Overheard

This is not my creation, but it's so adorable!

We moved Momma Betty (Pup's momma) into an assisted living community recently and while all of this is new and scary for her we want to make certain that she gets the lay of the land. But, of course, all of us are idiots and no one went over any of the paperwork given to us from the facility.

There's a lot to learn.

First of all - you can't just show up in the cafe and expect breakfast. You have to plan for that - as the kitchen would. So we were to have signed up the day before; which we didn't.

No, this is not a restaurant. Ha! You get what they're serving. Three very sad faces in my group. This family eats out a lot! Which means I eat out a lot! There will be a period of adjustment here.

So, while we're wreaking havoc in our Pup-family way, I sit back to listen to some of the other Q-tips (my affectionate naming of the senior-set). There is a conversation going on at a table just off of my left a bit.

Older gentleman is saying to older lady:

How long have you been here?

She replies:

Oh, I think I've been here the longest of anyone. I've been here since 1997!

Older gentleman:

What? No you haven't! I've been here the longest! 

Older Lady:

I don't remember you. I'm certain I would have seen you around.

Older gentleman:

I got down here at 7:30! I was the first!

Older lady shaking her head and looking confused.

Another older gentleman chimes in:

Honey, he means today - how long have you been here today?

She exclaims:

Now why would you want to know that? Breakfast doesn't start until 8:30!

