Tuesday, April 15, 2014

The Facebook Life

I've fallen out of love with Facebook. It took two years, but I'm breaking it off. Probably not in its entirety, but definitely out of my heart.

It can be fantastic. A fantastic way to stay in touch with people. In fact, a cousin I haven't spoken to in years found me through who knows where the other day to give me some important family news. It's great for that. It's great for relatives to see photos of new additions to families, it's a wonderful way to organize meetings, clubs, events, parties, yes to all of this!

There are too many unspoken rules, too many missteps you can unknowingly or deliberately make. Too many places for Gigi's, like myself, to overstep with their grandchildren; no matter how perfect and adorable they are. I mean seriously, I posted a video I made of Spud where he is doing nothing but staring at himself for a minute. Gripping cinema.

I hate how everything I do online wants me to signup through Facebook. FB already knows every website I've been looking at, why would I want it to know how much or where I've spent money?

I'm not smart enough to weave and dodge all the traps.

I was on the phone with my sister a few weeks ago and she mentioned that she had noticed that I don't "like" all/any of some posts from a family member. I replied with some smart-assy retort, but it's stuck in my mind since. Do people really notice who "likes" or doesn't like anything people say? Gah . . . I can't remember to put water in the coffee pot before I turn it on. I'm going to remember to "like" posts from people I don't even like that much in real life?

And the statuses. Oye vey to the statuses. Peeps are either cryptic, "Sigh . . . why do these things only happen to me?" Or they're morosely quotation-happy, "People can't wipe their feet on you if you don't lay down." Fuck! And haha just a little bit.

Then there are the endlessly happy and perfect people. Their husband loves them and is amazing with gifts/flowers/trips. Or their children only win awards, are good looking, and get good grades.

Now, mind you, I'm certain I've been guilty of all and more of these things.

I scroll like a mother-fucker through it all. Hoping to see a nugget of real in there somewhere. Why am I craving the real?

I have a girlfriend that moved far away recently. She's very stealth-like in her Facebooking. She has NOTHING on her page. She seriously only uses it to view photos of her grandkids and, perhaps, do a bit of lurking here and there. She makes no missteps. Even if you message her she won't reply.

I have another girlfriend that is very judicious. She will reply here and there. "Like" something here and there. But for the most part she's very elegant and quiet.

I am not elegant or quiet. In real life or with my thoughts. It would be lovely to be elegant. I'll have to ask someone what it's like.

It's not just Facebook here either. I post on a health-related site where there are "friends" you can garner so you can have support in your progress. I was posting in a Keto (nutritional ketosis - a new trial I'm attempting) thread and had sent a few friend requests to a few people that were doing Keto as well. One woman wrote back and demanded to know "why" I wanted to be her friend and would I be supportive and write on her status every day as a good supporter would? I replied, "Probably not. Please feel free to ignore my request."

She friended me anyway.

I'm not sure why I'm spilling all of this out from my earnestly tapping fingers. The more I write, the more I can see this just may be my issue. Everyone else seems perfectly happy Facebooking away. Lurking or prolific. Quotation-happy or equivocal. Bounteous or meager. Somehow I get knots in my knickers and feel above the fray.

It must be my Facebooking way.


Deborah said...

Conscious or unconscious irony: I posted a status-link to this blog. I had to laugh out loud! :/

Ray Denzel said...

I had joined Facebook a long time ago and left for a few years. when I came back I trimmed my friends list to a handful (no family) and have liked it better this time around. I don't poke and like only if it is something of value or funny or well you know...
Like in life my interaction is limited and that is fine for me.

Ms. A said...

Don't like it, never liked it, don't have an account. Created an account for hubby and he doesn't like it either. I have a hard enough time with blogging, but feel no need to tell everyone every time I fart, or break a nail... which is what some people seem to do ALL THE TIME ON FACEBOOK. Some more than others, love to monopolize the wall, so that you have to scroll though all their posts, to find a tidbit of something that might be of interest, or even important. Nope, Facebook is not for me. Need to tell me something, email me.

Ms. A said...

PS: That is just my impression of Facebook and has nothing to do with you personally.

Anonymous said...

Oh, I have left FB a few times and then come back, blocked quite a few people that annoy me, as well as their family members, I don't respond to the cryptic comments because they are simply a way for people to garner attention, I share photos and respond with likes to a few, try my darndest not to comment on anything political, probably post way too much stuff that no one cares about, and most of all I try to take it all with a grain of salt and just have fun. Tada!! That is how I view Facebook, and I did see the video you posted.. Did I not click Like on it? LOL If not, I apologize. LOL

T said...

Mercy, this is invigorating.

Amen and amen and AMEN! All of it. I so get this. Me too, I shout.

"I scroll like a mother-fucker through it all. Hoping to see a nugget of real in there somewhere. Why am I craving the real?..."

You nailed it.

TNH said...

Have I told you my FB stories? Yrs ago I w/get emails requesting me to join from various peeps from various lives & somehow those FB requests suggested I might be interested in other peeps in FB from my lives that had never crossed paths nor with whom I had ever had any online contact. Freaked me out & I can proudly say I have never been on FB.

Not So Simply Single said...

So much truth. I think FB is fun, however I don't have people judging me on it. I would have to slap them upside the head and tell them to SHUT THE F@#$ up!

Real... I think blogs are real. That is what I love the best...blogs...

So. Cal. Gal said...

Facebook can be a pain. I'm mostly a stalker because I'm usually posting in a private group. I haven't been here lately because I feel like I'm still recovering from surgery. I don't have the mental energy to come up with a pithy post. I'll be back, I just don't know when.

Stephen Andrew said...

Facebook is not for people like us. I HATE Facebook and it made me hate people I used to love. I deleted mine two years ago and have not looked back since. I left amid the Penn State scandal. I was so disgusted by people defending that organization I was about to go apeshit on people (clients included). I asked myself what does getting upset really do? And is it worth losing a client arguing over something I can't change? So since I am terrible at keeping my thoughts to myself (in person more so), I deleted. And then the next week, the Chick fil a crap started and it was an affirmation I had done the right thing (for me). I miss being in casual contact with far away family though.