Why Do We Believe Men Have No Self-Control?

WHY I CHOSE TO NO LONGER WEAR LEGGINGS 
Blogger Veronica Partridge 

For the past several months, I have been having a conviction weighing heavy on my heart. I tried ignoring it for as long as I could until one day a conversation came up amongst myself and a few others (both men and women). The conversation was about leggings and how when women wear them it creates a stronger attraction for a man to look at a woman’s body and may cause them to think lustful thoughts. God really changed my heart in the midst of that conversation and instead of ignoring my convictions, I figured it was time I start listening to them and take action. 

 I went home later that day and shared the convictions I was having with my husband. Was it possible my wearing leggings could cause a man, other than my husband, to think lustfully about my body? I asked my husband his thoughts on the matter when he got home. I appreciated his honesty when he told me, “yeah, when I walk into a place and there are women wearing yoga pants everywhere, it’s hard to not look. I try not to, but it’s not easy.” 

 I instantly felt conviction come over me even stronger. Not that I wasn’t feeling it earlier, or else I wouldn’t have thought twice about the conversation, but after talking to Dale, it hit me a lot harder. If it is difficult for my husband who loves, honors, and respects me to keep his eyes focused ahead, then how much more difficult could it be for a man that may not have the same self-control? Sure, if a man wants to look, they are going to look, but why entice them? Is it possible that the thin, form-fitting yoga pants or leggings could make a married (or single) man look at a woman in a way he should only look at his wife? 

 And at that moment, I made a personal vow to myself and to my husband. I will no longer wear thin, form-fitting yoga pants or leggings in public. The only time I feel (for myself) it is acceptable to wear them, is if I am in the comfort of my own home or if I am wearing a shirt long enough to cover my rear end. I also want to set the best example of how to dress for my daughter. I want her to know, her value is not in the way her body looks or how she dresses, but in the character and personality God has given her. I have been following the vow I made to myself for the past couple of weeks now and though it may be difficult to find an outfit at times, my conscience is clear and I feel I am honoring God and my husband in the way I dress.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was making the rounds last week.

Initially I just snorted and thought to myself, "Must be a slow news day."

The more it tumbled around in my brain, the more indignant I became.

I realize this is only one blogger and not the universal thought, yet the fact that it received so much press bothered me.

The message that is screaming at me from all of this is Men Can't Be Held Accountable.

How insulting and frankly, sexist is that thinking? I mean, if a woman is running around in leggings with a shapely backside she is inciting in the heart of men lust, ungodly thoughts, and makes him lose the ability to govern his own thoughts. Because men are just that base, uncontrollable, and childlike.

Why just the backside then? Maybe we should cover our legs at all times as well? A shapely leg can get some men thinking racy thoughts. Or breasts. Just the curve of a breast through a t-shirt or sweater could change a man's day yes? Or feet. A pretty foot could just about make a man or two breathe a little heavier.

What bullshit.

Or reverse this thinking hmm? Women have thoughts as well when they see an attractive man out and about. Whether it's his backside or the curve of his back into his pants or maybe a glimpse of nice abs.

Just when you could believe we are making strides towards a new think crap like this makes the news and I realize that all of that is just illusion.

Watch your men all of you women out there. He just can't control himself and who knows what he'll do when left to his own devices!

grr and gah

The Facebook Life

I've fallen out of love with Facebook. It took two years, but I'm breaking it off. Probably not in its entirety, but definitely out of my heart.

It can be fantastic. A fantastic way to stay in touch with people. In fact, a cousin I haven't spoken to in years found me through who knows where the other day to give me some important family news. It's great for that. It's great for relatives to see photos of new additions to families, it's a wonderful way to organize meetings, clubs, events, parties, yes to all of this!

There are too many unspoken rules, too many missteps you can unknowingly or deliberately make. Too many places for Gigi's, like myself, to overstep with their grandchildren; no matter how perfect and adorable they are. I mean seriously, I posted a video I made of Spud where he is doing nothing but staring at himself for a minute. Gripping cinema.

I hate how everything I do online wants me to signup through Facebook. FB already knows every website I've been looking at, why would I want it to know how much or where I've spent money?

I'm not smart enough to weave and dodge all the traps.

I was on the phone with my sister a few weeks ago and she mentioned that she had noticed that I don't "like" all/any of some posts from a family member. I replied with some smart-assy retort, but it's stuck in my mind since. Do people really notice who "likes" or doesn't like anything people say? Gah . . . I can't remember to put water in the coffee pot before I turn it on. I'm going to remember to "like" posts from people I don't even like that much in real life?

