Hot Men Friday

Jeff Hephner

I had never heard of this guy before I started watching Kelsey Grammer's Boss.  If you like sex, power, bad behavior, and a gorgeous cast check this show out.

This guy plays a politician. He is so naughty. He is fun watching being naughty. Steamy! And naughty. Did I say he was naughty? Heh!

I love it when baby-faced guys try to look all serious and gruff. Grrrr!

It's a good show though if you like that kind of stuff. Which I apparently do. Reinforcing my image as deep-as-a-puddle.

And this girl is fun to watch as well. I want my new nickname to be Kitty!

I have the glasses, but that's about it.

I have no idea . . .

. . . what is on my mind this glorious morning.

1. our weather has been no less than spectacular.
2. I found something that is working for my insomnia - so far so good - two weeks!
3. planning a January trip with two friends to somewhere warm warm warm - hot damn dog.
4. driving today to cute small town to see my parents - so happy my sister and I are tag-teaming these trips. Barnabee sounds wonderful.
5. drinking my morning coffee from my enormous mug.
6. still getting pangs whenever I see anyone with a Blackberry. Wah!
7. can fall last forever please?
8. our darling Lorenzo is buying a townhouse! I am excited beyond measure. I could go on and on about her, but I won't - just know that she is the best thing you've ever seen. Love her madly.
9. Looking for townhouses with our darling Lorenzo is FUN! Every place I enter I start decorating in my head. I will help her, but not hinder her. I promise.
10. My Bella is more than you'd ever know. Full-time job where she is involved in major corporate changes, finishing up her undergrad degree at the Carlson school in the UofM, becoming a power-volunteer with the org we are volunteering for. My heart bursts on a daily basis.

 I'm not feeling funny or snarky today. Sad for me! I like a little hot sauce in my coffee to keep me laughing. That's okay - I'm thinking all this sleep is making me groggy. Maybe? Believe me - I find something to bitch about no matter what. Ha!

Unrelated photo from new phone - hmmm . . .

What's on your list of to-dos today? Put the top down and drive hooches. I just might. I'll be the girl with the hat driving in the 10 and 2 position. Don't make fun of me.

Love You Madly

In case you all want a piece of Cake.
The music video is making me hooongry. Bonus - see Phyllis Diller? I miss her!

 Now I want to cook everything in that video. Mmmm . . .

Are You Lost?

All the dishes rattle
in the cupboards
when the elephants arrive. 
~Cake

I'm not certain why, but this is rolling around in my head (alone I might add). For days now! Cake is one of those groups/bands/whatevers that my Bella introduced me to. I don't think I would have found them on my own. Maybe I would have? Regardless, I have loved Cake ever since.

I dated a guy for a bit back when I was dating and he and I would hang out in my tiny St. Paul apartment a lot and he always wanted me to put Cake on my little tiny stereo/system/whatevers every time he arrived with wine and a smile. He is the one that pointed out to me that Cake has no lead guitar. I pretended to know this by nodding wisely and smiling at him. He may or may not have been fooled by my ploys. But I thank him for my love of whiskey. Smooches Harry.

This particular set of lyrics is firmly stuck for the time being. I don't have a clue why (be nice).

My interpretation? When those elephants arrive, and those dishes are rattling, pay attention yes? The problem? I never know if it's the dinner plates rattling. Or the dessert plates. Or the cups and saucers. It makes a difference! I know there's a little voice in all of us, but I misinterpret my little voice constantly! Kinda like the way I drove before my Garmin (love you my Garmin). I would approach an intersection; think about where I wanted to be; choose the wrong way; every time.

I do believe I need a Garmin-type device on my decision-making sensors. Ha!

Pup gets the craziest fortune cookies!

I am happy and sad to share that I had to buy a new phone. My beloved and much abused Blackberry bit it and I had to choose a new love. I went with Samsung and so far the relationship is a bit rocky, but I am loving Swyping with wild abandon. I do know my thumbs are thanking me.

The camera is good! But this thing is larger than some phones from the early 90s! Holy Hannah it's big.

Smooches all of my lovely peeps. I wish you all could come visit me at work today. I'll need some friendly faces to make me happy because I have to work on such a glorious day.

Thinking

1990 or so. I think. Help me Naea?

