Tuesday, December 15, 2009


I have a new one.

I’ve been toying with my wrecking ball approach to a new me for a bit now. I do love the phrase “wrecking ball.” It alludes (with a huge iron ball!) to tearing down the old to make way for new new new. I’ve been floundering around a bit in my ADD way and having some trouble getting started.

So one morning I’m reading my blogs from Google Reader and listening to the Lori & Julia Show from fm107. A guest on the show is The Makeover Guy, Christopher Hopkins. Here is his wiki page.

I live in the land of gorgeous people and even better hair. There is great hair in the Minneapolis area! There is really bad hair too (sorry Fridley and Coon Rapids), but in the Minneapolis and the St. Paul urban area you can park your arse in many different locations and watch the gorgeous hair walk by. If you’re quick, you can run one of these incredibly fit people down and pound the name of their salon out of them. Maybe.

After all, we’re the home to Aveda (I grew up in Highland Park – home to Horst of Austria, the father of Aveda), Rocco Altobelli, Jon English Salon, Juut, Christopher's own ReVamp Salon, and so many others – one better than the next. I’ve been to more of them than I can count, but we’re not going to go into my hair-history. I don’t want to cry.

So I’m listening to Christopher Hopkins talk on the show and I remember that I own his book, Staging Your Comeback: A Complete Beauty Revival for Women Over 45. I run over to my bookcase to find it!

I bought it a couple of years ago when it came out. Christopher (imagine me saying that like Adriana from the Sopranos – Kristafah!) is a local style expert. Hair, lifestyle, fashion, decorating, everything. I’ve seen many of his makeovers on television, read about him in the newspaper, and listened to him on the radio over the years. In fact one of the Second Act women in his book is my former boss from Hazelden, Linda. I squealed when I saw her in the book! She is a lovely woman and he made her seriously stunning.

I met Christopher once myself. Or should I say I startled/annoyed him once.

I wish!
A woman I used to work with, Amy, is the niece of Uncle Gary – Minneapolis man-for-everything. I love Uncle Gary. In fact, he once said to me, “Bettie, (he thought I looked like Bettie Page) if I were straight, I would make you howl at the moon,” but I am going off-point.

Amy had gotten tickets from her Uncle Gary to a posh club opening and her hubbins, Bubba, wouldn’t go. She asked me.

I fretted over my outfit, makeup, hair, everything. We were going to be hanging out with all the Snaabs that our area can serve up. And the people at the club were beautiful! It was a blast to just hang at the bar, chat up the cute bartenders, drink the horrible sweet free drinks, eat the brilliant free tappas, and get an eyeful of all that is beautiful in Minneapolis. Oh the gorgeousness!

Amy turned to me and said, “We are the ugly bettys in the room you know.” I had to agree. With my Ann Taylor Loft outfit (I panicked – what can I say?) and her weird shawl, we really were a pair.

But after some lubrication of the alcohol-type, a gathering around us of fun people we somehow knew, and a few new people drawn to us because we’re fun, we really begin to laugh and sparkle.

I followed Amy outside to cool off and watch her smoke when I spotted Christopher.

“Christopher!,” I screeched. He turned, startled, towards me. I was just drunk enough to let my social-tourette's have its way. I saw his face go through several thoughts, do I know this woman? No, I don’t. Who is she? Is she dangerous? No – she’s just badly dressed. I saw it! Brilliant!

He looked me up and down and said, “I can see what you’re trying to do here.” Oh! Amy and I collapsed into laughter.

“I know Uncle Gary, Christopher! He loves me!”

The drunken, bitchy woman-lawyer that was hanging with us turned to me and spat, “Uncle Gary loves everyone you dumb-ass.” So much for Christopher and me having a connection.

Ugly bettys indeed! Hey, I’m more comfortable at Whiskey Junction. I drive a Jeep Wrangler, not an Audi.

Back to the book.

I’m excited. I am loving this book. It goes into DETAIL! Detail is important. It’s easy to just tell women, find a good stylist, get wardrobe basics, eat right, work out, blah blah blah. This book has details. Step by step details that appeal to my ADD.

I’ll report on my progress.


Christopher Hopkins said...

I don't remember this at ALL! Though I do think I remember saying that.

Thank you!!

Blasé said...

I'll be waiting for more 'detailed' progress...