And the statuses. Oye vey to the statuses. Peeps are either cryptic, "Sigh . . . why do these things only happen to me?" Or they're morosely quotation-happy, "People can't wipe their feet on you if you don't lay down." Fuck! And haha just a little bit.

Then there are the endlessly happy and perfect people. Their husband loves them and is amazing with gifts/flowers/trips. Or their children only win awards, are good looking, and get good grades.

Now, mind you, I'm certain I've been guilty of all and more of these things.

I scroll like a mother-fucker through it all. Hoping to see a nugget of real in there somewhere. Why am I craving the real?

I have a girlfriend that moved far away recently. She's very stealth-like in her Facebooking. She has NOTHING on her page. She seriously only uses it to view photos of her grandkids and, perhaps, do a bit of lurking here and there. She makes no missteps. Even if you message her she won't reply.

I have another girlfriend that is very judicious. She will reply here and there. "Like" something here and there. But for the most part she's very elegant and quiet.

I am not elegant or quiet. In real life or with my thoughts. It would be lovely to be elegant. I'll have to ask someone what it's like.

It's not just Facebook here either. I post on a health-related site where there are "friends" you can garner so you can have support in your progress. I was posting in a Keto (nutritional ketosis - a new trial I'm attempting) thread and had sent a few friend requests to a few people that were doing Keto as well. One woman wrote back and demanded to know "why" I wanted to be her friend and would I be supportive and write on her status every day as a good supporter would? I replied, "Probably not. Please feel free to ignore my request."

She friended me anyway.

I'm not sure why I'm spilling all of this out from my earnestly tapping fingers. The more I write, the more I can see this just may be my issue. Everyone else seems perfectly happy Facebooking away. Lurking or prolific. Quotation-happy or equivocal. Bounteous or meager. Somehow I get knots in my knickers and feel above the fray.

It must be my Facebooking way.

What's on My Samsung?

Well hello there.

You've missed me.

Oh come on - I know it! I have a face just made for missing.

Let me have my dreamy thoughts. It could happen!

What a summer it has been yes? Gorgeous around these parts. Lovely, balmy, calm, and just a tad - umm - just a tad . . . you know what? I'm not going to finish that thought.

Here's a few shots of some of what I've been doing.

Camping.

George driving.

I thought my dad needed to know about this. Since he's from New Ulm Minnesota and all. 

This made me giggle because I'm a 12 year-old boy. Yup.

New addition to the Chez Emerson zoo. This is Oliver.

I managed to re-bloom an orchid! I was disproportionately excited. 

Got new patio furniture. Made Pup move it from one spot to the next. He's still speaking to me.

Another shot of the crazy-eyed Oliver. He's kinda cute. 

I have become one of those people that takes too many photos of her pets. Soon you will find kitty litter in my hair and I will tenderly pick fur off of my leggings. That I wear as pants. People will whisper, "She used to be so fun! She used to be so stylish!" Gah

What have you been doing this summer?

I Left That Where??

I have a lot of devices.

I have my beloved iMac that is beginning to show his age.

I have my new Macbook Pro laptop (kiss kiss). A powerhouse that I will be loading with all of my powerhouse software so I can do my new job on the fly as I've found working at home all the time is kinda lonely and I need the office culture to keep me lovely and smart and plugged in. This sweetie is gorgeous and I am in love with it.

I have my iPad. I didn't love my iPad at first. I kinda thought it was crazy to have, yet, another thing to manage. I have found that it's a great resource and very portable for my transient ways at the moment. My scary-genius boss set up my work email on this little baby so I have to keep it close. Pup got me a keyboard that holds it and then snaps onto as a cover. That really clinched the deal for me. I hated that touchscreen. My brain loves to work fast; when it's working.

Last, but not least, is my phone. I stopped bitching about it (finally) and find it lovely. Samsung, love has grabbed me, beat me over the head, and left me a slave to you. #overstatingismylife

Why am I talking about these life-helpers? I have a hard time managing everything!

First: the email. I have email everywhere. I have five email accounts for differing reasons. Jobs, transitioning, blog. All five of them are necessary. And all five of them come in on every device. Gah!

It doesn't stop me from losing emails. Forgetting emails. Over-answering emails. Under-answering emails. I am in email overload. I think it's my fault.

Then there is Facebook. I have been goofing with it for the past year and have found it fun and have found it a time suck as maybe some of you with Facebook have found it.

