ROCK at the KOA

I'm taking a class.

One of the surprising things talked about last week in class was the importance of a blog. In a different context, but the importance was stressed. Fresh content. Relevant content. Informative content. With lists. Lots of lists. People love lists. I love lists.

These days when I go on Facebook one of my favorite things to check out are links to lists.

• 10 Ways to Shop for Shoes
• 9 Mistakes You're Making at the Gym
• 8 Ways You Are Sabotaging Your Happiness
• 7 Things to Throw Away Today
• 6 Ideas You Didn't Know You Had
• 5 Celebrities That Are Dumb as a Box of Rocks

None of us want to have to dig too deep into a topic at first blush, but a pithy list? Bring it!

I am a list-maker. Always have been. From what I'm reading, my list-making is keeping me on task and organized.

OMG

I fear what would happen if I stopped my lists!

But I list-on. I've even, following my smart and lovely daughters in their lead, began using a handheld day planner again. Then the lists can be accompanied by check-offs. Oh those satisfying check-offs! Love love love this my hooches.

~~~~~~~~~~

Pup and I traveled around in our little Rigatoni RV for 10 days last month. I might tell a few stories eventually, but lets say that mostly what we learned is that we really do make each other laugh, that our dog is adorable, that we love living where we do, and mountains are beautiful to look at, but from a distance.

:)

There were a few times where I thought I was on a different planet! Our countryside is as varied as clever wine names.

Oh nummy! Wine! I think a glass of Ménage à Trois is in order!

What the heck?

A shot . . . or two . . .

We stayed in lots of KOAs across the land and I have to say that after a long day of sightseeing and defying death, it's so nice to come home to wifi, cable, sewer and water, and our cozy, big, over-the-cab bed. We were the smallest rig every night in those KOAs. How do those people drive an entire house around the country?  Some of those RVs are amazingly huge. Pup and I did laugh every night pulling in with our little Rigatoni. We looked a bit 1980s because, well, Rigatoni IS 1980s.

But it has a bathroom, hot water heater, a furnace, an oven, and a tiny TV for movies. Perfect for two bone-tired travelers at the end of the day.

We would sit at the tiny table and plot out the day to follow. How many miles, where we would stop, and what we would see.

Most heavenly!

Smooches!

I Love Cocktails

I realized that the past three or more posts have had a photo of a cat. Enough already. I'm starting to scare myself. Hehehe

Here's where my head is this morning. I had a gin and tonic on the deck last night with Momma Bee (she had a Dr Pepper) and while I normally don't drink too much gin, it was delicious and refreshing. And it was alcohol.

:)

My Makers Mark is in The Guest House which is at my BIL's shop. Gah! What was I thinking leaving that important thing in the galley?? So thoughtless of me.

According to these photos I stole from Facebook, I'm the coolest person ever because I drink Manhattans, red wine, and whiskey.

Well, I always knew it. Now it's official.

It's all smoke and mirrors! But smoke and mirrors do belong in a bar and I would LOVE to be in a bar right now even though it is 10:30 in the morning.

I'm kidding!

Is your bed made yet today? Get on it!

Smooches on your pooches.

Is It a Little Hot in Here?

We mostly feel fearful because we feel powerless. We feel powerless, I contend, because of a style of thinking that splits information in two poles that makes us lose all the operative information we need to solve the problem.
~Patricia Sun

Nothing gives a fearful man more courage than another's fear.
~Umberto Eco

A timid person is frightened before a danger, a coward during the time, and a courageous person afterward.
 ~Jean Paul Richter

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've been afraid a few times in my life.

The time I was walking 6 year-old Bella to her best friend's house and two largish barking, angry dogs came running down a driveway towards us. I pushed Bella behind me and knew I'd take whatever those dogs had to give me before they'd get at Bella. Apparently my conviction changed their minds and they went back up the driveway without bothering us. Whooo ha!

Or the time I had to hang my head out of our truck while my wasband and I drove north in a snowstorm to find our Lorenzo who had flipped her car into a ditch. I couldn't breath. I just wanted her young-yet-grown body in my arms so I could feel all of her limbs and know she was okay.

Fear is weird because when you're in it you have really no control over how you'll react.

Saturday morning Pup and I (or the Griswolds as his family now refer to us) packed up The Guest House and drove it south to Iowa for a party at his sister's house.

We were looking forward to this weekend and I had convinced Pup that it would be fun to take The Guest House so we could free up the spare room for his other sister and brother-in-law to use.

We're humming along. I'm reading a pile of magazines that had been growing for a time. Nothing like four hours on the road to get you caught up on all of your magazines.

