ROCK at the KOA

I'm taking a class.

One of the surprising things talked about last week in class was the importance of a blog. In a different context, but the importance was stressed. Fresh content. Relevant content. Informative content. With lists. Lots of lists. People love lists. I love lists.

These days when I go on Facebook one of my favorite things to check out are links to lists.

• 10 Ways to Shop for Shoes
• 9 Mistakes You're Making at the Gym
• 8 Ways You Are Sabotaging Your Happiness
• 7 Things to Throw Away Today
• 6 Ideas You Didn't Know You Had
• 5 Celebrities That Are Dumb as a Box of Rocks

None of us want to have to dig too deep into a topic at first blush, but a pithy list? Bring it!

I am a list-maker. Always have been. From what I'm reading, my list-making is keeping me on task and organized.

OMG

I fear what would happen if I stopped my lists!

But I list-on. I've even, following my smart and lovely daughters in their lead, began using a handheld day planner again. Then the lists can be accompanied by check-offs. Oh those satisfying check-offs! Love love love this my hooches.

~~~~~~~~~~

Pup and I traveled around in our little Rigatoni RV for 10 days last month. I might tell a few stories eventually, but lets say that mostly what we learned is that we really do make each other laugh, that our dog is adorable, that we love living where we do, and mountains are beautiful to look at, but from a distance.

:)

There were a few times where I thought I was on a different planet! Our countryside is as varied as clever wine names.

Oh nummy! Wine! I think a glass of Ménage à Trois is in order!

What the heck?

A shot . . . or two . . .

We stayed in lots of KOAs across the land and I have to say that after a long day of sightseeing and defying death, it's so nice to come home to wifi, cable, sewer and water, and our cozy, big, over-the-cab bed. We were the smallest rig every night in those KOAs. How do those people drive an entire house around the country?  Some of those RVs are amazingly huge. Pup and I did laugh every night pulling in with our little Rigatoni. We looked a bit 1980s because, well, Rigatoni IS 1980s.

But it has a bathroom, hot water heater, a furnace, an oven, and a tiny TV for movies. Perfect for two bone-tired travelers at the end of the day.

We would sit at the tiny table and plot out the day to follow. How many miles, where we would stop, and what we would see.

Most heavenly!

Smooches!

I've Been Through the Valley for You*

I've just been ransacking google images for graphical representation of my grade and have discovered that unless you are getting an A or an F, no one wants to hear about it.

When did this happen? When did getting a B mean 'better luck next time chicky-poo' and 'aaaah, you poor thing'? All or nothing I'm seeing.

That's what I got! A B! On the final and overall. I may have exaggerated once that I was pulling a C, but I do now believe I was feeling the all or nothing approach to schooling.

I am happy with my B and happy that I'm done with school for a minute.

Happy!

Taking the final took over two hours out of my day and may have shortened my life by about five years.

The stress!

I read through each question so many times, went back through the exam so many times, gave answers, and then double checked what I was answering.

11:30 a.m. - Settle in chair. Computer fired up and ready. Web page accessed and logged in.

11:35 a.m. - Oh, I have to pee.

11:40 a.m. - Double checking log-in name. Is Deborah spelled right?

11:45 a.m. - Reading and rereading exam instructions.

11:50 a.m. - Shutting door. Considering locking in case Pup comes home, running through the house shouting something important like, "Somebody needs a spanking?"

11:55 a.m. - Laugh about this visual for a second or two.

12:00 p.m. - Begin for real.

12:15 p.m. - This is hard.

12:30 p.m. - I have to pee again.

12:45 p.m. - This is seriously hard. My brain is starting to hurt.

12:50 p.m. - Mind wanders to my Blackberry; do I need to check it?

12:55 p.m. - I resist.

1:00 p.m. - Are you Fing kidding me? I'm only on question 38 out of 66? Shoot me now.

1:05 p.m. - Why did I have that second enormous cup of coffee? {scurrying off to pee again}

1:10 p.m. - Agonize over questions 39 and 40. Make wild guesses.

1:15 p.m. - Go back to questions 39 and 40. Make second wild guesses.

1:20 p.m. - Hit part three of final; the easy part.

1:25 p.m. - Hit submit.

1:30 p.m. - Use curse words I didn't know I knew because I have to give an evaluation before the systems will release my grade.

1:35 p.m. - Call Instructor to ask about office code number. WTF?

1:40 p.m. - Text Lyndsi if she knows the code.

1:45 p.m. - SUBMIT and hello there B! I'm happy to meet you.

1:50 p.m. - Stumble from room looking for water like it's actually scotch.

Aaaaaaaah, sweet relief. My face is red and the anxiety is fading from my gut.

