Wednesday, December 1, 2010

In My Life*

Last Wednesday evening I got a call from my wasband that a dear friend of ours had died.

He was dear to us in millions of ways. He was Little Buzzy's (wasband's) best friend, married one of my best friends, was the best man in our wedding, was our Bella's godfather, plucked my wasband out of a river while the two of them were smelting, made me laugh always, was much loved by all the nieces and nephews in his large and warm family, and loved by all of us. So loved by all of us.

I'm reeling from this. If I'm reeling I can't think how his family is doing. How will we do without him.

I'm sad. Sad sad sad. Tears and more tears. Tears for his wife, my old friend. Tears for all of us that love him. Tears and laughter for the memories.

May I say something so complete in its DUH-factor? We take each other for granted. We expect things to stay the same and they don't.
1983 - Big Buzzy, Teri, Bella, Little Buzzy - yes Wasband is that damn handsome.
Big Buzzy, remember how I used to cut your hair? You would say to me, "Dizzy - don't get too happy with those scissors. I don't want to look like the last time." or "Dizzy - my hair is CURLY! Don't get too short." I would snip away and occasionally say, "whoops!" just to get you riled up.

I remember when something would happen, good or bad, and I'd look at him to see what he was thinking and he would invariably say, "Dizzy, what can I say"? His big hands outstretched and questioning. Laughing all the while.

I really loved him and the last couple of times I saw him I would hug him and when I would go for a second hug he would say, "Dizzy, you already got one!" He was as squishy inside as he was all grizzly on the outside.

Here's to flannel shirts, Schmidt beer, lot parties, putting the speakers on the top of a car, shaking it more than once, and loving someone more than you realize.

We miss you. Please come back.

*Teri, the pastor was right, perfect song selections for the service. Hugs woman.


R. Jacob said...

He is happy right now, because you miss him. That is special. It is something we all need. Condolences.

deb-oh-rah said...

It's remarkable that Teri and her family to be able to plan such a lovely memorial -- the service was a tribute to our Big Buzzy. There were tears, but lots of memories about what a big teddy bear he really was. And the music, like his little nieces and nephews singing "Jesus Loves Me", was so sweet. I'm tearing up now remembering it.
Here's to all our good times in the woods, around the campfire, partying into the wee hours. Did we have to grow up?

Marnie said...

I am sorry for your loss. He sounds like he was a really great friend and had a wonderful sense of humor.

Big hugs to you,
Marnie xo

Danielle said...

I'm sorry you lost a friend but he's still with you in your memories. Best to you.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

I like him already. I'm sorry he's gone.

You memorialized him well.

Anonymous said...

I'm bouncing off things all over the house. I had to email something so I thought I'd check in on your blog as a distraction. My keyboard is soaked, and when I finally thought I could comment, Deb-oh-rah got me going all over again. I don't know where I got the strength to get through the service, as only an hour before I thought I'd cry at the first hug and never stop. Thank you for the endearing spot-on post. I can picture every word of it. And Deb-oh-rah, I almost asked you to sing Songbird again for us. Love you and thanks for being there for me.

J.J. in L.A. said...

I'm sorry for your loss, hon!!!

I lost a cousin (in his 40's) early this year and another one (in his 50's) just last month. I can't wait til 2010 is over. : (

Karen said...

What a great tribute to your dear friend, I'm so sorry for your loss.

silvergirl said...

I am truly sorry for your loss. Sounds like a true friend and that he will be missed greatly.

Daisy said...

I am very sorry for your loss. HUGS to you.

Sarah said...

Uncle "Buggy" will be sorely missed.

"It is easy to love people in memory; the hard thing is to love them when they are there in front of you" --John Updike

Let's honor his life by making sure we don't take the people we still have here on Earth for granted

Lo Lo said...

This is the Uncle Buzzy I remember!
Touché Sarah- I take too many of the people in my life for granted everyday. I am going to remind everyone how much I care for and adore them today…
Love you Bella and Momma!! XOXO

Joann Mannix said...

Godspeed to your bighearted friend.

May your grief be also filled with the memory of his light on this earth.

My prayers go out to you and his family.

He's still with you, you know, watching over you and all of his loved ones, for the rest of your days on this earth.

Kelley said...

Oh, I'm so sorry. He sounded like such a fun, nice, warm individual. My heart hurts for you and his family. :(

T said...


I feel your loss, their loss.

I empathize entirely.

Grief is a bittersweet emotion, forcing us to remember and smile and treasure, and at the same time, our hearts bleed for having to let go.

But you honor him with your words of love and remembrance.

Healing to all of you.

Deborah said...

Thank you everyone. This is leaving a hole in everyone's life.

Teri - I am giving you until next week and then Ima gonna become annoying. ;)

Anonymous said...

Practice what you preach

Marla said...

Oh honey, I am so sorry. We lost one of our best friends 12 years ago and I still refuse to believe Tim is gone. Praying for you all.