Sunday, May 30, 2010

Embarrassing

I have received the celebrated and coveted Oh My Blog award.

Of course, there are conditions attached. The one that seemed achievable for me is telling an embarrassing tale.

As you may guess, I have many. I have said more than once that "freak magnet" must be sparking off of my aura because that is what I attract. Maybe freak is harsh. Let's call them INTERESTING.

Examples:
  • The guy who, out of dozens of cars on the freeway, chose me to drive next to and show me his wiener while he was MASTURBATING! Umm, yeah. I won a prize telling that story on a local radio show.
  • The guy who followed me around several tag sales (a street was having a neighborhood collaboration) and at the third sale, sidled up to me while I was checking out a couple of event pompoms stating, "I bet you have a nice cheerleading outfit at home you should try on for me." Aaaah! I won another prize from the same radio station telling that story as well.
  • How about the guy that pinched my nipples at a club stating, "Oh! Look how the little rascals like me"!
  • And who can forget the guy on a city bus that showed my daughter and I how his shirt pulled on his underarm hairs and how much that bothered him.
  • This one isn't that creepy, but I found it interesting because I do believe he was walking to his car after a Promise Keepers rally. He was walking behind me as we walked to our cars (I was going home after work) and as he passed me he whispered in my ear, "I bet your husband is a happy man."

I guess these aren't as embarrassing as they are INTERESTING; to me anyway. :P

I have to say though, that the memory that really sprang into my mind when I thought about the most embarrassing moment is the time I was exiting a city bus.

I had on a summer skirt that wrapped around and fastened in the front with two ties. The skirt was longish and as I stepped down the bus steps, the hem of my skirt brushed on the step above me.

A woman behind me accidentally stepped on my hem and as I walked away my skirt was totally RIPPED OFF OF ME. On a downtown Minneapolis corner. At 8:00 in the morning.

There I stood for a brief second in my pink and white lacies. Oh dear god, I am turning red just remembering this. I grabbed up my skirt, tucked it around me as effectively as I could, and walked with head down quickly quickly to my office.

I was never so happy to get to work and find a safety pin.

11 comments:

Blasé said...

The 'Promise Keepers' dude probably wanted to pinch your nipples, but because of the 'pep rally' he attended, he could only do a half-way flirtation one-liner.

Blasé said...

..oh, why is there a kitty-face over the pussy???

Daisy said...

OH*MY!!!

Heff said...

Apparently you attract a nice sort of man, lol !

The Empress said...

Isn't it funny, the things we forget about until someone asks us to remember them?

So many memories.

Have a wonderful weekend.

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

these guys all sound HOT.

J.J. said...

Don't feel too bad...my most embarrassing story involves my idiot brother, a priest, and my backside.

Marnie said...

Deborah, I've lost all composure especially when I got to the part about they guy on the city bus who showed you and your daughter how his shirt pulled his pit hairs. Now that is freaking funny!

deb-oh-rah said...

No matter where you go, there are freaks. Even living in a small town, percentage-wise we have just as many. But you learn which ones they are.

When we went out in our young-and-single bar-hopping daze, Deb and I always attracted some doozies. I think because we could never sit still--if we weren't on the dance floor, we were bobbing to the beat in our seats. The losers and freaks figured they had a chance.

Oh, the memories!

Deborah said...

B-man - who knows what motivates people yes?

Daisy - Oh yes!

Heff - it would appear that way.

Your Highness - I may just start singing Babs. Don't make me.

Lucky Gun - If I only talked about the hot ones it wouldn't be funny!

J.J. - you need to tell us that story.

Marnie - He was my favorite!

Deb - Hot guys are always waiting for girls to go to them right? It wasn't all bad was it? I remember good ones. :D

R. Jacob said...

you know how time slows down when watching something you really like, something pink and white lacies....