Love this feeling! Ha!

*Just try getting John Legend out of your head when you're in the middle of your final. Uh huh.

Accountability and Challenge

I am doing my final here at home today.

In class yesterday we were all talking about our different test-taking styles and it was discovered that about half of the class would prefer testing in the classroom and the other half would prefer testing at home.

I am testing at home! Eee gads and awesome. The exam is online and open book, so what difference does it make? I'm so happy.

When I am taking a test I'm good until that first person turns in their test. Then I can't stop thinking how I may be the last one standing (sitting?). The brain starts giving me background noise and I begin losing focus.

Yes, ridiculous. Who cares if you're last? Tell that to my brain.

Wish me luck. I'll be locking myself in a bit later in the day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am also beginning a personal fitness challenge, but I would LOVE anyone who would care to join me.

Goals are simple; pick whatever goal it is you desire. Mine is eating mindfully and daily exercise with a weight-loss and fitness goal in mind. I have a gadget on the right for my tracking. Does anyone know of a spiff tracking gadget we can use?

Begin it to win it!

I'll host a cyber-party for all peeps that join the challenge. Ideas are encouraged!

Here are a couple of my favorite links for help.

Mark's Daily Apple

Kelly Olexa

Brad Pilon

Let's kick it and get legendary!

Halloween

thatgirlisfunny.com

I am not a fan.

I don't like decorating Halloween.

I don't like wading through millions of spider webs every time I go shopping.

I don't like candy in the house. Note to self: do not buy Snickers. They are evil.

I don't like the slutty costumes. No woman over the age of 42, I don't care how hot you are, should be wearing Naughty Nurse Nancy costumes.

And guys, poking holes in a ziploc, placing it over your head, and calling yourself a condom isn't as clever as you think. I've seen this. Don't ask.

I do love the pumpkin scones at Starbucks. I do love the pumpkin-flavored lattes, pumpkin bread, pumpkin pie. LOVE all things pumpkin. I even look good in that color, if I wore color.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The weather here right now is crazy. I studied yesterday afternoon and it felt as if our house could become Dorothy's house at any moment. It was shaking and quaking. I'm seriously glad we had that ancient cottonwood tree removed or I may have had new greenery in our loft.

Right now I'm in the guest bedroom (still on the spare computer) and the wind is HOWLING around me. I can feel every crack and draft in this 100 year old house.

I seriously think that my lack of imagination right now is directly related to the computer I am using.

We have a Macbook, but I only like laptops for, well, my lap. Not as my real puter. So I'm on the spare PC. It's an ugly thing. Clumsy keyboard and horrible presentation. It's hard to think on this computer. And I do my homework on this computer. I am having a hard time splitting the two. Imagination and homework.

I had an appointment with the Apple docs yesterday, but the rain was whipping and the wind was blowing and I couldn't figure out how to get the damn thing from my car into the mall without dying. So I rescheduled. Yes, I am a wimp.

How you doin'?

Macintosh Smackintosh

Big surprise - image stolen from internets. I'm a criminal.
Come get me. I can't outrun you.

 My Mac has now died.

I had my tech over yesterday (he has no web page or I'd totally link to him, he's been my Mac tech for nearly 12 years - yikes!).

After doing all his voodo whoodo and diagnostics and housecleaning his face got 'that look' and he said, "You know, this hardly ever happens with these little iMacs, but your hard drive is dying."

Deborah say wah?

Oye to the vey.

Poopy shitty.

Holy crapinoli.

Who's ass can I kick?

Pouting.

Ranting.

Eating.

The best part (sarcasm?? hehehe), I need to take it to Apple. Yep, I have to schlep my Mac and it's power cord to Apple. I'd insert a well-timed F word, but if I start I'll never stop.

I'll eyeball the iPads I've been lusting for lately. Oh yeah, did I mention that my netbook took a shit as well? Uh huh. I'm the puter-death-ray around these parts. Pup grabbed his MacBook and hid it. Pussy!

So! It's all good. I'm on the Pup-spare in the guest room (damn PC - hate that clumsy, clunky, noisy thing), I have a mid-term to study for, and I didn't hit the bottle.

It's a good day!

Oh, my God, Mr. Kotter, I thought you was gonna die, I swear!

 I am taking a tax preparation class this semester.

It meets Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 1:00 until 4:00. Three hours. That's a good stretch of time to listen to a lecture peppered with, "What kind of credit would that be"? and "Is that a credit or would that be a deduction"?