Lorenzo and I had a weepy moment the other day. Separately.

I had started the day just thinking that my insomnia was getting the best of me and felt as though I just may be starting to lose it. A little bit of crying at my computer and I was good to go. I, personally, don't see anything wrong with a little cry now and then. It always makes me feel better!

I head out to an appointment and get a call from my darling Lorenzo. I miss it because I'm in my noisy Ruby (Jeep Wrangler) so I call her back.

"Momma, did you listen to my voicemail?" Lorenzo said. "I am having a crying jag! I woke up this morning and started thinking about Nana."

My momma, her Nana, died eight years ago in September.

I had been thinking about her on and off all week as well. It hadn't really hit me why I was thinking about her because I think about her often.

We now know why we were weeping. Even if you don't think you consciously remember; it's down there in your brain.

Love you my Momma. Miss you always.

9.15.12

Saturday

1. Start day with coffee, Stevia, and heavy cream. I am contemplating the rest of the day. Of course I am not prepared. Wouldn't you all be disappointed if I were all prepared? Who likes a smart-ass? Why I do!
2. I worked five hours at The Turnstyle today. I looked up "standing" in my fitness calculator and was a bit shocked how many calories standing for hours can burn. Very interesting.
3. I don't like to eat while at work so when I leave I am starving. Muy estúpido. 
4. Pup and I go to a movie. I was excited to see it. It blew. Ate popcorn. Yum!
5. I fall into bed and sleep a long time. Well, for me a long time. It was restless, but sleep. I'll take it!

I had a bit of pasta to wear off from Friday evening's family night at Buca di Beppo. We were celebrating our beautiful, smart, and accomplished Bella's 30th birthday. How on earth!!! Second celebration of that birthday in the same week. Score!

I very rarely eat pasta because it is one of those things I cannot eat enough of when I'm eating it. But I ate some last night and enjoyed every bite. And didn't do too horribly. There was also a wonderful eggplant strata that I had my fair share of. Nummy!

It was an evening of delicious red wine and all of Sarah Bella's parental units. I am proud to say that her daddy (my wasband), his wife, the Big B's parents, Pup, and I were all in attendance. And, of course, Lorenzo (Lorenzo's man, BT, was unable to attend).

I am really a lucky and happy woman that I get along with my ex, can chat away with his wife with no weirdness, and even give said wasband major shit about this or that. I kinda love it. This is the new normal; for us anyway. I could see how happy it made Bella and for that my heart swells with everything good.

Oh oh!

I don't know what Pup did, but it must be bad!

I laughed until rice was coming out of my nose!

Definition

. . . of fun . . .

Four of us, sitting in a pub after work during the late happy hour, singing this at the top of our lungs.

The weirdest part? All four of us knew the damn words. I don't know if I should be scared or delighted!

I can tell you how the rest of the bar felt. The looks on the faces all around us told the tale. I am still giggling. And yes, I might have been the loudest. 

I totally remember wearing this dress and having that hair in junior high or so. The truth? We will all be looking at our hair today in 20 years or so saying, "Oh dear! What was I thinking?" We were all thinking we looked cute as hell, yes we were.

I KNEW I was cute with this hair and this dress.



I just bought this for my iTunes. Oh yes I did.

It's Monday! It's September! Look at your calendar and get it going! Then come and help me. Please?

Thinking About

The Cure.

I think I forgot how I love them so. And I've never seen them live.

Do you love to see your favorites on the stage?

Or would you rather curl up listening to them in your home, in your favorite chair, on the floor, sitting at the table, or at your desk?

Music makes me insane. All my life it has been so.

If I am having the crappiest day, if I leave my volunteer job in tears because someone has been such an asshole, if I fall behind on the things I need to do, if I just feel shitty for no reasonable reason; all I have to do is find something amazing to listen to and - bam! - it's better.

And I thank the powers that this is so.

Do me proud today my hooches. I noticed yesterday that the light is changing in the sky and it has fall written all over it.

Just Like Audrey Hepburn

It's been a long and hot summer.

And, as mentioned, I've been wearing nothing but skirts, dresses, tanks. Nothing with legs or sleeves. My happiest days are when I can say, "I'm wearing only two things!" Pup usually says, "Take one off!"