I had just reached behind my seat to pick up my iPad.

"Sheesh - this thing is really hot!" I say.

Pup nods.

A second later we're both sniffing the air. There's a burning smell coming from outside we think.

"I sure hope that's not us," Pup laughs.

He turns to look in the back. Smoke is billowing out from behind my seat.

His look of alarm makes me turn around to look. Smoke spewing out. What the hell?

I hop in the back to see. What do I think I'm going to do? I really don't know, but Pup is driving and we need to know, yes? I'm brilliant in my reasoning.

I am just getting on my hands and knees when

BAM

flames start shooting out of the spot where seconds before there had been smoke.

The crazy-ass thing about crippling fear is that it was only one half of me. The other half of me was dead-calm. I could have rational thought. I'm thinking

FIRE

SMOTHER

EXTINGUISH

I grab our heavy chenille blanket and place it over the flame, pushing it down. Meanwhile Pup is pulling off the highway. Mind you, seconds before we were hurtling along at 70 miles per or thereabouts.

I start to crawl towards the back of The Guest House where I know we have a fire extinguisher. Of course I cannot figure out how to get that thing out of its holder.

Now, I am making it sound like I'm the calm in the storm. I am not. Even though I'm reacting rationally I can feel a fear bubble in my chest. An adrenaline I've never felt before.

My mind is calm, but my lips are saying over and over and over, "Are we going to blow up? Are we going to blow up? Are we going to blow up?"

Who knows how many times I say it? A dozen? 20 times? Luckily no one is listening.

Pup has gotten onto the side of the road and brakes. I fly against the back door, bumping my head and sliding on my knees.

He then grabs a jug of water we have in the galley and pours it over the smoking hole.

Meanwhile I get the back door open and hesitate to jump out - it's a longish way to the pavement.

Pup says emphatically, "Get out." I do. He does.

We are standing away from The Guest House. Listening to everything creaking and cooling.

My chest is still pounding. I am bent over trying to get my breath.

Pup is doing the same.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of the story is good. We are alive. And nothing blew up.  :)

Pup quickly figures out it is the catalytic converter that blew its top and started the nearly 25 year-old wood under The Guest House on fire.

It doesn't look like much, but when flames were shooting out it was something!

It looks innocent doesn't it?

We made it there and we made it back.

We'll get The Guest House fixed and we'll be back on the road in no time I'm certain.

On the way back to Minnesota that thing blew a couple of times more, but Pup now knew exactly what it was and could remedy the situation. My reactions were not so remedial. Let's just say that crying and irrational fear took over both times.

Yay! We're alive! Nay! Hole in floor of The Guest House!

Smooches to all of you.

My Milkshake

Brainard International Raceway 2012

My sister, Naea and I had been talking about it for a few years. She and Rocker (her hubs) have been going up there with their beloved Beulah (motorhome) for eight years. She has said on numerous occasions, "You will not believe how much fun." I thought, How much fun can it really be?

How much fun can you stand?

She and Rocker know how to do it. I don't know how we got so lucky to be included in their fun, but we are lucky somabiches! I say it! I say it loud!

It also happened to be Rocker's birthday week so he left on Tuesday to get his boy-partying on and we picked up Naea in The Guest House on Friday. She navigated us in.

I'm really glad we had her with us.

When you arrive all you see is a sea. A sea of campers. Literally as far as the eye can see. We heard over 130,000 people were there.

130,000 people.

That is a city. A good sized city. And I have to say, that for the most part, it was a well-behaved city. We heard a few stories of idiocy, but mostly it was happy people.

"You have to see The Zoo!" Naea had been telling me for weeks. For some reason I thought The Zoo was an actual place. She just meant the EXPERIENCE. Meaning: riding around in the midst of the sea of campers. Roads and roads meandering amongst the campers. Miles of campers. I cannot say this enough times.

The thing that is most amazing to me is Rocker and Naea have a reserved spot right up against the fence at the finish line. And they got us in right next to them. We are right in there with our tiny nugget of a camper.

Sisters have a special type of power over boys. When I was dating a few years back whenever the subject of my having a sister came up, a certain look came over my date's face. You may have seen that look. Have you seen that look?

Naea had told some of her fellow campers in and around their spot that her sister was coming so when Pup, Naea, and I arrived they flocked to see the sisters. Sister power! Our milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. And all of them had great names. I didn't have to make not even one up.

