Overheard

Actually, it was me on the phone, having a conversation with a voter. Read this aloud with a loud voice, full of disdain and derision.

Are you trying to talk to me about gays and lesbians for cryin' out loud? I'm a Republican!

Oh well, at least I wasn't talking to a chair. Although my head does hurt a little bit from banging it against several walls.

It's all the other conversations I had that day that made that headache go away. Bang on Minnesotans!

:)

Let's Have a Kiki

I am obsessed with the Scissor Sister's song, Let's Have a Kiki. Obsessed!

*warning - graphic images and language (it's not that bad, but you gotta protect those that need protecting.)

I cannot stop listening to it.

Of course I was a bit confused regarding the meaning of Kiki. Originally I thought party. Then I came to realize it is a word, similar to our much beloved F-word, that can mean anything - driven by the person saying Kiki. Whatever makes you happy. Be it a party, sexy-time, a boy, a girl, a cocktail. If it makes you happy, it's a Kiki.

Necessary or unnecessary background for weekend story.

I went to Rice Lake to visit my friends that have a home on the lake. Peaceful, lovely, warm and calm in the summer and crisp and frozen in the winter. A small small town, but always fun when I go see my oldest and dearest friend, Deb-oh-rah.

When I go to Rice Lake we go auctioning, antiquing, junking. More fun than I deserve.

On this evening we take the pontoon to town to have dinner and a few cocktails.

After dinner we decide to go to the Lions and use Mikey's secret card (not so secret - I just wanted to say that) to gain entrance, and have a delicious cocktail overlooking the lake.

A large group come in. A group that has been having fun all day. Their energy is good! Laughing, story-telling, hitting-each-other-on-the-back fun.

One woman raises her glass and adds onto a story that we have missed the beginning of . . .

"Ladies - how many of you have had to get up in the middle of the night to pee because, in your past, you pushed babies out of your vagina?"

Rowdy laughter!

I mutter under my breath, "Not me, I do my kegels religiously."

Several woman are adding to her inquiry. Much talk about big-headed babies and the mystery of women.

I stand, swept up in the camaraderie of the moment, raise my glass of whiskey and diet, and declare, "Bow to the power of the vagina!"

Dead, cold silence. Picture about two dozen heads swung my way.

I sit and giggle a little. Mikey busts out laughing, Deb laughs a bit nervously.

I take a sip of my cocktail. The bar recovers.

Blurting just may be my Kiki!

I'm Your Captain

Pup and I bought a camper.

A 1988 Born Free President. I have no idea what it is or what it was, but I do know we have a bit of a learning curve with this lovely girl.

We bought her from a great guy, Bubba. I call him that only because his real name is Darryl and he is a bit of a Bubba. The nicest Bubba ever, but a Bubba. He was selling her because he had broken up with his girlfriend and I could see the hurt in his eyes still. He had kind eyes. And he was handsome for a Bubba.

Pup thought me a little crazy, but I could tell Bubba's heart was a bit shattered.

Not so broken though that he didn't take our check for his camper and buy himself a lovely Corvette. Good for you Bubba! Get on that horse and ride!

We bought her just a couple of weeks ago and there she sat in our driveway waiting for us to love her. I was out of town quite a bit and let's just say that Pup wasn't entirely chomping on any bit to get to know her. She scared him I think! She is a bit intimidating with all of her valves, petcocks (wth??), buttons, indicator lights, tanks, chemicals, gas intakes, blah bibbity blah blah.

So she sat.

We needed to use her to go to an anniversary party about 100 miles away and since we were leaving Saturday morning, naturally, we began looking her over on Friday night.

I'm inside cleaning (Bubba actually left her pretty clean. I didn't find anything to make me gasp anyway.) and Pup is outside checking things out.

"Come see this." he says.

Oh oh.

Water is pouring out of the water tank he is trying to fill.

Cut to confused looks on our faces.

We fumble around for a few minutes trying to find reasons for the leak. I say, "Let's call Bubba."

I can tell Pup is not wild about this idea, but he calls.

Bubba is very nice and Pup takes the phone outside and follows instructions from Bubba to turn this and crank that and look at the other.

Saturday morning we go out to the camper to discover the water tank is totally empty.

Oh dear and poopy shitty.

"Let's call Bubba again," I say.

Pup has a "hell no" face on, but does mention that we will be practically driving by Bubba's house on our way out of town.

So I call Bubba.

"Hi Bubba! This is Deborah - you remember? Your new best friend?" Nervous laughter from me. Bubba says, "Of course!"

"Bubba, Pup and I are heading out of town this morning and we were wondering if we could stop at your house for a minute so you could take a look at this leak we can't seem to stop. Are you busy right now?"

This nice man says, "Sure! Come on over."

Pup says, "He is calling us dorks right now you know."

I say, "I don't care as long as he is willing to help. Frankly, I'd be calling us a few choice names myself."

We look at each other and bust out laughing, because truth be told? We are dorks. Who waits until they are leaving to check shit out?

Bubba was amazed at that as well. In fact he turned to me with his kind eyes and said, "I'm shocked you guys didn't go over all of this stuff." I just shrugged and said, "That would have made sense though! And didn't you really want to show us your hot Corvette anyway?"

Bubba had to laugh and yes, I oooohed and aaaaahed at his hot car.

I'm a little in love with Bubba right now and am writing the end of his story in my head. The story where he meets a lovely Bubbett and they drive off into the sunset in his hot Corvette.

Meanwhile, Pup and I drove off in our leak-free camper laughing and once again I am so happy to have met someone so nice, honest, and helpful in my life.

I am brainstorming names for our lovely little camper. Anyone have any ideas? I'm calling her The Guest House right now, but Pup isn't in love with that one.