That's how hot it's been. And now it's September. And still pretty hot. And I work retail. Where you're running around. And I'm hot. I just am!

Yesterday morning I had to open at The Turnstyle. I haven't opened in a loooooong time. In fact a lot of this hot summer I wasn't at work at all with all the Barnabee squiring I was involved in (smooches Barnabee).

Before I leave for work I stand in front of my closet. Peering into its depths. There is more in there than needs to be - hey, I'm a woman. But just between you and me? That closet is out of control. No matter how much I edit and purge and ween out crap, it's full full full.

Imagine the sound of hangers being shuttled to the left, click click click. I go deeper and deeper.

Aha! A little black dress. Sleeveless. To the knee. A kick pleat in the back. Price tag still on. WTH?

A woman phenomenon. We buy stuff on sale. My favorite phrase is, "It costs less than a latte!" Nothing makes me happier than a price tag with several strikes through the price making it lower and lower and than it's thrown in a 75 percent off rack. Oh the heaven of it all. Even at The Turnstyle, a consignment store, I love when it's at least 50 percent off.

But I digress, of course.

I clip off the tag. Look lovingly at the price. "Ooooo, that was a good shopping day." I slip on the dress.

I like to turn to the side, suck everything in perfectly, admire my front bumps and back bumps, and convince myself how amazing I look. Hey - it's all presentation. Even when you catch a glimpse of the back bump in motion. Oye vey!

I throw my badly behaved hair up high in a clip, pull out some very artful hangy-pieces (yup - otherwise known as what-the-hell hair) and call it a day.

I trot off to work where new young un interim manager/intern Izzy and Shelley-belly tell me I look just like Audrey Hepburn.

Yup, I look exactly like this, right down to the sunglasses and coffee.

Oh the power of a little black dress! And be quiet y'all. A girl can have a moment yes?

Hooches - repeat after me - I may not be everything, but I sure am something!

Go get em!

Overheard

Actually, it was me on the phone, having a conversation with a voter. Read this aloud with a loud voice, full of disdain and derision.

Are you trying to talk to me about gays and lesbians for cryin' out loud? I'm a Republican!

Oh well, at least I wasn't talking to a chair. Although my head does hurt a little bit from banging it against several walls.

It's all the other conversations I had that day that made that headache go away. Bang on Minnesotans!

:)

That's Alright Momma

It's 78 degrees here at the Chez Emerson. And it's 5:30 in the morning.

I have spent the majority of the summer in sundresses, skirts, and tanks. Wearing as few items as legally allowed. Funny how you get used to your summer uniform. Jeans are going to feel so weird! Do I have to wear jeans ever?

And I cannot remember the last time I wore shoes. Or even heels. I'm not counting wedges, but proper heels.

I'll have to put some heels on later and pretend.

Our deck is awash daily with bright sun. I haven't sat out there for a while. I had a few people over for dinner last night and it was a little sad to me to not be outside. The deck looked sad as well. Poor deck! I love you still. I will sit on you again I promise.

Instead we sat in the big room and after dinner (I baked pork chops and sweet potatoes - yes I said baked! I am sick of grilling! Ha!) we sat there having a second glass of wine and talking talking talking. I love after dinner table-talk. It's always the best. I love it when you can barely tear yourself away from the table because the conversation is so great. You know if you move to the sofa it will change. It just always does. It stays important leaning over the table and spiking the air with fist pumps and declarations while hoisting your glass of wine. Or that could just be me.

Rock em and sock em today my lovely hooches. But first, come have dinner with me. I'll pour some Fat Bastard and fist pump with you.

Summer

Poutine - eh - damn Canadians

Minnesota State Fair

Now that summer is nearly over it's time to assess.

1. busy summer - yes
2. many less than stellar choices regarding fitness and nutrition - check
3. workout schedule abandoned - check
4. helping parents top priority - check
5. hanging out in cool little/big town - check
6. happy nearly always - check
7. still loving coffee - check
8. managing to fit in some incredibly fun events  - check
9. which included buying a camper - check

Alright! Not so bad.

While going to the fair is a questionable item in the fitness world, it can mark a beginning on the calendar. Fall is considered by many to be a beginning.