I was choking on my oatmeal.

~~~~~~~

Happy New Year everyone!

Obsession

I've had this one for as long as I can remember. It's a bit embarrassing. Proof that I am eternally 12 years-old. Yeah, I knew you would agree!

I have a love.

A love for . . .

Office supplies.

Yep, I can't resist new mechanical pencils, the perfect gel pen, and notebooks.

Notebooks.

I have them tucked everywhere. In my handbag, in the kitchen, on my office desktop (well, duh!), in my bedroom, in my car, in The Big Room, in Pup's car, in the bathroom. Yes, even there. You just don't know when a random thought might appear and let's be clear here - if I don't write it down immediately, it's gone. GONE!

I know I've passed this particular obsession to at least one of my daughters. Along with my love of hair twirling. Hey! It's what mothers are for.

I don't think of my obsession as bad, I think of it as necessary.

I know they have some office supplies hidden in here somewhere.

What's your secret obsession?

Knee Deep in the Bootla

Well, not exactly. It's snowed a bit here and there, but not the pounding I'm desiring. It's winter! Let's get our snow on!

We have passed the shortest day which always makes me happy because now we're heading back to longer days of more light.

I do kinda cocoon in during these dark dark days. Very reflective. Maybe even a touch down. It's my nature. I'm mostly happy, but have never minded nurturing a down day here and there. It just feels right at times.

So I pad around in slippers and flannel, enjoying my SAD experience. If that makes no sense, well then welcome! You are beginning to get it!

All of that aside, let's enjoy a few shots of our Eve Eve.

Wow! Is that my house? I like it!

See the workout outfit hanging on the door at the top of the stairs? Yeah, it's been hanging there for more than a minute. Heh!

George is waiting for everyone to get here already. Don't they know he's waiting to hump them and jump on them? Bad dog.

The meatballs. I only ate one while making them. That might be the first time ever.

Load up the tray to set the table.

Simple, but so pretty.

We all have feet.

George might be pouting. He really has no idea that his life is perfect.

But the Squeekers get it.

I hope your days were merry and bright.

Smooches all my holiday hooches.

Lately

December 20th.

How is it that each and EVERY Christmas it sneaks up on me. December 1st was just two days ago yes? Poopy shitty.

We've been hosting quite a bit here at Chez Emerson. We had a small, but lovely, Thanksgiving where I managed to bring the meal to the table on time and in a tasty fashion. And this past Saturday we hosted The Pup Family Christmas at our house. I think about 38 people were milling around here.

The Pup Family Christmas usually is held at the church since there are so many of us, especially now since my family is involved and the young uns are pairing up and reproducing at an alarming rate. I'm kidding, there isn't anything alarming about it.

But having it at the church, in the church basement, was never much fun. We would congregate, (like that? I'm really good I know) eat, play the dice game, clean up, leave.

Pup's sister had it at her house a couple of years ago and it was sooooo much better. We decided when it was our turn we would chance it here.

Of course it had to fall on the weekend following my first week on the new job. By Wednesday, when I would come home full of funny stories, excitement about what I was learning, and simple exhaustion because learning is hard - and then fall into bed by 9:00 instead of planning, cleaning, organizing - I was getting a bit worried.

Oh hell, let's not lie. I was getting a big fretful.

No reason to fret.

I was more organized than I realized. I had written the menu and sent out assignments to all involved so by Saturday morning all I had to do was throw the turkey in the oven, put the honey baked in the crock and open some wine. I had implored Lorenzo to come early to help, but she and the BT came and just got to hang out with us and visit. And Lorenzo and I drank some coffee with Bailey's - mmmm!

It went off perfectly. Just how I wanted it. Instead of all of the families breaking into groups by family like we always did at the church, I found groups of people TALKING and LAUGHING. It was wonderful. I kinda wouldn't mind having it every year, but don't tell Pup.

This week we are hosting The Eve Eve (the kidlets and theirs come be with us alone) and Pup is pouting big time because I'm making my world famous spaghetti and meatballs á la Marlena - my momma. I've said before that I am a good cook, not a great cook, but I do have two areas where I am the best. In my head the best.

My meatballs are beyond good. I'm serious. Not like anything you've ever had. Don't argue with me and think, "Oh she hasn't had mine" because you'd be wrong.

Yes, I'm half kidding, but half NOT kidding. For real y'all.

So, my meatballs and then my gravy. I can make gravy. I can make you fall in love with gravy.

The rest that I can cook is good, but these two are superb. It's not bragging when it's the truth. Ha!

But Pup is pouting because he says that's not traditional and I said suck it Pup. I made turkey twice in two months. Enough with the turkey. He said I am vicious. Smooches my Pup - I'll make traditional on Christmas day.

Overheard

I went to the funeral of my dear friend's momma's yesterday. I have known my friend since I was around 16 so I have known her momma for that time as well. Many days and evenings were spent at her house and I always found her momma entertaining, lovely, funny, and stylish.

She was a wonderful woman and passed suddenly and unexpectedly. She was 86. When she was 83 she jumped out of an airplane. Yes, she was that woman. Don't you want to be her? Except now that I'm in my 50s, 86 just seems too young. I know that sounds ridiculous. :)

I am sitting in a pew and people watching, as I like to do, and I become aware of a conversation going on behind me. A man and a woman. They know each other, but haven't seen one another for a while from what I was hearing.

The family comes in and takes their places in the front. The man behind me whispers to the woman, "I have one word for _________ - Botox." (I'm not really certain who he was talking about, but I have a good idea.)

The woman giggled. Then the man said, "If you repeat that I will deny." The woman giggled again.

A few minutes later we stood during the singing of the closing hymn so I could turn a bit to see my whisperers. They were about 80 themselves! I had to choke down laughter. I kinda felt like Mary Richards from the Chuckles the Clown episode of The Mary Tyler Moore Show.

I kept it dignified like you know I am (ahem) and giggled to myself now and then the remainder of the day. Seriously put a cherry on the whole experience. And I think my friend's momma would have laughed as well.

Smooches my hooches.

What's on My Samsung

It just doesn't have the same ring does it?

I will never love it like I loved my Blackberry. It doesn't fit in my handbag phone slots. It gets all schmeary after I'm done yapping on it. It doesn't let me know when I have emails all the time. Ya. And I have emails from my new boss I need to get. Ya. Piece of . . .

:)

Hello emoticon - you old resource you.

The week though is something!

Supplements for Complients

Or something?

I take a lot of supplements.

sidebar - holla Vitacost.com!

But I have a hard time taking them. I forget. I procrastinate. I ignore. I gag.

Blech . . .

I want to take them. I have spent money on these bad boys. I have obviously decided I need these. I have millions - well at least dozens - of reasons to take these.

So why don't I?

What do y'all do to take your supplements. Tricks? Tips?

Right now I scoop them all out and plop them into a zipper baggy. Then I tuck it where I am. In my handbag, in my tote bag, on my desk, on the kitchen island, in the bathroom.

Some days I win. Some days they win.

Ideas needed!