There was Scrappy, Charlie, Bam Bam to name a few. Scrappy and Charlie looked exactly like the Gallagher brothers from Oasis. There was one guy that was a little drunken/smitten with me that followed me around all night calling for "Miss Debi." Naea could not stop laughing. She knew The Zoo was gearing up.

We grab cocktails and hop into the back of The Cushman, Pup and I seatbelted into the back. Rocker driving with skill and depth perception. We go to check out The Zoo. Blasting through another sea. A sea of 4-wheelers, golf carts, scooters, motorized couches, motorized tables and chairs. I couldn't get over the inventive means of transport all over the place.

The Cushman is nearly one of a kind around there and gets lots of attention. Waving and laughing on our end. And screaming from me. Rocker would stop, do a doughnut, and keep going. Pup and I grabbing our cocktails instead of the side-railing laughing and laughing.

We'd pull into wherever we could fit. Rocker drove right up to the stage where the band was playing. We all hopped out and danced around like crazy people. My brother-in-law can drop it like it's hot! His little arse can touch the ground and then he can bring it back up. Years of playing hockey as a goalie I'm told from my smiling sister. His arse must be hard as an apple from all of that!

I'm dancing with Rocker like a maniac, dropping it like it's luke-warm, because my arse isn't getting anywhere near the ground. It got halfway to the ground? Maybe? Truth be told? It is now Tuesday morning and my butt-cheeks are still hurting from trying to keep up with him.

Naea just kept laughing.

The races were good too! The best seat in the house was on Beulah's roof.

As for me? I'm going back next year, but I'm going into training before hand. I gotta keep up with The Zoo.

Ruby Tuesday

I confess lots of stuff here on The Fashion Plate. I'm a blabber-mouth at times. Not all times. Some times.

My political leanings I'm kinda quiet about. Too polarizing and really, who cares what I think?

One place cares - I started volunteering (my darling Bella's idea and I hitched my arse to her committed wagon) a few weeks ago and in between driving Barnabee to the Mayo a million times this summer I've been enjoying myself oh so much doing my volunteer gig. I am now officially one of those incredibly annoying people that canvas targeted areas with phone calls. So sorry! Be glad you aren't in my calling district because I'm so persuasive. Before you know it you'll be saying, "Deborah! Of course I will do that! I will march right over there and do anything you ask of me!" I'm just that good! Ask Benjamin the coordinator. He wandered over to my phone station and said, "You're really good on the phone. I mean REALLY good." I have found my calling. After all these years. I told you I was annoying. What better way to prove it? If you saw me right now you'd see the hugest grin ever. I must love being annoying! And it's paying off. Enough said.

With all the Barnabee driving this summer I've neglected my Ruby. My Jeep. So I drove it last Saturday to my GNO outing. The girls I went with wanted me to. It was the singularly perfect day of the entire summer and the day that if you didn't drive your Ruby you were not the sort that deserved to own a Rubicon. You'd get kicked out of the Jeep club.

So I drove.

We put little, tiny, Shelley-Belly in the back. At one point I turned around and saw her little body being thrown helter-skelter, back and forth, up and down, and around against her seatbelt. She weighs less than my dog George and I was fearful she'd be blown out the back like a lost tictac.

I pulled over and she traded with Alli-Baby. Alli didn't look much happier back there! One of them said, "Have YOU ever ridden back here?" Why no I haven't! I'm usually driving!

Lesson learned. The back seat of Ruby is not fun at 75 miles per hour. So sorry my lovely peeps. You really are such whiners!   ;)

With all the above being said, I have a few photos to share. Random, have nothing to do with what I'm yammering on about, photos.

It's Tuesday in August! I am loving the weather at this moment. So awesome.

Here is one photo from our canoe trip. How lovely yes? Of course I fell out of the canoe. Yes I did. At the end. Klutzy much?

Spring Rolls with my Lorenzo. Yes, it's usually all about the food.

A rare ride in Pup's cute little car.

A little conference with one of Pup's hot clients. Why are all of his contractor clients so hot? It's hard to focus. The conference is about a little project at the Chez Emerson.

Shopping trip also with my Lorenzo. I look annoyed. I have become even more annoying than I ever thought possible. I really like the word annoying. Ha!

My favorite dusty antique shop in St. Paul. It was even worse than ever! Love it so much.

St. Croix River out of the window of The Guest House.

Beautiful artwork at the Mayo.

Hello! Is It Me You're Looking For?

Did you miss me?

I've been running around like my . . . [fill in witty observation].

My name-my-camper poll has ended. I don't like the name that got the most votes! I'm going with The Guest House although the ironic and subversive side of me wants to go with Hilary. I'm weird like that. You know I am.