Instructor is a nice person. I'm pretty sure she is nice.

She is nice, but this does not stop me from making fun of her. I come home from class and Pup pulls up a chair to listen to me impersonate her.

He is a CPA and he gets a good roar at my thoughts on all things tax related. Mostly because I'm a smartass and can do an awesome mimic. I have Instructor down!

I am going to fry in hell.

Instructor can't help it. She LOVES what she does. She loves teaching this class, she loves taxes. Did you hear me? SHE LOVES TAXES.

She loves it so much that at 4:00, when me and my niece (the adorable Lyndsi - who not only is the cutest girl ever, but a newlywed to the cutest boy ever) are packing up our poorly-edited large and tenderly-printed texts, checking our phones for *something* - *anything*, Instructor is just gearing up to go over one of the reviews we had to do for homework.

At 4:00.

Many times on Friday night.

Yes, Friday night. The night some couples might have their date night. The night that some people may want to get to the grocery store before the crowd. The night that someone may want to rush home to change to get to an event that is on their calendar. Just sayin'.

4:05 - Instructor is telling a riveting story about a client that came into her office without the address from their daycare. Some people just don't know the value of documentation!

4:06 - Instructor is f10ing her way through an electronic form saying things like, "you have to ask the right questions." Now? I have no questions woman. I want the answers so I can hop in my car and get this place in my rearview!

4:07 - Lyndsi's phone is buzzing and buzzing - her new hubbins is out of town and would like to TALK TO HIS WIFE! His texts are all "doesn't class let out at 4:00"???

4:09 - Lyndsi and I are mumbling, rolling our eyes, and banging things around on our table. Loudly! We are also wondering why we are the only ones packing up to get the hell out. Doesn't anyone else need to be anywhere? Oh wait, this room is full of people that LOVE TAXES.

4:11 - Instructor says she understands if anyone needs to leave. This would mean leaving before she gives out the answers for the homework. We need the answer so we can see if we are doing it correctly. My eye is beginning to twitch. I try to stop myself from looking out at the gorgeous afternoon that is BEGGING ME TO BE A PART OF.

4:15 - I place a well-timed question to nudge the process along. I do believe I am known to Instructor as "bitch." No she hasn't said it out loud, but the eyes ARE the window and all that crap. And I am a smartass. I know this to be true.

4:16 - Really? Serious?

4:17 - Instructor is now fumbling her way through her books, coming up with the answers. "The Miller's federal refund is $759 - oh wait, that's not right. Oh yes, here it is, they are getting $1,249 from federal and are paying into state $79. Oh! I'm on the wrong page."

sigh

I stare at Instructor with not-love in my eyes.

I am going to fry in hell. Who will be there with me?

Things I Wonder About

How does Hotmail know I'm depressed? Or loving the chubby ladies? Or having the endless trouble with my wiener? How?

Why can't I eat dinner out without being asked 'how you doin' five or more times? But then they want to take my plate away just because I've put my fork down?

How does my aspirin know to stop my back from hurting? Why doesn't it fix something that isn't hurting?

Why has it been windy all summer?

Why are old ladies so crabby?

Why do babies smell like happiness?

Why is it I don't have to pee until the bathroom is not available?

Why is it darkest before the dawn?

Why do I blush at odd moments? Uncontrollably?

Why do I hate the word 'kid,' yet love the word 'kids'?

Why do I have to make a crazy face when I'm putting on my eye liner? I've tried to not make the face and then I cannot put it on! Grr!

Do men like it when women objectify them?

Why is confidence great, but being cocky is awful?

Why has every cat I've ever had crazy? Don't point that finger at me.

Why can I NOT concentrate on my homework?

The Sun is Shining - You Know How I Feel

We dusted off the little car, wrapped ourselves up in sweaters and, for me anyway, a scarf, and headed off to Wagner's Drive-In.

A cold ride! Even with the butt-warmers turned on.

I had hot coffee, chicken strips, and homemade coleslaw. Pup thinks this may have been the earliest he has broken out the summer car since he bought it.

Now I'm having a hard time settling down and getting back to the biz of studying. Wanna come help me? Please? Because I'm totally sick with the fever.

I Got an "A" on My Midterm!

Financial Accounting

I took it last Wednesday. The few days leading up to the test found me anxious and not optimistic. Not at all. I was fretting, eating badly, worn out, not sleeping, crabby crabby crabby!