When I've had to give pills to George (dog) I cover them with peanut butter. Hmm . . . I may be on to something.

An Ass Like an Apple

I saw one tonight. At the gym. On a guy. An older guy.

Pup pointed him out to me saying, "I don't know how old that guy is, but look at his physique. We need him to be our trainer."

I said, "Let's follow him and you can do everything he does." Pup laughed. But he did press some metal for a few sets. About 100 pounds? I dragged him over to the free weight section as well. We did some arm dips together.

Pup mostly likes to sit on the machines and rest.

I shook hands with that cable and handle thingy that sits in the corner of our gym. Actually, there are two of them. Of course I forget the name. I'll get it and report back.

It has cables and weights and you can customize it for all the upper body muscles you want to make cry.

I think I might be crying tomorrow when I try to lift my arms over my head. That will make me happy!

Manifesting

I quit my job at The Turnstyle. I have something new burbling for me and I am excited beyond belief. They say it isn't what you know, but who you know and I recently proved that it's a bit of both.

My Alli McBeal had recently gotten a sales job for a great company and we talked about a hole in their process that she thought I could fill. She encouraged me to write her boss a letter.

Which I did.

And he actually responded.

And asked me to lunch.

So I had a new assignment given to me by Ms. McBeal. Write a business plan (after several revisions and prodding from Alli McBeal it was perfection - yes it was!) for myself, revamp my resume, and sell myself like a sales pro.

Which I did.

And got hired as a consultant on a project to project basis.

I had to drink not one, but two Maker's Presbyterians after that meeting. I do believe I was walking on air for over a week. Wait - let me check my feet - yup - still not touching the floor. I see much shopping and outfit creation in my future.

These people have no idea what's in store for them. It's the best day of their lives as well.

I am manifesting success - was it effective? Whoooo ha!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Turnstyle is a privately owned company and has about 14 locations around The Cities. I visited a different one from the one I used to work at yesterday and had a fun hour or so finding some lovely things. Groupons were burning holes in my pockets!

I had a couple of questions about the items I was considering purchasing and the Little Woman manning the register said, "Oh you'll have to talk to the manager about that."

I said, "I'd love to. Could you get her for me?"

Little Woman replied, "She's right over there."

I looked where she was pointing and said, "May I speak to her?"

Little Woman said, "Oh, you'll have to get her." She then shot me a look. Not a nice look come to think of it.

I said, "Would you get her for me please?"

Another look. A huge sigh. A stomping off to get manager.

I stood there waiting for the manager to come to the register, thinking to myself - why is the customer treated like this in a retail store?

I don't know why exactly, but I was shocked. I had a pile of stuff I wanted to get, I had a question. Was I seriously expected to chase down the manager, not knowing her name, carrying all my items with me, to interrupt her with my questions - rather than have her come to me at the register and deal with my quick questions on the spot?

The manager was very nice, answered my questions, and I went ahead with part of my purchases.

Little Woman was visibly annoyed with me. She rang up my stuff and I handed her my Groupon. Another look was shot in my direction. Another huge sigh.

I wanted to reach over the counter and ring the damn sale myself.

She completed my sale. My pile of stuff on the counter.

"Could I have a bag please," I asked?

HUGE SIGH FROM HER LITTLE CHEST

I get retail burnout. I worked retail for 15 months and some of the customers were nightmares. I could very well have been her nightmare for the day. But I was so sad to be treated like that.

So - the point of this ramble is a question for y'all. When presented with stranger rudeness, how do you respond? Do you stand your ground? Acquiesce? Stay calm? Become a bitch?

I stood there looking at the Little Woman. I smiled at her. Thanked her. Picked up my (bagged) items and left the store. I'm certain she thought me a bitch nonetheless.

There is lots of shopping to do in the next couple of weeks. I will manifest pleasant.

Leave the Gun. Take the Cannoli.

I took the most ridiculous pictures yesterday. I don't even want to download them from my Nikon because they define WTH. I'd love to be all "arty-farty," but I'm more "holy-hell-what-is-that?" I am an elegant doofus. Yup. I should get me a t-shirt and make it official.

But the day was good! We had a very small group this year. Just Lorenzo and BT. Pup's wayward brother was coming, but chickened out at in the end. I felt bad because he either spent the day alone or in a bar. Either one is not good.

I made the smallest turkey I ever made. I think it was only 12 pounds. It looked like a big chicken. So, of course, I overcooked it a bit.

But that's what gravy is for! I made a roaster pan inches thick with that stuff. Oooooo, it was good. My momma taught me how to make gravy when I was pretty small. I think 10 or 11. I honed that talent while pregnant with Lorenzo. I had a pregnancy related craving for everything smothered in gravy so we ate it every night if memory serves.

I learned new things this Thanksgiving.

1. It's a big meal to make, even with a small group.
2. Riesling wine isn't always good. Paaaatooy I say.
3. Having a huge weight lifted from me is fantastic! I feel like me again. 
4. Cranberries from the can are delicious spread on a piece of turkey like jelly (smooch to my Shelley-Belly).
5. New and easier recipes are good (again, thanks to my Shelley-Belly).
6. The Godfather rocks.

Lorenzo and BT spent the first part of the day at his 'rentals (the Lorenzo way to say parents) and had a noon meal then came to our house for the evening meal. BT and Pup rolled into the Big Room to wait for Lorenzo and me to clear up in the kitchen a bit (we did not do dishes - yes they are still in the kitchen, right now, haunting me).

The Godfather was marathoning on AMC (I think) so we dragged out our copy after hearing that Lorenzo had never seen The Godfather. WTH??? How did I raise a child that has never seen The Godfather?

So we pulled the pit (couch) into a big square and the four of us lay in it to watch. Appropriate since Lorenzo and I were drinking Coppola wine. Nummy.

I think I was snoring before you could say "she sleeps with the fishes."


BTW - how beautiful was Al Pacino in this movie?

Never Bored

Are you that kind of person? The kind that is never bored?

I have to honestly say that I am never bored. I don't know what that says about me, good or bad. It has always seemed to me that if you truly are feeling bored, you are the responsible one for that. How can we expect others to constantly entertain us? Not that I don't get entertained by others, cuz I love being entertained!

I have had the flu for the past couple of days. Maybe more than a couple of days. They have kinda run into each other like they do when you're sick. I was shocked to come-to this morning and realize it is Sunday. What the hell? I lost at least three days somewhere in there.

But this morning, while my head is still stuffed and my brain a little less than, at least I do not feel feverish at all (not that I don't enjoy feeling a bit feverish - ha!) and maybe I can have a Sunday and get to a few things.

How do you cope with being sick? What do you wear?

For me, since I was literally a hot mess (at one point Pup remarked, "your arse is on fire!" - not meant in that oh my god so hot kind of way) and then a shivering mess, I chose to cozy up in the Big Room with a sheet and pillows on my part of the pit-couch, next to the fireplace, wearing my coziest sweatpants and camisole with a hoodie so the hoodie could come off and go on and come off and go on and come off and go on. You get the picture.