I open Facebook on my iMac, I open it on my Macbook, I open it on my iPad, I open it on my phone. I forget to shut it down. I'm sure if anyone is looking, and I'm pretty certain no one is, it looks like I'm on all the time. #fail

And the pinging. If I don't watch it, all of these things are chiming, pinging, ringing, nagging. Pup will say, "Was that you? Which one is it?" He's no better. He has lots of devices as well.

It's a dinging hell around here. And I'm not even adding in the appliances that ding and ping.

I could turn them all off and sometimes do. Turn off all the sounds that pop out of them. The quiet is good!

How do you guys manage all that you do? Am I missing an app? Don't tell me about it! But do tell me how you manage your stuff.

Whoops!

A week! A whole week!

Busy. Just like everyone else. Busy, and frankly, not good. Not a good week. No specific bitching, but let's just say, not good.

Kinda feeling like I was feeling last year.

Well, maybe not this bad. Or yes, this bad.

:)

Just reading that t-shirt design is making me laugh, so it can't be all that bad! I never did order one. I think I should rethink that decision.

Good thing I'm a laugher. Is laugher a word? I don't think so. Regardless, that is what I am. Even in the state I'm in I was laughing quite a bit at The Turnstyle yesterday. It could have simply been hysteria. I'll go with entertained. If you can't be entertained, then you may as well bench yourself.

Okay - this post is self-indulgent. I like it! I feel better!

What is your challenge from the week? What got you out or in a stuck place. I'd love to hear.

Smooches all of my lovely and loved peeps.

Baby, It's Hot Outside

What dreadful hot weather we have! It keeps me in a continual state of inelegance.
~ Jane Austen

It was so hot today the National Weather Service issued a fat-guy-in-tank-top warning.
~ Unknown

It's spring fever! That is what the name of it is. And when you've got it, you want - oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!
~ Mark Twain

If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?
~ Unknown

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I haven't talked about it much, but it's been damn weird here in Minnesota.

No snow (nearly so) all winter. Not cold all winter. Now it's been in the 80s.

My poor body doesn't know what to do. I'm hot. Hot. Not that kind of hot (well, maybe the random comment from time to time - I don't take them personally), but hot.

At work I'm BEGGING the cold-hearted and cold-blooded girls to please turn the temps down. Don't they have any heat inside of them?

Sleeping up in the loft is killing me I'm so hot. Pup still wants his bed heater on. I'm exaggerating a little, but not much.

I keep thinking I'm having an endless hot flash, and then I remember. When I was in my 20s and 30s I was hot ALL THE TIME. Could it be I have finally, after months of working with my patient, kind, and puzzled compounding pharmacist, could it be that I've reached a level of balance with my hormones? And this is how I'm supposed to be?

I better figure out what to do with my hair! I'm hot!

What's it like where y'all are?

Grin and Bare It

I work in a small consignment store.

There are a few men that come into the store. Pretty fucking amazing men frankly. Men that think outside of the norm when it comes to shopping. Men that are curious and stay because it's awesome. Men that are stuck there with their wives (I'll never in a million years figure that one out - go home - go to the Home Depot - go anywhere but following your wife around looking like an idiot). Men that are gay and therefore (in a sweeping general sense) more savvy to shopping. Men that consign.

I had a guy come in yesterday that said, "Your men section is small, like in all consignment stores, but I always find something awesome."

I just nodded and smiled at him. Maybe I even winked. Because he's in. He gets it.

Our store deals with customers and consigners. Clearly that's how it works. Customers come in and shop. Consigners come in and consign. Many of the customers are also consigners. Some consigners would drop dead before they'd shop the store.

The consigners are mainly women. The customers are mainly women.

In the past few weeks:

