today

I am . . .

• listening more, talking less
• making check marks on my list - you know the list - the LIST!
• laughing more
• flushing dead mice (omg - or, as an FB friend said, better dead than alive)
• drinking lemon water
• trying something different with hair - still wondering about this - messy does appeal to me

• thinking constantly about a friend that is in the middle of troubles
• because of her troubles I am able to see any troubles I thought I had in a new light
• I have no troubles
• looking at gardening ideas - I know! Who am I?
• I had Grammy fever - love love love watching all of it - red carpet love
• scratch the above bullet - Grammys were not that good
• learned how to remove a fake tattoo - which was easier once I looked at my favorite book, the internet
• learned I can thrift shop and resist many of my obsessions, I left a few wooden bowls, clusters of glass fruit, and gray sweaters behind
• although a gray dress, piece of handmade pottery, and a painting came home with me - some things I cannot resist

We got a bit of snow yesterday - it was a lovely afternoon watching it swirling about.

I Left That Where??

I have a lot of devices.

I have my beloved iMac that is beginning to show his age.

I have my new Macbook Pro laptop (kiss kiss). A powerhouse that I will be loading with all of my powerhouse software so I can do my new job on the fly as I've found working at home all the time is kinda lonely and I need the office culture to keep me lovely and smart and plugged in. This sweetie is gorgeous and I am in love with it.

I have my iPad. I didn't love my iPad at first. I kinda thought it was crazy to have, yet, another thing to manage. I have found that it's a great resource and very portable for my transient ways at the moment. My scary-genius boss set up my work email on this little baby so I have to keep it close. Pup got me a keyboard that holds it and then snaps onto as a cover. That really clinched the deal for me. I hated that touchscreen. My brain loves to work fast; when it's working.

Last, but not least, is my phone. I stopped bitching about it (finally) and find it lovely. Samsung, love has grabbed me, beat me over the head, and left me a slave to you. #overstatingismylife

Why am I talking about these life-helpers? I have a hard time managing everything!

First: the email. I have email everywhere. I have five email accounts for differing reasons. Jobs, transitioning, blog. All five of them are necessary. And all five of them come in on every device. Gah!

It doesn't stop me from losing emails. Forgetting emails. Over-answering emails. Under-answering emails. I am in email overload. I think it's my fault.

Then there is Facebook. I have been goofing with it for the past year and have found it fun and have found it a time suck as maybe some of you with Facebook have found it.

I open Facebook on my iMac, I open it on my Macbook, I open it on my iPad, I open it on my phone. I forget to shut it down. I'm sure if anyone is looking, and I'm pretty certain no one is, it looks like I'm on all the time. #fail

And the pinging. If I don't watch it, all of these things are chiming, pinging, ringing, nagging. Pup will say, "Was that you? Which one is it?" He's no better. He has lots of devices as well.

It's a dinging hell around here. And I'm not even adding in the appliances that ding and ping.

I could turn them all off and sometimes do. Turn off all the sounds that pop out of them. The quiet is good!

How do you guys manage all that you do? Am I missing an app? Don't tell me about it! But do tell me how you manage your stuff.

Things I Wonder About

How does Hotmail know I'm depressed? Or loving the chubby ladies? Or having the endless trouble with my wiener? How?

Why can't I eat dinner out without being asked 'how you doin' five or more times? But then they want to take my plate away just because I've put my fork down?

How does my aspirin know to stop my back from hurting? Why doesn't it fix something that isn't hurting?

Why has it been windy all summer?

Why are old ladies so crabby?

Why do babies smell like happiness?

Why is it I don't have to pee until the bathroom is not available?

Why is it darkest before the dawn?

Why do I blush at odd moments? Uncontrollably?

Why do I hate the word 'kid,' yet love the word 'kids'?

Why do I have to make a crazy face when I'm putting on my eye liner? I've tried to not make the face and then I cannot put it on! Grr!

Do men like it when women objectify them?

Why is confidence great, but being cocky is awful?

Why has every cat I've ever had crazy? Don't point that finger at me.

Why can I NOT concentrate on my homework?

Distraction Attraction

I worked in corporate America for a long time and it amazed me every day when I would get a 'nudge' email asking if I had read my email. You may know the email. The one asking if you had read the email sent 30 minutes prior. Which meant there was something someone needed immediately regardless of what you might be working on in the moment. Those emails.

I'm a scatterbrain (I believe it's now called being ADHD). When I was a kid my dad was constantly saying that stuff would go in one ear and out the other.

Truth? I am easily distracted. I'm not saying that lightly. I'll stop in the middle of peeing to write something down I may need to buy/do/call/make later in the day. I keep a notepad in the car to write things down, which is not the smartest, while driving. In the middle of a sentence I'll stop to mention something else I want to talk about later. When I get a puzzled look from my long-suffering conversation-companion I usually say, "Wha? You aren't in my head with me? You can't hear the cacophony going on in there? It's raucous I tell you!"

I have a hard time settling down on a project. I have millions of thoughts of things I "think" need to be done before I can start. Could that possibly be procrastination? Ha!

I constantly organize my space to better facilitate productivity (nice, huh?). I make a list. I lose the list. I make another list. It's missing things from the previous list. I combine the lists. I lose the list again. Then, when I leave for an errand, I forget the list.

I shuffle papers, moving them from this pile to that pile. Then suddenly decide that a pile HAS to go. Then I notice my plants need watering. Then my shelves need dusting. Then I think how lovely it would look if I staged the shelves differently. Then I have to pee. Where I add to my list.

You see how it is? I mean, really, do you want to be in here with me? No wonder I have such a hard time with my homework from school.

By now an hour has gone by and no work has happened on my project. What's that all about?

So - to say that email is a distraction is like saying pasta with red sauce and homemade meatballs is 'good.'

Now that I no longer work in the corporate milieu I ignore my email from time to time. I don't mean to. I guess because I can I just do. I've been untied of that restraint. It is annoying to friends and family that have emailed just the same.

And, since I AM so distractible, I forget to get to it or forget to reply or forget to read it.

I'm working on it. As I'm working on everything else. Proving that, even at a certain age, I am still a work in progress. When that stops I'll know something bad is about to happen.