Sidebar: I just resisted, at least three times, inserting an emoticon. Some things really never change.

Yesterday morning I had dragged my feverish, hot arse down to the Big Room rather early, I think 5 a.m. or so, all the pets were in there with me hanging out, and it started raining. Then it began to sound like golf balls were bouncing off of the roof of the Big Room. So loud!

I ran to the back door to look out and discovered hail was falling - loudly and thickly.

I placed these two examples to show size. That watch has a very large face.

I haven't seen hail like that in years!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It feels like the start of the weekend to me peeps, but it isn't. I'll still say - get on it!

I'm going to find some mind-finding pharmaceuticals to help me and get on it as well.

Smooch - unless you're afraid of contagion.

Looking for Help in All the Right Places

I am in a funk.

I want to post details. I better not post details. Believe me when I say the details are not interesting.

But the funk it leaves behind is. Interesting. Or at the very least, a tool. Learning tool.

I'm kinda puzzling through it this early morning right along with you dear grokker. Or dear mocker. ;)

So, I am pushing through. I think I am? I am! The sugar of yesterday becomes the resolve of today?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was doing some reading this morning about cravings and resolve and depression and how biology affects these seemingly willpower-based behaviors. Kinda amazing how damaged internal systems will spiral our bodies into an even more damaged state. I can see that these things are not a simple fix.

Leptin resistance and adrenal compromise seem to be key in all of this. My insomnia and cravings seem to be only symptoms of a bigger problem. I have flirted with all of this in the past, but have not taken most of it seriously enough. I think it may be serious. You'd think just the insomnia would be incentive enough!

I am researching a local resource to help me as wading through all of this information is a bit overwhelming!

I am looking for the start. It isn't as easy as you'd think.

This plant seems representative in a way today. This is my cat's contribution to the decor. He seems to need some greens!

Whoops!

A week! A whole week!

Busy. Just like everyone else. Busy, and frankly, not good. Not a good week. No specific bitching, but let's just say, not good.

Kinda feeling like I was feeling last year.

Well, maybe not this bad. Or yes, this bad.

:)

Just reading that t-shirt design is making me laugh, so it can't be all that bad! I never did order one. I think I should rethink that decision.

Good thing I'm a laugher. Is laugher a word? I don't think so. Regardless, that is what I am. Even in the state I'm in I was laughing quite a bit at The Turnstyle yesterday. It could have simply been hysteria. I'll go with entertained. If you can't be entertained, then you may as well bench yourself.

Okay - this post is self-indulgent. I like it! I feel better!

What is your challenge from the week? What got you out or in a stuck place. I'd love to hear.

Smooches all of my lovely and loved peeps.

Morning Joe

I like to watch Morning Joe on MSNBC. A balanced viewpoint. Left and right. I like to see what Mika is wearing (yes, shallow) and actually I like to see what Joe is wearing as well.

And I like to listen to them.

This morning I was up so early they weren't even on yet! But now that they are, this morning they are broadcasting from a pub somewhere. The pub looks very contemporary. I want to have breakfast there with the chic-looking crowd.

And I am drinking my morning joe. Can't start my morning without my morning joe.

And I want to talk about bulletproof coffee. Lots of buzz in the paleo/primal community about this way to help with intermittent fasting. I personally love to intermittent fast a bit during the week. I've found that since I've been in my 50s it's difficult to maintain a certain weight unless I eat very low calories. I know many believe that's not a good thing, but there is a separate thought that eating lower calories is beneficial for our longevity.

I do it to maintain and lose weight. And it makes me feel pretty darn good.

When behaving (which I am) I like to eat one main meal during my day. I start with my beloved coffee. I like to have that first large mug with a bit of heavy cream and stevia. Mmmm! Some good fat, the caffeine I love, and a bit of natural sweetness.

Then I decide which meal I am eating that day. Totally depends on what I am doing.

For instance, today I am meeting an old co-worker for lunch (Cute-Girl-Training-Me from when I worked at The Tumbler) so lunch is my main meal. Then I'm heading to the gym and later in the afternoon I am volunteering from 6:30 to 9:30. No supper.

So, my second cup of coffee will most likely be bulletproof.

Recipe for Bulletproof Coffee

place in a blender (I use my magic bullet):
fresh brewed coffee
2-3 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 tablespoon MCT oil for max energy, weight loss and brain function (optional if you have none, but from what I read this is good for boosting metabolism)
I like to add a generous dusting of cinnamon cuz I love it
blend

It turns into a frothy, creamy, hot, and surprisingly delicious and satisfying drink. When I first read about this I nearly gagged thinking about butter in my coffee. I tried it and now I'm a convert.

The point of the bulletproof recipe is satiety. The fat from the butter and MCT oil is satisfying and will stave off rumbly tummies for quite a long while. Hours if you can believe. And it contains no carbohydrates. And because I’m having it for breakfast, I am setting my body to burn fat for energy all day long.

I can totally see how this wouldn't be for everyone. But if you are intrigued, give it a whirl. Literally!

Bad Romance

Actually, bad headache. Bad romance just sounded better didn't it? I just - this minute - watched the video. This song was way better in my memory. That's how some things are! So I won't be linking it. Lucky you!

This was a BAD weekend. The whole thing. It's done now and yay! I have today off and maybe I can play catchup for a bit.

I don't get headaches as a rule. Mostly this is true.

One day a few months ago I had an episode of flashing lights in my eyes. Pup gets these frequently and they always lead to a migraine for him. So when I had this happen I braced myself. But I only had the flashing lights. Which is VERY disorienting.

Last week while working with Bianca Jagger (Alli-Baby's daughter) right when I was checking in for my shift I got the flashing lights. It starts out with a visual tic - the one where if you stare at a graphic and then look away it looks like you are still seeing the graphic. I'm not certain if I'm describing it clearly, but I bet we've all had that experience.

This time it looked like this:

So creepy! It lasted about 30 minutes and left my head feeling like I had HAD a headache, but I hadn't.

Friday night - no sleep. None! Flashing lights that turned into a killer headache. An all day headache. I had a full day planned. Had to cancel all of it. Sad!

Yesterday - worked. Just a dull pounding where the headache had been. Totally doable.

Slept finally - woke with totally different type of headache.

Holy Hannah! Look at all the headache bitching I just did. I am wondering if it's just adjusting to the new everything with fall hitting and the weather being different and simply being more sensitive to all of these things. This may be the thing I hate the most about getting older. Developing all of these sensitivities that I was just oblivious to in the past or I am turning into a wussy. Feel free to substitute a letter if you will. Heh!

So - bad romance with my head.

I'm drinking my coffee and planning my attack for today.

Think about me!

