone?

yep, I ate it
Calvin looking worried
hope springs fresh every day

Friday, February 4, 2011

Hot Men Friday

Mark Ruffalo

I love how his hair looks like he just got out of bed.

Yep, that's how my mind works.

I also love how he's everyman. He's just the guy. Except he has great hair, dark brown eyes I want to have a conversation with, and a lopsided smile.