So it was a week of opposites. And similars. And a lot of wth moments. But hey! I thrive on wth moments apparently. Don't we all?

And I've learned a thing or two this week.

• Endless MPR (Minnesota Public Radio) listening will make you think you're uber-smart. You aren't.
• I walk faster than I think I do.
• I can leave the house to meet a friend for cocktails with dirty hair. Amazing what a cute dress and Ray-Bans will do for your self-perception. If you believe it works; it works.
• Two and a half hour meetings can go by in the wink of an eye. The outcomes aren't always clear. Kinda like this sentence.  ;)  That is an emoticon. I use them with wild abandon. Yes - I am so 10 years ago.
• Just because you think something doesn't make it so. I am FULL of smart-thoughts. Not all agree with me despite my bossy ways.
• I really am not as bossy as I think I am. There are only two letters of difference between bossy and wussy. You pick.
• It is hard to twist your hair and write. I've tried. Repeatedly.

Speaking of hair - I suddenly, inexplicably, need a haircut. Like it looks-like-crap-needs-a-haircut haircut. How can hair look so amazing one day and then bam - look like crap suddenly. Ooooooh hair I love/hate you so.

The weekend is beginning my hooches. I am doing this and a lot of that.

One of them is canoeing with my GNO bunch. I whined yesterday that I was tired of driving, but today is promising to be lovely and I think I need to put the top down on Ruby (my Jeep) and drive like I need to. I'll take a couple of partners-in-crime with me. I can't promise we'll be good.

I'm Your Captain

Pup and I bought a camper.

A 1988 Born Free President. I have no idea what it is or what it was, but I do know we have a bit of a learning curve with this lovely girl.

We bought her from a great guy, Bubba. I call him that only because his real name is Darryl and he is a bit of a Bubba. The nicest Bubba ever, but a Bubba. He was selling her because he had broken up with his girlfriend and I could see the hurt in his eyes still. He had kind eyes. And he was handsome for a Bubba.

Pup thought me a little crazy, but I could tell Bubba's heart was a bit shattered.

Not so broken though that he didn't take our check for his camper and buy himself a lovely Corvette. Good for you Bubba! Get on that horse and ride!

We bought her just a couple of weeks ago and there she sat in our driveway waiting for us to love her. I was out of town quite a bit and let's just say that Pup wasn't entirely chomping on any bit to get to know her. She scared him I think! She is a bit intimidating with all of her valves, petcocks (wth??), buttons, indicator lights, tanks, chemicals, gas intakes, blah bibbity blah blah.

So she sat.

We needed to use her to go to an anniversary party about 100 miles away and since we were leaving Saturday morning, naturally, we began looking her over on Friday night.

I'm inside cleaning (Bubba actually left her pretty clean. I didn't find anything to make me gasp anyway.) and Pup is outside checking things out.

"Come see this." he says.

Oh oh.

Water is pouring out of the water tank he is trying to fill.

Cut to confused looks on our faces.

We fumble around for a few minutes trying to find reasons for the leak. I say, "Let's call Bubba."

I can tell Pup is not wild about this idea, but he calls.

Bubba is very nice and Pup takes the phone outside and follows instructions from Bubba to turn this and crank that and look at the other.

Saturday morning we go out to the camper to discover the water tank is totally empty.

Oh dear and poopy shitty.

"Let's call Bubba again," I say.

Pup has a "hell no" face on, but does mention that we will be practically driving by Bubba's house on our way out of town.

So I call Bubba.

"Hi Bubba! This is Deborah - you remember? Your new best friend?" Nervous laughter from me. Bubba says, "Of course!"

"Bubba, Pup and I are heading out of town this morning and we were wondering if we could stop at your house for a minute so you could take a look at this leak we can't seem to stop. Are you busy right now?"

This nice man says, "Sure! Come on over."

Pup says, "He is calling us dorks right now you know."

I say, "I don't care as long as he is willing to help. Frankly, I'd be calling us a few choice names myself."

We look at each other and bust out laughing, because truth be told? We are dorks. Who waits until they are leaving to check shit out?

Bubba was amazed at that as well. In fact he turned to me with his kind eyes and said, "I'm shocked you guys didn't go over all of this stuff." I just shrugged and said, "That would have made sense though! And didn't you really want to show us your hot Corvette anyway?"

Bubba had to laugh and yes, I oooohed and aaaaahed at his hot car.

I'm a little in love with Bubba right now and am writing the end of his story in my head. The story where he meets a lovely Bubbett and they drive off into the sunset in his hot Corvette.

Meanwhile, Pup and I drove off in our leak-free camper laughing and once again I am so happy to have met someone so nice, honest, and helpful in my life.

I am brainstorming names for our lovely little camper. Anyone have any ideas? I'm calling her The Guest House right now, but Pup isn't in love with that one.