~~~~~~~

Edit: I was just scrolling through a couple of past posts and saw that I did have a headache earlier in the week. I am stuffing them down! I swear I do not get these often. 

Quote

I do wish I had taken my own advice and not posted anything political. Too polarizing! And it's a losers game.

Anyone need an antacid after eating that piece of annoying pie?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
~Theodore Roosevelt

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
~Groucho Marx

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
~George Burns

Government exists to protect us from each other. Where government has gone beyond its limits is in deciding to protect us from ourselves.
~Ronald Reagan

Show me a young Conservative and I'll show you someone with no heart. Show me an old Liberal and I'll show you someone with no brains.
~Winston Churchill

A change is brought about because ordinary people do extraordinary things.
~Barack Obama

You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn't that long ago that we were swept away by the Macarena.
~Jon Stewart

The rights of every man are diminished when the rights of one man are threatened.
~John F. Kennedy

When in Rome

I've never been to Rome. Have you? It is definitely on my list. The whole of Europe is on my list. Especially Italy. Or London. I can't decide which I'd want to see first. I mean southern Italy I'm thinking. Apparently I just want me some pasta.

And that's only because I am not eating pasta.

What I am eating a lot of right now is Chipotle. I love that restaurant. Technically it is fast food, but the company model is they buy local when possible and definitely organic and use meats that are hormone-free. And you can customize your bowl. And it's delicious.

Bella and I volunteered last night and I bribed her to go with me to Chipotle beforehand. We were even late because of it. I had worked that day and hadn't really eaten anything.

The guys working the food were very generous with the vegis. And the chicken. And the guac. Mmmmm. Heaven for me. And a great choice when you're on the run. I am forswearing any other fast food. I don't really like fast food to be honest. Culvers has good soup from time to time. Pup loves to stop there after we've been to the gym so I usually get soup, tea, and maybe I'll eat one of his real chicken strips. Not horrible.

But the rest of those places - nope.

I read lots of my nutrition blogs and they have fabulous recipes. I have binders full of recipes (sorry - cannot get that off of my mind) and I do like to pull those binders out and cook on occasion, but the truth is I don't cook often. I know I've mentioned that Pup is not a foodie. In fact he's the opposite of a foodie. I do get bored with the limited options that he will eat and the real fact is I am not home much in the evening so not much cooking gets done here at Chez Emerson.

So I am figuring out how to eat out. I've talked about it before I do believe. It's hard to not overeat when you go out. So, I hit Chipotle a couple of times this week, went out with Pup and chose soup, and had breakfast out a time or two. Breakfast out is easy. But, still figuring the rest of it out.

So . . .

1. The week went lickity-split. My daily list didn't get much of the original items checked off, but a few were added and checked off. It's a wash. Do you guys ever add something to your list just so you can cross it off? I'm a nut. Progression is my thing.
2. A few times this week I started the day with bulletproof coffee. I'll post a recipe and links tomorrow.

Ooop, that's not bulletproof coffee, that's Andy Cohen. I love how he dresses and was making note of how he combines color and plaid often. I swoon for his fashion sense. Bella mentioned last night that she thinks my ADD is getting worse. This is a good example of getting distracted by the shiny. I worried for a minute after she said it and then decided it's fine. I yam who I yam. ::sheepish::

1. Honestly? Feeling rather meh. I do not expect to always feel happy-snappy. I do prefer it though. I've always known I am basically a very happy person, but most that really know me would not mistake that for any kind of weakness. I really do not suffer fools willingly. I do suffer remorse from time to time though and then I say, "Blow me." No I don't, but you know what I mean.
2. Supplements. I am losing my patience with myself. I need to take those supplements. Okay.

Party on my sugarless babies. Momma Deborah is swimming with the sharks of desire and doing okay. Still struggling with what 20 percent really looks like.

Smooches.

Binders Full of Women

Are you in that binder?

The comment has gone crazy. I believe this comment points to a bigger issue. Issues for women. I need to think about this for a minute.

Watch out for women. We are making the difference. We always have. Whether you live in the suburbs or you live in the city or you live in a rural setting.



Listen to what we do.

The Gigi Movement

Last night Pup and I were exploring a part of our TiVo services we hadn't explored before and stumbled on a section with movie genres. One was adult.

"Aaaah! Let's read the titles," I exclaimed!

Pup meandered in there like he'd never read the title of an adult movie before. Innocence all over his face. And mine for that matter.

Yes, we've watched our fair share of porn. Don't judge. It relaxes me sometimes. That's as far as I'll tell. Ahem.

But we really did want to read the titles because they are hilarious.

Like . . .
China-Doll Syndrome

and . . .
Give Mama a Bone

and . . .
Do My Wife! Please!

and finally . . .
Cougars Pounce on Boy-Cubs.

