The Facebook Life

I've fallen out of love with Facebook. It took two years, but I'm breaking it off. Probably not in its entirety, but definitely out of my heart.

It can be fantastic. A fantastic way to stay in touch with people. In fact, a cousin I haven't spoken to in years found me through who knows where the other day to give me some important family news. It's great for that. It's great for relatives to see photos of new additions to families, it's a wonderful way to organize meetings, clubs, events, parties, yes to all of this!

There are too many unspoken rules, too many missteps you can unknowingly or deliberately make. Too many places for Gigi's, like myself, to overstep with their grandchildren; no matter how perfect and adorable they are. I mean seriously, I posted a video I made of Spud where he is doing nothing but staring at himself for a minute. Gripping cinema.

I hate how everything I do online wants me to signup through Facebook. FB already knows every website I've been looking at, why would I want it to know how much or where I've spent money?

I'm not smart enough to weave and dodge all the traps.

I was on the phone with my sister a few weeks ago and she mentioned that she had noticed that I don't "like" all/any of some posts from a family member. I replied with some smart-assy retort, but it's stuck in my mind since. Do people really notice who "likes" or doesn't like anything people say? Gah . . . I can't remember to put water in the coffee pot before I turn it on. I'm going to remember to "like" posts from people I don't even like that much in real life?

And the statuses. Oye vey to the statuses. Peeps are either cryptic, "Sigh . . . why do these things only happen to me?" Or they're morosely quotation-happy, "People can't wipe their feet on you if you don't lay down." Fuck! And haha just a little bit.

Then there are the endlessly happy and perfect people. Their husband loves them and is amazing with gifts/flowers/trips. Or their children only win awards, are good looking, and get good grades.

Now, mind you, I'm certain I've been guilty of all and more of these things.

I scroll like a mother-fucker through it all. Hoping to see a nugget of real in there somewhere. Why am I craving the real?

I have a girlfriend that moved far away recently. She's very stealth-like in her Facebooking. She has NOTHING on her page. She seriously only uses it to view photos of her grandkids and, perhaps, do a bit of lurking here and there. She makes no missteps. Even if you message her she won't reply.

I have another girlfriend that is very judicious. She will reply here and there. "Like" something here and there. But for the most part she's very elegant and quiet.

I am not elegant or quiet. In real life or with my thoughts. It would be lovely to be elegant. I'll have to ask someone what it's like.

It's not just Facebook here either. I post on a health-related site where there are "friends" you can garner so you can have support in your progress. I was posting in a Keto (nutritional ketosis - a new trial I'm attempting) thread and had sent a few friend requests to a few people that were doing Keto as well. One woman wrote back and demanded to know "why" I wanted to be her friend and would I be supportive and write on her status every day as a good supporter would? I replied, "Probably not. Please feel free to ignore my request."

She friended me anyway.

I'm not sure why I'm spilling all of this out from my earnestly tapping fingers. The more I write, the more I can see this just may be my issue. Everyone else seems perfectly happy Facebooking away. Lurking or prolific. Quotation-happy or equivocal. Bounteous or meager. Somehow I get knots in my knickers and feel above the fray.

It must be my Facebooking way.