On our first date he said so many inappropriate things that he had me (and I mean this literally) rolling with laughter on a pool table in the pub near my house where I would meet all of my Match.com dates.
But I had been on so many incredibly boring Match.com dates that he was a breath of fresh air. Gasping for air, fresh air. The man makes me laugh.
He is also not a romantic.
Oh, he remembers the color of my knickers from our first date, easily spotted while I was rolling around on that pool table apparently, and he made me swoon a bit on that first date by holding my hands across the table while telling me about the movies in which Meg Ryan has shown her 'fun bags.' His words.
Don't let all of that fool you. He is not a romantic.
But I laughed and laughed until tears were streaming down my face.
He makes me laugh every day.
Here are the different ways my husband woos me. Every day.
But please stop reading now if you are easily offended, a
If you're a man, maybe these would work for you? No?
My Pup means all of these in the most loving way.
- How about a quick bone for the road?
- I'd love me some whisker lickins!
- Come on! A little pickle-tickle?
- Aren't you happy to know I want to stick my rod in your piston?
- You should wear looser shorts so I can put the trouser-snake right up there.
- Really! Let me put my wiener in your bun.
- Get upstairs, I want to poke you in the whiskers.
- Wanna ride the bologna pony?
- Drop trou and I'll do ya. Right here.
- Come 'er; I wanna pop you in the heinie.
- I gotta kiss the 'girls' goodbye. You know the rules.
- Time for a titty-tickle?
How can I resist? The man has a way with words.