Saturday, October 1, 2011

Little Sweet Nothings from My Pup

My husband is hilarious to me.

On our first date he said so many inappropriate things that he had me (and I mean this literally) rolling with laughter on a pool table in the pub near my house where I would meet all of my Match.com dates.

But I had been on so many incredibly boring Match.com dates that he was a breath of fresh air. Gasping for air, fresh air. The man makes me laugh.

He is also not a romantic.

Oh, he remembers the color of my knickers from our first date, easily spotted while I was rolling around on that pool table apparently, and he made me swoon a bit on that first date by holding my hands across the table while telling me about the movies in which Meg Ryan has shown her 'fun bags.' His words.

Don't let all of that fool you. He is not a romantic.

But I laughed and laughed until tears were streaming down my face.

He makes me laugh every day.

Here are the different ways my husband woos me. Every day.

But please stop reading now if you are easily offended, a my child, eating breakfast, ever wanting to eat breakfast again, or just not "that kind of girl."

If you're a man, maybe these would work for you? No?

My Pup means all of these in the most loving way.
  • How about a quick bone for the road?
  • I'd love me some whisker lickins!
  • Come on! A little pickle-tickle?
  • Aren't you happy to know I want to stick my rod in your piston?
  • You should wear looser shorts so I can put the trouser-snake right up there.
  • Really! Let me put my wiener in your bun.
  • Get upstairs, I want to poke you in the whiskers.
  • Wanna ride the bologna pony?
  • Drop trou and I'll do ya. Right here.
  • Come 'er; I wanna pop you in the heinie.
  • I gotta kiss the 'girls' goodbye. You know the rules.
  • Time for a titty-tickle?

How can I resist? The man has a way with words.

9 comments:

The Empress said...

OH, so happy to see a happily married couple.

I like and liked my husband b/c of his politeness.

That one really got to me.

Now, of course: I LIKE that he thinks I"m funny.

This is funny, we both just wrote on what we like about our husbands.

we are the ones that count, right?

Good to see you!!


I was thinking: I"d love to see a post on what HE liked about you that first date.

Really. I"d love to hear the opposite side.

Ms. A said...

Oh, my, I do believe these made me blush. There's a lot of sweet nothings around here, too. "Nothing" being the operative word. (but he is sweet)

So. Cal. Gal said...

I think Pup and my guy would get along famously. He likes to ask, "Hungry for a little tube steak?"

He also asked if I wanted kids on the 1st date and convinced me that I wouldn't be a young widow (he's nearly 7 years older) if "this goes somewhere".

T said...

Ah...she breathes again. Was getting concerned, woman, with the drought goin' on in your blog.

Humor. GOTTA HAVE IT. It's my number one requisite for sex appeal in a man. I've always said, if he doesn't have a sense of humor, I'm not interested.

Your husband makes you laugh. That is CRITICAL. Bravo for both of you...life is far to serious otherwise. And that laughter will bond you and strengthen you through many years ahead.

Those playful words, maybe they don't APPEAR to be romantic, but they are in his own charming way. It IS romance. It's just another way of expressing it.

(oh, and I wanna hear the opposite side too!)

Happy Romps...!

T said...

I didn't getta proofread...Blogger isn't cooperating...and that annoys me, as a court reporter.

"Too."

Not "to."

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

I love thst my boyfriend is funny and silly. I think it's such a great quality and makes someone who's already attractive, even more attractive.

BTW- "poke you in the whiskers" and "bologna pony" made me laugh.

Muhammad Israr said...

wow...that is sooooooooooo cute :) lucky you have someone who can make you laugh everyday as i think making somebody laugh is the most difficult thing in the world... :)

Deborah said...

Small apologies for this post. Kinda tasteless, but that's the girl in the mirror.

Ha!

So. Cal. Gal said...

Honey, no worries for me personally. This wasn't tasteless...and even if it was, tasteless is my middle name. ; )