Sunday, March 10, 2013

Keep Looking Back

No reason for this photo except these pillows made me laugh so I got them for Pup. This is his favorite phrase. 
I played the trombone all through school. I think I started in the 5th grade? I don't quite remember why I picked it, but I do remember walking down the rows filled with instruments, gazing at all the gleaming buttons, valves, silver, brass, and bone.

My dad kept pointing out flutes and clarinets. I kept walking back, time after time, to the trombone. It looked beautiful; shiny and complicated. I dug in my heels. I went home with the trombone.

I had a few lessons from a really crabby teacher and found myself in band. I had no idea I would be one of the only girls back there in the brass section. My best friend at the time played trumpet so she was at least down the row from me.

I turned out to be pretty good at playing. I had good, strong embouchure for the most part and while my tone was at times thin, I had good control and a good ear.

I really loved playing even though I had to carry that damn thing to and from school every day. It was rather heavy, but I got used to it. I also had to practice every day; something my dad wasn't too fond of. At Christmas I would play a few carols on Christmas Eve if you can even imagine something so strange.

I joined a jazz band and we met every day for an hour before class began so we could practice. I loved every time we had a performance. I was totally in love with hearing applause. We even made a record - I wish I knew where that was!

Why am I thinking about this I am wondering.

I believe that sometimes you are drawn to a choice and even though many around you are saying, "Why on earth would you want to do that??" you keep looking back at it and decide you have to do it. And it turns out fantastic.

Like the times when I left my first husband, started a business (even though it ultimately failed), went back to school (even though I was horrible at accounting), got my dog, got married for a second time (love you Pup). Every milestone-type decision made eventually became a good thing. Even the decisions that were made for me turned out to be the best.

If we could listen closely and filter out the crap, what a joy that could be.

But, of course, we can't and sometimes we don't get it until later. But when we do get it - whoooo ha! Let the party bus pick up my arse. I'm ready to get my bourbon on.

I am still wondering why I'm thinking about this. I do have a couple of work-related decisions to make in the next week or so, that has to be it. Gah! Why can't things be smooth?

Oh yeah! I know why. It would be boring! Ha!

Are you sleepy because you lost some sleep? I'm right there with you. Smooches and rock it today!

4 comments:

T said...

If we could listen closely and filter out the crap, what a joy that could be.

But, of course, we can't and sometimes we don't get it until later. But when we do get it - whoooo ha! Let the party bus pick up my arse. I'm ready to get my bourbon on.


Profound and just .... YES!

YOU are a very wise woman, Deborah.

And you always make me think deeply...or laugh loudly...or smile broadly. This is why I love coming here. Regularly.

Am I "mad" because I lost sleep? No, because I slept in. But I'm mad because we lost an hour out of the weekend--POOF! Gone.

deb-oh-rah said...

When I am agonizing over a decision, many times I sleep on it and the answer comes to me. Somehow the brain does all the ruminating, deliberating overnight and comes to a resolution.

You need some sleep. ;-)

Karen said...

Well now, get a load of this. I played Baritone horn all through middle and high school and played in a jazz band besides the orchestra. I sat right next to my trombone buddies, the only girl. I still have my mouthpiece! Boy, do I miss those days. Might be why I'm half deaf, however.... lol...

Deborah said...

tPretty - I know! Losing that hour is sad! I'll enjoy when we get it back though. Sleep! lol

deb - I wish that would happen to me! Sounds great!

Karen - OMG, you did?? We could have been brass section buddies for sure.