I went into class with my one page of allowed notes (one side) that I had created in 6-point type. Hey! It's fair!

We had two hours. The kid in front of me finished in about 20 minutes, packed up his backpack, and left. Oh dear!

It took me nearly the entire two hours. Why am I so nervous? What's going to happen to me? Am I going to be swept up by the dumb-police and carted off to dumbass jail? No? Maybe?

As I hand my test paper to my instructor I say,

"Well, that was a blast."

Without blinking an eye, he looks me up and down and says,

"I bet."

I fear he doesn't have much faith in me either.

So today when I got to class Mr. Warm & Fuzzy told us to come up front and pick up our papers.

Mine said 91.

I shut my eyes. That couldn't be right.

I looked again. Yep, it still said 91.

91!

I immediately texted anyone who would care to know. I felt light as a feather, smart as a whip, happy as a clam!

Get out of the way dumbass school - you'll have to find someone else to warm that bench.

Whoooo hoo!

I'm So Tired

I've been studying all day! My eyes are dry and blinky. I just voluntarily did dishes to get the hell away from these damn books.

It was in the 40s here. Sun shining like a . . . well . . . sun. It's actually hot in the house from the sun beating on the west side. It looked lovely from my cage workspace.

I'm not whining! It's just the sun in my eyes.

Okay peeps. I'm off to do some problems. Pray for me.

Overheard

In Excel class Tuesday, cute, blonde, leather-booted, 40ish instructor Michelle, walking into class with her darling black turtleneck (we know how I feel about these - just ask my daughters) and her leopard-print skirt . . .

Do you guys belong to me? You look like you belong to me.

I'm thinking that most of the men in that class were wishing they belonged to her.

I wanted to surreptitiously take a photo of her because she's the most interesting fashion I've seen yet on campus.

I've been SEARCHING for something interesting, but it is winter here and most people leave their coats on in class. I, myself, rarely take off the scarf wrapped around my neck. It's cold in them thar rooms!

It's a commuter college. Very small campus. I'm thinking that people roam in for class and then roam right back out. That's how I'm rolling anyway. There's no awesome library to hang out in, but I've been considering going to my local library to do financial homework since it is distracting at home. I apparently have the attention span of a 12-year old boy looking at his father's Playboy.

Ha!

Spring is right around the corner they keep telling me.

I saw the first sign of spring, for me anyway. Daffodils! Yes, they are from Trader Joe's, but it is the first sign for me.

Truth? It doesn't get nice here until May. Maybe not even then. Why do I love it here so?

Wrong Assignment

I know that being left-handed has its challenges. I know I have to be in absolute quiet to read my Financial Accounting textbook. I know I will have to work twice as hard to get half as far.

Grr and arg!

I am enjoying the organized process of this class. I do love the neat (well, kinda neat) rows of numbers (with some erasure marks to be certain).

But turning in the wrong homework? ::banging head::

Twice?

I had it written down wrong. I heard him and wrote it down wrong.

My instructor gave me credit in spite of that. I'd kiss him, but he doesn't look like the easily-influenced type. You know what I'm saying? Ha!

My brain fascinates me! Should I donate it?

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda

This is where my creative, fun time comes into play.

This is where I am spending all my time lately.

Notice the difference between the computers?

One is sexy.

One is not.

PCs are just not sexy. Sorry PC people. I love my little netbook and love taking it about with me and love that I can have the damn thing in the study dining room while studying.

But the office with my Mac calls to me when I'm out in the dining room studying. It wants me to begin projects.

I could start shooting videos and edit them. It's easy with my Mac.

I should really get a better camera and do cool photo manipulation in PhotoShop. My blog would be fantastic with different visuals.

Now I'm thinking of all these things I could be doing. Things I would do if I had time.

I really need to design the space in our bedroom. Wouldn't it be cool to redo the wall of windows with . . . blah blah blah.

I could make those drops for the wii space. I bought the fabric, I could hang it from the . . . blah blah blah.

Shoulda, woulda, coulda. Now that I can't I really want to! Ha!

< /whining>

School is kicking my butt peeps. I am finding out much about myself.

1. I will do every little, mundane, unimportant, can-wait-till-later task that I can find before settling down to actually do my homework.