• I was called "her highness" by a disgruntled consigner that doesn't like to follow rules and told me in a Russian accent, "I am so sorry I am not up to your standards your highness, but I cannot follow the rules because I blah blah blah fuckin' blah." Bite me.
• A woman argued with me on a piece of designer clothing that was soiled around the collar. The consigner kept telling me, "This cost a lot of money. Someone will want this. It's a great party outfit. Do you realize who Oscar de la Renta is?" Bite me. First of all, wearing an outfit that makes you look like a piece of wedding cake (sorry Oscar) is heinous; just because it cost lots of "money" doesn't make it good. It's dirty - get the hell out.
• A woman was staring at my name tag and said, "Do you WORK here? When did you start wearing name tags?" Bite me. WTF? She also insisted on wearing a bracelet around the store because, "She wanted to see how it feels. I won't steal it." Yes, of course, she stole it. Get your husband to bite me. I'm guessing it's been a few years since he's had any fun.
• A woman stomped her foot and pouted when told she couldn't leave all of her stuff for consigning and go have lunch. "I'm late! Can't you just do this?" Bite me. Get in line. And plan your day better.
• A woman walked out in a huff saying, "I am not bringing stuff here anymore. It never sells." Bite me. Her stuff was usually pity-takes; which, frankly, I don't condone.
• A woman who had to tell me a story about every pieced she brought in. Bite me. What the hell do I care? Do you see the consigners waiting their turn behind you?
• A customer brought a pile of stuff up to the counter, said she was ready, and then while I was organizing her items, she's still deciding. "Oh! Maybe I should try that on again! Let me think about it. Oh, I saw a top - let me run get it." Bite me. People are stacking up behind you. Decide before you come to checkout.
• A customer indignantly marched up to the front of the store exclaiming, "Who put that top away I was looking at?" Bite me. WTH are you talking about? She found it. Right where she left it. Sigh
• A consigner that has consigned one piece of clothing and calls every day to see if it's sold. Frets every time she's told, "not yet." Bite me. There are thousands of pieces in this store. Not all of them sell.

I tell Pup stories every day when I come home from work. He laughs his ass off and can't believe what he's hearing most of the time.

It makes me feel good to laugh along with him because, hey, you have to laugh!

But for now, I'm buying myself the hugest tiara I can find and changing my name-tag to "Her Highness."

Here Comes the Sun

Same street - 24 hours apart.

Bella had the same type shots on her blog and I'm betting many bloggers from Minnesota have had similar photos, but I got nothing else peeps. NOTHING!

I'm a boring drudge. I go to work, I come home, I go to bed.

I was telling Pup last night that when my girls were little I had a job and I'd run in the back door and begin making supper practically with my coat still on. And a million other things got done after that.

He said, "You were younger then babe."

I immediately started pouting. "I don't like that answer!"

I fear he's right, but balance needs to find a way into my heart.

BALANCE - IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT BIKING.

Or something.

Here's the good stuff:

1. Easter was a blast. We made brunch here at Chez Emerson, ate it up, and played Rock Band so hard Lorenzo got blisters from drumming. We rock! I'm certain we sounded like cats being killed, but I DON'T CARE! It was fun.
2. I have gotten to the point at work where I'm actually GETTING little work-related jokes. You know the kind. The kind where you nod knowingly and make someone laugh with your insight and schadenfreude. Yeah that's right baby, I really am this witty and fun to be with. Well . . . sometimes.
3. Pup and I are enjoying The Big Room (newest incarnation of the room's name - family still loves The Pit and B (son-in-law) still loves Den.) Pup and I had continued calling it The New Space, then it evolved to The Big Room. Stay tuned cuz I know you can't wait to see what we call it next. Is that sarcasm I smell?? Hmm?
4. The glimmers of spring I'm seeing are making me silly and hopeful.

That's it from me peeps. What's doing with you all? Are you knee deep in the hoopla?

The Fool on the Hill

I feel sorry for all the stupid peeps of late.

I feel sorry that we are all enthralled with a 25 year-old woman that 'incubates' in an EGG for the cryin' out loud and we all sit enthralled.

I feel sorry that some drunken or insensitive or in-the-moment dolt sends out a text - tweet - FB update - and the world applauds or rants.

I feel sorry we iconize young women singers/actresses/media whatevers then villainize them when they act like the young-learners they really are.

I feel sorry for all the 20-somethings that get their idiocy recorded on phone cameras/videos for posterity. I'm sorry, but if HALF of the incredibly idiotic things I did as a 20-something were recorded for evermore no one would speak to me again. Our 20s are for mistake making. And mistake fixing.

I feel sorry women feel compelled to lumpify their facial features with whatever the hell is going on in the dermatilogical world. I see face after formerly-lovely face lumpied up with what the hell is it? - collagen? botox? I just saw Nicole Kidman in the new Adam Sandler/Jennifer Aniston movie and was SHOCKED at her face. She is 44 years old! I also heard a local radio show duo go on and on how 'lovely' Joan Rivers looks. I can't even talk about that one.

I feel sorry young men are left holding handbags while their girlfriends/wives shop.

