Thursday, February 17, 2011

The Fool on the Hill

I feel sorry for all the stupid peeps of late.

I feel sorry that we are all enthralled with a 25 year-old woman that 'incubates' in an EGG for the cryin' out loud and we all sit enthralled.

I feel sorry that some drunken or insensitive or in-the-moment dolt sends out a text - tweet - FB update - and the world applauds or rants.

I feel sorry we iconize young women singers/actresses/media whatevers then villainize them when they act like the young-learners they really are.

I feel sorry for all the 20-somethings that get their idiocy recorded on phone cameras/videos for posterity. I'm sorry, but if HALF of the incredibly idiotic things I did as a 20-something were recorded for evermore no one would speak to me again. Our 20s are for mistake making. And mistake fixing.

I feel sorry women feel compelled to lumpify their facial features with whatever the hell is going on in the dermatilogical world. I see face after formerly-lovely face lumpied up with what the hell is it? - collagen? botox? I just saw Nicole Kidman in the new Adam Sandler/Jennifer Aniston movie and was SHOCKED at her face. She is 44 years old! I also heard a local radio show duo go on and on how 'lovely' Joan Rivers looks. I can't even talk about that one.

I feel sorry young men are left holding handbags while their girlfriends/wives shop.

I feel sorry young men can't sow their wild oats without some young, not finished-cooking-woman writes a song about what a cad he was.

I feel sorry so many young peeps are not parented. Guess what? We, as parents, are NOT THEIR FRIENDS.

I feel sorry that families fight and don't speak to each other. For years.

I feel sorry that parents think they have to take their children EVERYWHERE. This makes no one happy. Least of all the children. Why would a child want to spent hours in Ikea??

I feel sorry I had to spend hours in Ikea with other peep's children. One precious little girl kept following me around muttering and asking me for something. She was probably begging me to get her the hell out of Ikea. Her bearded, hipster-type dad was frantically trying to find said child and showed his impotence as a parent with his, "Philadelphia, do you need more organic juice? Do you need to go potty? Do you need a snack"? Dude, all she needs is a nap. Get her the hell home.

I feel sorry I'm such a curmudgeon of late. I'm BUGGED with my fellow man's arrogance! I nearly hit a woman with my car yesterday as she was walking down a very busy two-lane street. Walking against traffic. I need to mention that there is an f-ing sidewalk right there that her ass should have been walking on. A cleared sidewalk I might add. The street is smaller with piled snow so she was virtually walking IN THE STREET. A busy city street where the speed limit is 45 miles per. Good god woman! I nearly crapped my pants I was so shook up. This isn't the first time I've witnessed this phenom. For some reason people in my neighborhood don't think they need to use the sidewalks. WTF???

----------long sigh


I had no idea this was all coming. This up here I mean ^.

I feel a calm rushing over me.

Well, at least until something else bugs the living hell out of me.



Shabbygal said...

WOW! I hope you feel better now! I agree with you so sick of so much of what is going on in the world these days. If I have endure an over tired screaming child with parents trying to negotiate a deal for them to shut up in Target so they can continue to look at clothes for themselves or shoes one more time I might lose it! Parents today don't seem to get the fact they are the parent not a friend or negotiator and the child doesn't always have to be happy with your decision. Sorry I ranted.That is my pet peeve! Take the kid home put them to bed! Hope you have a lovely day! Traci

R. Jacob said...

I feel your pain. Sometimes I wonder what people are thinking when they see me. Shuddering, I try to forget that thought. Especially when I am singing and dancing at a concert! ha ha

Sarah said...

How can you be so humbug when the weather is so nice? It's got me in a perma-grin while it lasts.

Well, I say that knowing that if someone bugs me at work or school, I will be crankified in a second ;c)

Deborah said...

Traci - exactly what I think!

RJ - I don't even know what you are talking about?

Sarah - I'm such a curmudgeon that all I think when it is so warm like this is, "shit, this won't last; it's only February." I'm a mess!

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

1. i assume you're talking about that fucking ridiculous trainwreck of a "performer", lady gaga. everything about that crazy bitch makes me sick.

2. i also spit venom on the topic of moms-acting-like-friends. there's one particularly close to my life and i can't even stand to hear stories about what that failure and her kids are up to.

"Philadelphia, do you need more organic juice?" bwaaaaahhahahahah. come to southern california. you hear this inane booshet everywhere you go.

silvergirl said...

Loving your post today
Haven't we, the "older" generation all thought the same thing??
Dealing with one of those parent types right now. She just doesn't get it. Her kid is named after a city too. HHHAAA

Karen said...

As for the Gaga phenom... I really don't get it. I think she looked sick with her temple and shoulder horns and eggmobile. REALLY???.... is this really entertaining?

You hit all the nails right on the head and I just don't have any answers.

Marnie said...

I get this. I feel the same way too.

David L Macaulay said...

But IKEA's a great playground for kids. I wish I had one nearby so as they could bounce all over the sofas and hang off the fancy lamps.

Actually one thing that really bugs me is guys on rickety bikes who ride TOWARDS me in the half light without lights. I think it would be a community service to hit them. How come they can't even ride in the same direction as the traffic?

J.J. in L.A. said...


One thing that bugs the crap out of me is people who turn onto our street, change their mind, then do a 3/4 turn in the middle of the narrow road instead of driving 10 more feet and pulling into a driveway.

Ca88andra said...

I find writing things down always help me to feel better - hope its the same for you! At the moment the only thing bugging me is stupid drivers - usually the elderly. Oh dear, I must have something against old people at the moment...

Deborah said...

Lucky Gun - I like some of the new names I see out there (gads I'm such a geezer) but for realz?

Sgirl - I'm so glad I'm not 20 something now like my daughters. Although they are doing just fine.

Karen - Lady Gag Gag I call her. I just don't get it! Wasn't one Madonna enough? (Who I love BTW - mistakes and all)

Marnie - I think nearly hitting that woman seriously threw me into the deep end of the pool.

David - our Ikea (all of them maybe?) actually HAS a playground for all the little darlings. Although those plastic balls still give me nightmares just thinking about what's at the bottom.

J.J. - I was so filled with road rage the other day I scared myself!

Ca88 - you are right! It did make me feel better.

Lo Lo said...

Well, at least this makes two of us in the family. I have definitely been feeling very curmudgeon-y!! Sometimes I wake up recently and think... is this really my life?? >:I

Deborah said...

Lo Lo - smooches my baby. I know.

T said...


And I'm STILL laughing about the woman in the street...

Laughing out loud!!!!

The Katzbox said...

she was walking in the street? Please don't tell me was texting...if you would have hit her, the list of suspects would have been too long for the police to investigate EVERYONE.

I would have said to the hubs later that nite: Hey honey, I ran into this really clueless girl today while running errands. She pissed me off so bad, I backed up and ran into her again...... (that's one of my favorite jokes)


Deborah said...

Tpretty - it was a very weird moment. I'll never get this phenom!

Kat - I've heard that joke! Only it was "I ran into my ex-husband, so I backed up and ran into him again."

I'm here all week.

Marla said...

You are truly brilliant in my book.