Several of the titles had Cougar in the name.

Cougar.

As a woman of a certain age and a woman who was dating while a grown-ass woman, I've been aware of this description of older women. Most of the guys I dated before meeting Pup, and Pup for that matter, were younger than me. Some quite a bit younger than me.

It wasn't done intentionally. I did date a few men my age or even a bit older, but most of those guys, other than the oft-mentioned Harry, gave guys my age a really bad name. They wanted to spend a lot of time crabbing about their exes, crabbing about their kids, crabbing about all of their ailments. Save me, I thought at the time.

So I dated younger guys. Especially when I first became single and wasn't so much interested in dating as I was interested in spending some 'quality' time. Again, that's as far as I'll share.

And the term Cougar would come up now and then.

When I first heard that phrase it made me giggle and go 'rarw'. Yeah, I may have done that.

But then I realized it wasn't such a flattering definition of the older woman/younger man dynamic. The Cougar-woman became known as an animal-print wearing, overly blonde (I love blondes, I don't mean blondes - I'm meaning the home-processed blondes - you all know the kind of blonde I mean), perhaps breasts that were not factory-direct, too short of skirts, hanging with their daughter and all of her daughter's friends, going to the bars with young uns, doing shots, and all kinds of unflattering shenanigans.

I wasn't engaging in that kind of behavior.

But I did date younger men. A few of my friends at work called me Cougar a couple of times. It always stuck in my mind as an 'ick'.

I don't know why we even have to characterize the older woman/younger guy thing at all. Older men with younger women don't seem to suffer in that same way.

But there is some kind of mystique with older women and younger men.

Mrs. Robinson-type mystique if you will. I mean, seriously, I had a crush on Mrs. Robinson! Look at her!

Of course I had a crush on Elaine as well.

And yes, for that matter, I had a huge crush on Benjamin.

I might need to go watch this movie. I watch it at least once a year.

But, as point-sliding as I might be getting with this post, the thing I've been thinking about since reading all those adult film titles, is this:

We need switch it up a bit. Cougar - out.

Gigi - in.

Yes, I'm picking Gigi. I love that name. It has panache, with no overt, over-sexual, or over-used history of any boy-cub abuse.

I think that will be my grandma-name.

Much Less . . .

. . . blabbering today.

Don't look so happy!

Despite the bad carb related headache earlier in the week, I'm feeling really good! I worked a lot this week so didn't get in any strength training. I will add that in next week. I don't work nearly as much.

I bet when most of you read that I'm working you think, "Big deal! I work!" Yes you do. The only difference is I work retail right now and am literally on my little hoofs the entire time I'm at work. Running here. Running there. And that's good. We even have standup desks to log pricing on incoming items. Again, this is good.

I've noticed that the primal/paleo influence is hitting main stream offices here in Minneapolis. I saw a news report showing a company that had treadmill desks and standing desks. I don't know if I could personally concentrate while walking on a treadmill, but wth. Standing is good. Good for our bones.

I'm happy with my first week progress.

I'm unhappy with a couple of other things, but like a woman customer from The Turnstyle and I were saying to each other yesterday, why be crabby? Be happy. Doesn't mean you aren't feeling the pain of what you are going through, but why be an ass about it? I have an ass, but don't care to be an ass. You all can keep your opinions to yourselves. Ha!

I am grokking on.

ignore horrible insignia - funny nevertheless when you put my face there with no uniform

Where Am I?

I'm posting a bit over on my Grok and Roll blog. Come read along if you're interested in bitching, crying, whining, grousing, kvetching, complaining, and just general thought-chaos. You know, the regular order of events.

Here is some entertainment in case you need a bit of coercion.

Me at age 18. A bitcher and moaner in the making. What a face!

Fluidity

I wish I didn't have insomnia. I had a handle on it for a minute, but it has slowly geared back up. Blah. Getting up at 2 a.m. is not fun! I did fall asleep in The Big Room (family room), but George (cute doggie) decided as long as I was up that he needed to pee. Damn you George!

I just don't know what else to try.

I am diligently drinking green tea every day. And liking it with lemon. Especially now that it's fall it is nice to have something warm to drink on a cold afternoon. 

The only good thing about being awake at 2 a.m. is I stumbled on an infomertial about the Fluidity Bar. I had forgotten about mine! I bought it a few years back and it is in the basement along with all of my other fitness equipment. I am planning on dragging it back out. They talked endlessly about developing a ballet butt. I want a ballet butt.

Enough.

It's a good time to review!

1. I found an additive for bottled water that might just help Pup and his quest to forgo pop. He is a pop nut and I've seen him glug down a liter in a few gulps. I brought home these little packets specifically made for bottled water. They even had his favorite flavor - fruit punch. Now that I know he likes them I'll get a few boxes to stash here and there. A big roadblock is lunch. He does fast food (I know!) every day and always gets a large pop with his meal. He is going to try bringing a bottle of water with the additive. Yay!
2. I don't get headaches often, but today is one of those days. Really bad. I'm dead tired at 7 o'clock. So I'm watching TiVo and giggling at bad behavior on some of my shows.
3. Supplements! I loaded up a ziploc baggie and promptly forgot about them. I am really bad bad bad about taking them. Hmm . . . I need to brainstorm a better way.
4. I nibbled all day. Peanut butter for breakfast, tomatoes and avocado for lunch along with a slice or two of cheddar cheese and liver pate, broth and some peanuts for dinner, a couple of wonderful haralson apples for snacks. Wow - looking at it written out makes me realize I am really weird.
5. I got my shoes moved in the loft.
6. Mood is in the dumper. Pup and I recently got some biz-related news that isn't good. Selfishly I see it how it affects me. As a good wife I also see how it affects Pup and I feel impotent. Makes my head ache more.