• school is starting
• the new Vogue is here (haven't cracked into it yet) - my mailman must hate me
• temps will be falling - yes - eventually
• cleaning - yes - eventually
• organizing fitness schedule

I will eat some Poutine today and a Pronto Pup or two, but I will walk miles and think about the fall plan.

What is your fitness plan for fall?

My Milkshake

Brainard International Raceway 2012

My sister, Naea and I had been talking about it for a few years. She and Rocker (her hubs) have been going up there with their beloved Beulah (motorhome) for eight years. She has said on numerous occasions, "You will not believe how much fun." I thought, How much fun can it really be?

How much fun can you stand?

She and Rocker know how to do it. I don't know how we got so lucky to be included in their fun, but we are lucky somabiches! I say it! I say it loud!

It also happened to be Rocker's birthday week so he left on Tuesday to get his boy-partying on and we picked up Naea in The Guest House on Friday. She navigated us in.

I'm really glad we had her with us.

When you arrive all you see is a sea. A sea of campers. Literally as far as the eye can see. We heard over 130,000 people were there.

130,000 people.

That is a city. A good sized city. And I have to say, that for the most part, it was a well-behaved city. We heard a few stories of idiocy, but mostly it was happy people.

"You have to see The Zoo!" Naea had been telling me for weeks. For some reason I thought The Zoo was an actual place. She just meant the EXPERIENCE. Meaning: riding around in the midst of the sea of campers. Roads and roads meandering amongst the campers. Miles of campers. I cannot say this enough times.

The thing that is most amazing to me is Rocker and Naea have a reserved spot right up against the fence at the finish line. And they got us in right next to them. We are right in there with our tiny nugget of a camper.

Sisters have a special type of power over boys. When I was dating a few years back whenever the subject of my having a sister came up, a certain look came over my date's face. You may have seen that look. Have you seen that look?

Naea had told some of her fellow campers in and around their spot that her sister was coming so when Pup, Naea, and I arrived they flocked to see the sisters. Sister power! Our milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. And all of them had great names. I didn't have to make not even one up.

There was Scrappy, Charlie, Bam Bam to name a few. Scrappy and Charlie looked exactly like the Gallagher brothers from Oasis. There was one guy that was a little drunken/smitten with me that followed me around all night calling for "Miss Debi." Naea could not stop laughing. She knew The Zoo was gearing up.

We grab cocktails and hop into the back of The Cushman, Pup and I seatbelted into the back. Rocker driving with skill and depth perception. We go to check out The Zoo. Blasting through another sea. A sea of 4-wheelers, golf carts, scooters, motorized couches, motorized tables and chairs. I couldn't get over the inventive means of transport all over the place.

The Cushman is nearly one of a kind around there and gets lots of attention. Waving and laughing on our end. And screaming from me. Rocker would stop, do a doughnut, and keep going. Pup and I grabbing our cocktails instead of the side-railing laughing and laughing.

We'd pull into wherever we could fit. Rocker drove right up to the stage where the band was playing. We all hopped out and danced around like crazy people. My brother-in-law can drop it like it's hot! His little arse can touch the ground and then he can bring it back up. Years of playing hockey as a goalie I'm told from my smiling sister. His arse must be hard as an apple from all of that!

I'm dancing with Rocker like a maniac, dropping it like it's luke-warm, because my arse isn't getting anywhere near the ground. It got halfway to the ground? Maybe? Truth be told? It is now Tuesday morning and my butt-cheeks are still hurting from trying to keep up with him.

Naea just kept laughing.

The races were good too! The best seat in the house was on Beulah's roof.

As for me? I'm going back next year, but I'm going into training before hand. I gotta keep up with The Zoo.

My 500th Post

I've been thinking for a while how I would treat this, my 500th post.

500 posts.

I have yammered and gone on and on for 500 posts. My blog isn't huge, but I'm surprised every week by the people I discover that read it. It's not always that damn interesting, but some people are reading it. For that I cry a little.

From happiness you hooches!

So, I have been thinking what I would do.

The truth? I'm not much of a planner. I'm not really good at it. I don't like too many details. If I'm given too many details, too many emails, too many changes, I shut down. I stop reading, listening, paying attention.

