and months in the budget-adjusting. We found a contractor, had plans drawn up, and we begin in about two weeks.
We were out to dinner last night with Pup's ginormous family (just a smallish chunk of them actually) and I mentioned to SIL Penny Lane that we were starting our den soon.
Penny asked me, "Why don't you guys relax and have some fun instead of always working on your house?"
At first I was bewildered. I think I actually asked her what she meant. She simply meant what she said. From her perspective, Pup and I are always working on the Chez Emerson and not enjoying life. From our perspective, we are making Chez Emerson lovely so we can enjoy our life.
Got me thinking though. What is important? Is where you live important? Is your stuff important? Is cocooning the thing you love? Is traveling the thing you love?
Penny lives a simpler life, unencumbered with stuff. So when I looked at the question from where she was sitting it made sense. But where does this leave the question?
I think for Pup and me, we are still finding our way. We've only been married a bit over a year. We had to move into his house, we had to blend our ways of living, we had to blot out reminders of his ex-wife from the house, we had to blot out any residual reminders of my wasband. I'm sure we're not doing it perfectly, but we're doing it.
For Pup, I can see how having a wife isn't always easy. He was a single guy for a while and he was used to not having to ask anyone else if they wanted to attend another Pup-family gathering. He didn't have to ask anyone else if they wanted a recliner in the living room. No one was hogging all the hot water in the shower.
For me, I'm finding I need to say yes to some family gatherings and not feel bad if I don't go to others. I need to listen to a few wants (pool table anyone?) and find joy in the decision.
So . . . the question. Why aren't Pup and I enjoying life instead of working on the Chez Emerson? I think the working and finessing and decorating and incorporating and compromising and nesting is the beginning of our enjoying our life. Our new and tender life together. We're finding our way; tiptoeing through the landmines and coming through on the other side.
How are you enjoying your life? How are you working it with your spouse/partner? Or how are you working it for you?