I feel sorry young men can't sow their wild oats without some young, not finished-cooking-woman writes a song about what a cad he was.

I feel sorry so many young peeps are not parented. Guess what? We, as parents, are NOT THEIR FRIENDS.

I feel sorry that families fight and don't speak to each other. For years.

I feel sorry that parents think they have to take their children EVERYWHERE. This makes no one happy. Least of all the children. Why would a child want to spent hours in Ikea??

I feel sorry I had to spend hours in Ikea with other peep's children. One precious little girl kept following me around muttering and asking me for something. She was probably begging me to get her the hell out of Ikea. Her bearded, hipster-type dad was frantically trying to find said child and showed his impotence as a parent with his, "Philadelphia, do you need more organic juice? Do you need to go potty? Do you need a snack"? Dude, all she needs is a nap. Get her the hell home.

I feel sorry I'm such a curmudgeon of late. I'm BUGGED with my fellow man's arrogance! I nearly hit a woman with my car yesterday as she was walking down a very busy two-lane street. Walking against traffic. I need to mention that there is an f-ing sidewalk right there that her ass should have been walking on. A cleared sidewalk I might add. The street is smaller with piled snow so she was virtually walking IN THE STREET. A busy city street where the speed limit is 45 miles per. Good god woman! I nearly crapped my pants I was so shook up. This isn't the first time I've witnessed this phenom. For some reason people in my neighborhood don't think they need to use the sidewalks. WTF???

----------long sigh

~~~~~~~~~~~wow

I had no idea this was all coming. This up here I mean ^.

I feel a calm rushing over me.

Well, at least until something else bugs the living hell out of me.

Ha!

Monday Listing

Image courtesy of nataliedee.com

Reasons to Never, Ever Do a Home Improvement Project Ever Again

1. It hurts.
2. It hurts in the wallet.
3. Hearing “oh oh.” If I hear this one more time I will drink myself stupid.
4. The cleanup! Oh dear god the cleanup.
5. I really don’t enjoy the fact that everyone at the Home Depot knows us by name. This isn’t the Cheers I had in mind.
6. I really don’t enjoy that we go to the Home Depot, on average, three times a day.
7. It hurts.

Reasons to Do Another Home Improvement Project

1. Oh it really looks lovely!
2. So much fun seeing how excited the kidlets are about having a new bathroom.
3. Watching my daughter get all fired up about decorating. This made me cry a little. Just a few tears came squirting out.
4. Watching the Big B and Pupcake form a closer relationship. That working together really does bond you mens doesn’t it? Brilliant that I just figured this out. Ha!
5. There really is something loving about painting back to back with the guy you love.
6. It’s done!

Monday Listing

It could be me that's listing btw. Again - a sugar hangover. SIGH!

Things I’ve Often Wondered About

1. Chargers – are they really necessary? Do we even like them?
2. Leggings – why am I wearing them? You know what they say about wearing comfy pants too often.
3. Cats – why are they so damn bossy?
4. Wii – do I need a class?
5. Mii – will I love her?
6. Coffee – why do haters keep trying to find bad things attached to my love?

Can We Talk?

*sigh* I am amazingly unfocused. Not an entirely horrible thing. I haven't had a summer off since I was a student! I am reveling in it, yet am getting nothing done. This causes me a bit of guilt. Why is that?? Everyone is running around "getting things done." I just feel no compulsion!

Not entirely true I guess. Pup and I have been working on a patio - doing it ourselves!! - I am planning our party - I am dealing with identity theft (oh yes it can happen to you!). I got married, my oldest got married, I road-tripped with youngest, healed from knee surgery, got laid off from a job I had had for 11 years, had my dad and step-momma here for a month, dealt with said dad having mild heart attack the minute he got here. The list goes on and on when I list it out.

So! I have been thinking about where I am going and what I want to DO with this blog. Coming up with my plan, thinking thinking. I've been thinking for months! Ha!

If anyone is reading this I'm glad! If no one is I'm not surprised!

I even thought about blowing up the blog and starting over, but I don't want that. I want to see my mistakes. I'm growing.

Love anyone out there that is reading this. I am eating the energy and getting strong. Thanks!

Halleluiah - Her 15 Minutes Are About Up

Vanity Fair

How dare she step down with over a year left? The people that elected her should be angry! Higher calling my arse. I believe some fire is licking her butt and she got going when the getting was good.

Bye bye. She has set women back by 15 years at least with her diva-like ways and idiot-talk. Truly a dumbass in the most transparant sense. Blech.