I'm a bottom-line kind of girl. Just get me to the bottom; get me to the meat of it. Get me?

When I know the when; when I know the how; when I know the end; that's what works for me. All the rest of it is chatter to me. I'm not saying that the details aren't important - oh yes they are! Some details I'm fond of. I won't go into details on the types of details I am fond of, but just know that some do work for me. I'm trying really really hard to not use a winking emoticon.

This yammering and going on and on has been a life changer for me. Not in ways you can see by looking at me, but in ways I see when looking at me.

So this is the way I'm treating this, my 500th post. Yammering on and on.

Smooches to all.

I Am Vicious!

Picture this is you will . . .

Pet supper time at the Chez Emerson.

For some reason feeding the pets every day is a bit of a tug-of-war between me and Pup. He's one of the youngest in his family and I can just hear what he was like as a little kid, "But I did it yesterday!" Make sure you read that with the proper portion of whiney-voice. Ha!

I'm the oldest in my family so I'm used to bossing people around. As I've mentioned millions of times. I also remember that bossing didn't always work on my younger siblings.

Okay . . . so it is pet supper-time; I'm doing the honors. We have George, the lovable 75 pound dog of the huge noggin. We have Calvin, coconut-minded cat that is on Prozac (please don't ask - vet is even in awe of this), and we have the constant houseguest cat DK - or as we call her, Deekers.

I am dawdling while getting the pet dishes ready. George gets very very excited at this time of day. Hey! Wouldn't you get excited if the only thing you got to eat every day is two cups of kibble and a third can of dog-food-smelling canned crap? Yes?

I'm dawdling away at the counter, George is in the kitchen - then the dining room - then the kitchen. Getting very wound up. Whooping and barking and prancing around. We're not exactly certain, but I believe one of his prances swiped Deekers somehow. She wasn't having it. She launched an attack on George  that sent him crying and yipping to the back door. Deekers had wrapped her 6 pound body - let me repeat that, her 6 pound body - around George's nose and head and had him in a death grip.

Then all hell broke loose. George yipping, Pup hollering, Barnabee calling on the phone, cat's tails puffed out, dog trying to get out back door. Even Calvin got huffy-puffy at George - I know he didn't know why.

Serious bedlam. Screaming, laughing, yipping, hissing. Pup grabbed Deekers and yelled at her. I was yelling at Pup. George was yelling to get out. Calvin was yelling just to feel part of it.

Pup was put out with me stating that if I didn't dawdle so much when feeding the pets George wouldn't get so excited. I, of course, couldn't stop laughing. None of them thought I was amusing. And Barnabee on the phone? They thought someone was being murdered.

George wouldn't come back in the house for the remainder of the day.

Pup says I'm vicious! These three look like they got over it.

Ruby Tuesday

I confess lots of stuff here on The Fashion Plate. I'm a blabber-mouth at times. Not all times. Some times.

My political leanings I'm kinda quiet about. Too polarizing and really, who cares what I think?

One place cares - I started volunteering (my darling Bella's idea and I hitched my arse to her committed wagon) a few weeks ago and in between driving Barnabee to the Mayo a million times this summer I've been enjoying myself oh so much doing my volunteer gig. I am now officially one of those incredibly annoying people that canvas targeted areas with phone calls. So sorry! Be glad you aren't in my calling district because I'm so persuasive. Before you know it you'll be saying, "Deborah! Of course I will do that! I will march right over there and do anything you ask of me!" I'm just that good! Ask Benjamin the coordinator. He wandered over to my phone station and said, "You're really good on the phone. I mean REALLY good." I have found my calling. After all these years. I told you I was annoying. What better way to prove it? If you saw me right now you'd see the hugest grin ever. I must love being annoying! And it's paying off. Enough said.

With all the Barnabee driving this summer I've neglected my Ruby. My Jeep. So I drove it last Saturday to my GNO outing. The girls I went with wanted me to. It was the singularly perfect day of the entire summer and the day that if you didn't drive your Ruby you were not the sort that deserved to own a Rubicon. You'd get kicked out of the Jeep club.

So I drove.

We put little, tiny, Shelley-Belly in the back. At one point I turned around and saw her little body being thrown helter-skelter, back and forth, up and down, and around against her seatbelt. She weighs less than my dog George and I was fearful she'd be blown out the back like a lost tictac.