 I'm not sure why I'm sharing, or rather over-sharing, all of this. It's the head. I bet this is some kind of carb-flu. If it is, it won't take long to get over it.

Gah and grr. I hate being down for the count. Tomorrow will be better; it always is!

This graphic has NOTHING to do with this written post. Except that I don't feel good and looking at good butts in Levi jeans always makes me feel better. I can actually remember the first time I realized that I enjoyed looking at boy's asses. I was in the 8th grade, between classes, walking up the stairs behind the boy I had a huge crush on. I described the feeling to my girlfriend as liking the way his shirt tucked into his pants. I was kinda clueless at 13.

No Sugar Tonight

Do y'all remember that song? I just went way back into my vault of good memories. I think I was a wee-girl when I jumped around singing that song. Holy Hannah it was good. I always got baby-girl-boners looking at Burton Cummings. Sigh and ummm . . .

Enough.

Day #1 No Sugar or Grains

1. made it through the morning. Thank you for Stevia. It does not taste like ass as I've been told. Really. I'm not lying. Although sometimes I really crave Splenda even though it will make me grow a third breast if you believe all the hype about its evilness. EVIL SPLENDA. Even more evil than sugar.
2. I love MY scrambled eggs and spinach. I never order them when I go out though. They're always kinda rubbery. But mine are awesome. Is it okay to pat my own back? I could eat them every day. My secret ingredient? Heavy cream. Although I always say the world is a better place with heavy cream, sour cream, and cream cheese. Yes - I love fat. No - it doesn't make you fat.
3.  I am giving up grains as well as mentioned above - this may be harder than the sugar. I do love me some popcorn. Already I'm contemplating Mark Sisson's 80/20 approach. I'm sure I overestimate what 20 percent really means.   :P
4. Carbs are being limited. I don't have a number I'm aiming for, but under 50 per day is the goal. I am tracking my progress with my FitnessPal.com account. I am 'friends' with both of my daughters so we can nudge each other when we see that one of us hasn't been logging in. Although they don't really need any of what I need. If you get my ass drift.
5. I worked five hours today. I work retail and the upside of working retail is it's a physical job. 
6. No gym today. What a wussy. I am working on a doable goal for the gym. I have a tendency to be all or nothing. So let's make it reasonable. I'm thinking three times per week. And I'd like to squeeze in some yoga here at home. I'm as flexible as a coffee table. Heh!
7. I had soup and salad at home tonight. Then I had a snack attack and had a container of sugar-free pudding, Dulce Leche. Now my tummy is talking and talking. No discomfort, but super conversational. TMI much? I knew I shouldn't buy any processed junk.
8. I am finishing up the evening with lemon zinger tea and will head up to my bedroom to move stuff around. You know - shoes and stuff. I hadn't moved my shoes yet and wound up wearing sandal wedgies out on Saturday night. Everyone and their sister had on boots. I am a holdout. I am still wearing my Haviannas and plan to for as long as I can. Winter is long and dreary. I want to take a piece of summer with me.

Yay to the day one. Day one is both depressing and exciting.

Random shot of Brigitte Bardot

Polyester Makes Me Itchy

The secret to a rich life is to have more beginnings than endings.
~Dave Weinbaum

The starting point of all achievement is desire. Keep this constantly in mind. Weak desires bring weak results, just as a small amount of fire makes a small amount of heat.
~Napoleon Hill

It's never too late. Never too late to start over, never too late to be happy.
~Jane Fonda

So what do we do? Anything. Something. So long as we just don't sit there. If we screw it up, start over. Try something else. If we wait until we've satisfied all the uncertainties, it may be too late.
~Lee Iacocca

Pup and I are going on vacation in January with another couple.

For fun one night while together, the four of us decided that we should get in shape for the trip. From mine and Pup's perspective we KNOW we should get in shape for this trip. We don't want to be the fatties. We want to be the hotties. Well, maybe Pup doesn't really care about being a hotty. I would love to be a hotty.

So we decided to have a little competition. The four of us are going to see who loses the most weight and gets in the best shape. I'm not real certain how we'll discern and select the winner, but I am certain that we have decided that the loser has to wear a leisure suit on the plane to the Dominican Republic.

It will not be me!

It's fall; do you know where your abs are?

Some Days Are Just Like That

Yep.

It is Saturday! Pup and I are going to see a play tonight with some dear friends where I'm certain I will not be able to speak tomorrow because I will be laughing and talking too much tonight. Oh and, yes, there may be alcohol involved. How do I know this? Have you met me? You can't see it right now, but I'm giving you a sly smile with my eyes - you know, the smeyzs.

I'm tempted to list all the 'things' from this past week, but on reflection they may only be interesting to me. I'll refrain.

Cuz you know I am way more entertaining in my head. Just ask anyone. Wait - don't ask THAT person. They might not agree! I'm not in the mood for disagreement. That's not true. Yes it is!

See?

Some things are just best left alone.