2. My homework takes me an inordinate amount of time. I have to be methodical! My biggest fear is it will all slide out of my brain and I'll lose it in the Minnesota black slush (ugly time of year peeps).
3. I'm enjoying the studying part in spite of my bitchin'.
4. Class makes my brain become mush. The minute any of my instructors begin speaking it sounds like Latin. I just read the crap in my text and it made sense. Why not now?
   
5. Number four leads to number five. I am visual. BIG FREAKIN' SURPRISE yes? I have just discovered why I have struggled with school when I was younger.
   
6. I am a nimrod.

Notice the picture of Staging Your Comeback? I have not forgotten it. I will be cracking the spine of that book more regularly now as well.

Meanwhile:

• I am thankful that I have a brain
• I am thankful it still works (I had major doubts)
• I am thankful I am married to a CPA so when I am so mired in numbers he can help me sort them out
• I am thankful no one is sitting behind me pondering my need for a root touchup. (cuz we all know my hair is PERFECT. Ha!)
  

What are you guys doing during this winter season to stage your comeback? What is your wrecking ball? What new passion is keeping you up too late at night?

If I Knew How to Get There, I Wouldn't Have to Ask

I am an introverted extrovert.

I never sit in the front, I hate going into a party alone, "networking" at an event gives me reason to drink. When I first began dating Pup and had to find him at a golf event and meet his gang of peeps I had what can only be described as a panic attack while getting ready.

Yet, I'm the first one on the dance floor, I sing Karaoke, I can speak in front of a crowd, and I draw attention to myself purposely with what I have always called my "social tourettes."

Example: I worked in a corporate job for many years as a graphic designer/print buyer for a human resource company (talk about a square peg!). Riding in the elevator I would always have these thoughts that would pop into my mind that I didn't always resist. Like the time I couldn't stop myself from turning to face the people behind me in the elevator, or the time I asked in an elevator, "Anyone smell that?" These things that pop into my head are irresistible! Can't you hear them?

In class last night there was a woman who was asking questions, a part of basic accounting that she couldn't get. It was a good question and the instructor was having a hard time explaining it to her. He couldn't get her to see it.

So he came up with a brilliant idea. A quiz for next week on her question.

My mouth opens - don't do it! my mind hollers - but I ignore.

"Somebody kill her," I say.

Twitters from my fellow not-too-far-in-the-back dwellers.

Ha!

Please Don't Call on Me!

The Scene
Class

I am sitting, as my middle-class, Lutheran, upbringing would have it, near the back, on the end. Not too far back, not too far in the front.

Instructor is lecturing, I am taking notes, I am understanding. Look how convincing I am! I even convince myself! Aaaaaaamaaaaaaziiiing!

He pulls out something that suspiciously looks like a testing board. He keeps calling it a "pretest," but by now my brain has stopped working.

Did he use the word "test"? OMfriggin'G.

I am sweating, I am palpitating. I am flunking.

Oh - that can't be true. I got my name right, although I am pretty certain I forgot to put in my student ID number.

When Pup comes home I tell him about the test. We look at it together. He looks at my notes. He points out how I was actually writing down stuff that was on the test paper.

"I did"?

"Yeah. baby, it's all right here. Look. Assets Value = Liabilities + Equity. You even wrote it down twice."

"I did"?

"Yeah."

"Me?"

"Yeah. Okay, now look at this question - what are the parts of business activity"?

"Uh . . ."

"Sweetie! You wrote it down"!

:::moaning:::

"Can you text me during the real test"?

We both bust out laughing.

Pup asks me, "What DO you remember from class"?

Me, "Well, the woman in front of me needed her roots done."

"Really? You noticed that"?

"Yeah! And I noticed I was the only one in there that was left-handed."

Pup lets out a huge sigh. "Good thing you live with me."

I nod in agreement.


I mean - who goes into a financial accounting class without her highlighter and calculator?? Who?

The instructor did say it could take some of us a time or two for all of this to start to sink in. I believe I might be one of those people.

Meanwhile, I made additional notes to bring in my camera to capture campus fashion. Is this bad?

School

This fills my heart with fear! FEAR FEAR FEAR!

Whew - that felt good.

I'm registered, paid up, schedule set. This might be the hugest wrecking ball yet.

I'm looking forward to seeing campus fashion. How will I look in VS sweats with my hair in a pony and skinny headbands holding back my hair? Ha!