I pulled over and she traded with Alli-Baby. Alli didn't look much happier back there! One of them said, "Have YOU ever ridden back here?" Why no I haven't! I'm usually driving!

Lesson learned. The back seat of Ruby is not fun at 75 miles per hour. So sorry my lovely peeps. You really are such whiners!   ;)

With all the above being said, I have a few photos to share. Random, have nothing to do with what I'm yammering on about, photos.

It's Tuesday in August! I am loving the weather at this moment. So awesome.

Here is one photo from our canoe trip. How lovely yes? Of course I fell out of the canoe. Yes I did. At the end. Klutzy much?

Spring Rolls with my Lorenzo. Yes, it's usually all about the food.

A rare ride in Pup's cute little car.

A little conference with one of Pup's hot clients. Why are all of his contractor clients so hot? It's hard to focus. The conference is about a little project at the Chez Emerson.

Shopping trip also with my Lorenzo. I look annoyed. I have become even more annoying than I ever thought possible. I really like the word annoying. Ha!

My favorite dusty antique shop in St. Paul. It was even worse than ever! Love it so much.

St. Croix River out of the window of The Guest House.

Beautiful artwork at the Mayo.

Hello! Is It Me You're Looking For?

Did you miss me?

I've been running around like my . . . [fill in witty observation].

My name-my-camper poll has ended. I don't like the name that got the most votes! I'm going with The Guest House although the ironic and subversive side of me wants to go with Hilary. I'm weird like that. You know I am.

So it was a week of opposites. And similars. And a lot of wth moments. But hey! I thrive on wth moments apparently. Don't we all?

And I've learned a thing or two this week.

• Endless MPR (Minnesota Public Radio) listening will make you think you're uber-smart. You aren't.
• I walk faster than I think I do.
• I can leave the house to meet a friend for cocktails with dirty hair. Amazing what a cute dress and Ray-Bans will do for your self-perception. If you believe it works; it works.
• Two and a half hour meetings can go by in the wink of an eye. The outcomes aren't always clear. Kinda like this sentence.  ;)  That is an emoticon. I use them with wild abandon. Yes - I am so 10 years ago.
• Just because you think something doesn't make it so. I am FULL of smart-thoughts. Not all agree with me despite my bossy ways.
• I really am not as bossy as I think I am. There are only two letters of difference between bossy and wussy. You pick.
• It is hard to twist your hair and write. I've tried. Repeatedly.

Speaking of hair - I suddenly, inexplicably, need a haircut. Like it looks-like-crap-needs-a-haircut haircut. How can hair look so amazing one day and then bam - look like crap suddenly. Ooooooh hair I love/hate you so.

The weekend is beginning my hooches. I am doing this and a lot of that.

One of them is canoeing with my GNO bunch. I whined yesterday that I was tired of driving, but today is promising to be lovely and I think I need to put the top down on Ruby (my Jeep) and drive like I need to. I'll take a couple of partners-in-crime with me. I can't promise we'll be good.

Quote

Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.
~Mae West

I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is not enough; we must do.
~Leonardo Da Vinci

Better slip with foot than tongue.
~Benjamin Franklin

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.
~Jerry Seinfeld

Hot Men Friday

John Krasinski

If I told you everything about this week some of you would pet me and murmur, "Poor Deborah, you need a hug and a glass of Maker's Mark." Both of which I'd take. And smooches to you.

And, yes, some of you would say, "Oh for crying out loud; shad-up!" That's okay, I do go on and on. It is part of my charm. Yes it is! Extra smooches to you.

But, thankfully, I will not go on and on just now. But what I will do is enjoy a little Hot Man action.

This guy snuck into my heart without even me knowing it. I was relaxing in The Big Room one recent afternoon looking for distraction and stumbled on this movie. Something Borrowed. I hadn't even heard of it. It was meh - not bad, not awesome. But cute and distracting. He seems sweet and kind, and yes, hot. I found myself looking forward to seeing his character on the screen.

He's the guy you should have dated. The guy you want to hang out with. The guy that will make you laugh.

Have a way-more-than-awesome weekend my hooches. I am, once again, heading out to drive south to the land of help and hope.