I don't even have one phone-photo to share. I am still not in love with this Samsung Galaxy. I really am a brat. I just feel weird and awkward swyping away. I miss my thumbs. Although Lorenzo told me about an upgrade I can get on my iPad to make the keyboard behave like a huge texting surface. Love you Apple - you evil geniuses. They know what a girl wants.

So why am I yapping? I like to yap. You may have noticed.

The best thing about my yapping? Besides when I stop? . . .

I'm not going to tell you! You tell me! And be nice. Or not. I really don't care.

Smooches all of my weekend hooches. What's on your do-it list today?

Okay, I'll put this photo up of Carrie Bradshaw's closet. My dream closet. If I were closeted I'd never come out of here.

Is It a Little Hot in Here?

We mostly feel fearful because we feel powerless. We feel powerless, I contend, because of a style of thinking that splits information in two poles that makes us lose all the operative information we need to solve the problem.
~Patricia Sun

Nothing gives a fearful man more courage than another's fear.
~Umberto Eco

A timid person is frightened before a danger, a coward during the time, and a courageous person afterward.
 ~Jean Paul Richter

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've been afraid a few times in my life.

The time I was walking 6 year-old Bella to her best friend's house and two largish barking, angry dogs came running down a driveway towards us. I pushed Bella behind me and knew I'd take whatever those dogs had to give me before they'd get at Bella. Apparently my conviction changed their minds and they went back up the driveway without bothering us. Whooo ha!

Or the time I had to hang my head out of our truck while my wasband and I drove north in a snowstorm to find our Lorenzo who had flipped her car into a ditch. I couldn't breath. I just wanted her young-yet-grown body in my arms so I could feel all of her limbs and know she was okay.

Fear is weird because when you're in it you have really no control over how you'll react.

Saturday morning Pup and I (or the Griswolds as his family now refer to us) packed up The Guest House and drove it south to Iowa for a party at his sister's house.

We were looking forward to this weekend and I had convinced Pup that it would be fun to take The Guest House so we could free up the spare room for his other sister and brother-in-law to use.

We're humming along. I'm reading a pile of magazines that had been growing for a time. Nothing like four hours on the road to get you caught up on all of your magazines.

I had just reached behind my seat to pick up my iPad.

"Sheesh - this thing is really hot!" I say.

Pup nods.

A second later we're both sniffing the air. There's a burning smell coming from outside we think.

"I sure hope that's not us," Pup laughs.

He turns to look in the back. Smoke is billowing out from behind my seat.

His look of alarm makes me turn around to look. Smoke spewing out. What the hell?

I hop in the back to see. What do I think I'm going to do? I really don't know, but Pup is driving and we need to know, yes? I'm brilliant in my reasoning.

I am just getting on my hands and knees when

BAM

flames start shooting out of the spot where seconds before there had been smoke.

The crazy-ass thing about crippling fear is that it was only one half of me. The other half of me was dead-calm. I could have rational thought. I'm thinking

FIRE

SMOTHER

EXTINGUISH

I grab our heavy chenille blanket and place it over the flame, pushing it down. Meanwhile Pup is pulling off the highway. Mind you, seconds before we were hurtling along at 70 miles per or thereabouts.

I start to crawl towards the back of The Guest House where I know we have a fire extinguisher. Of course I cannot figure out how to get that thing out of its holder.

Now, I am making it sound like I'm the calm in the storm. I am not. Even though I'm reacting rationally I can feel a fear bubble in my chest. An adrenaline I've never felt before.

My mind is calm, but my lips are saying over and over and over, "Are we going to blow up? Are we going to blow up? Are we going to blow up?"

Who knows how many times I say it? A dozen? 20 times? Luckily no one is listening.

Pup has gotten onto the side of the road and brakes. I fly against the back door, bumping my head and sliding on my knees.

He then grabs a jug of water we have in the galley and pours it over the smoking hole.

Meanwhile I get the back door open and hesitate to jump out - it's a longish way to the pavement.

Pup says emphatically, "Get out." I do. He does.

We are standing away from The Guest House. Listening to everything creaking and cooling.

My chest is still pounding. I am bent over trying to get my breath.

Pup is doing the same.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of the story is good. We are alive. And nothing blew up.  :)

Pup quickly figures out it is the catalytic converter that blew its top and started the nearly 25 year-old wood under The Guest House on fire.

It doesn't look like much, but when flames were shooting out it was something!

It looks innocent doesn't it?

We made it there and we made it back.

We'll get The Guest House fixed and we'll be back on the road in no time I'm certain.

On the way back to Minnesota that thing blew a couple of times more, but Pup now knew exactly what it was and could remedy the situation. My reactions were not so remedial. Let's just say that crying and irrational fear took over both times.

Yay! We're alive! Nay! Hole in floor of The Guest House!

Smooches to all of you.

Hot Men Friday

Jeff Hephner

I had never heard of this guy before I started watching Kelsey Grammer's Boss.  If you like sex, power, bad behavior, and a gorgeous cast check this show out.

This guy plays a politician. He is so naughty. He is fun watching being naughty. Steamy! And naughty. Did I say he was naughty? Heh!

I love it when baby-faced guys try to look all serious and gruff. Grrrr!

It's a good show though if you like that kind of stuff. Which I apparently do. Reinforcing my image as deep-as-a-puddle.

And this girl is fun to watch as well. I want my new nickname to be Kitty!

I have the glasses, but that's about it.