Overheard

Not my Jeep, but this made me laugh.

Again, by me and not a random (as my daughter used to call peripheral types) . . .

Picture Pup. Picture Pup out plowing with my Jeep Wrangler. Plowing snow.

Backstory - the plow used to be on our Liberty, but we bought a new SUV, a Honda Pilot, and the plow wouldn't fit so now it's on my Ruby. Imagine my whining and complaining. Oh yes, there you are.

The Wrangler is much lighter than the Liberty was so Pup is on a bit of a learning curve with this setup. So there he is, out plowing all our neighbors like he wants to do.

He pushes a large chunk to the side on the street. He gets stuck. He gets stuck in not much snow. He can't get out.

He comes in. Four letter words flying. Calling my beloved Ruby names! Heh!

I go out. Discover that Pup doesn't know anything about Wranglers. I quickly put it in low 4-wheel drive. (He's a BMW guy, that's okay he doesn't know about this crap.)

So, while we're out there. Trying to dig out Ruby. Trying to rock her out of the snowbank a Concerned Citizen pulls up.

"Oh! Aaaaahahaha! You have a Jeep with a plow and you're stuck??" He's laughing like a hyena.

"Really?" I say. "That's your helpful advice to me?" I slug at him with my voice. "WE'RE STUCK! Wranglers are light! They get stuck!"

He looks at me with new eyes. The kind of eyes that might be thinking, she may just be a tad cranky.

Oh ya think?

"So, do you have a phone?" he asks. This guy is helpful to the end.

I sigh. I say, "We live right here. Thanks for your concern."

Meanwhile, our friendly drug-dealing neighbors come out on their front step for a smoke (seriously, they have been raided by our bumbling police with battering rams - it was biz as usual a few hours later). They observe the fray. Not to lend their Jack Sprat-type bodies (one a chubby and one very thin) to helping or pushing.

Pup pushes again. I rock it successfully out of the snow bank.

Oh yes, I might be getting a little crabby! lolol

People are so nice. :/

I reach up to my head to feel for horns. I am feeling devilish and I am thinking I should take pity on anyone in my line of sight. Or not.

How you doin'?

I Win!

My weather bug right now . . .

Yup . . .

Kinda windy too. That's the part I hate the most. Here's the thing I always say though; it will be the brightest sun ever. Crisp (understatement!) and bright!

So take that!

:)

Sears 1934

I want that jumpsuit on the right. The green corduroy one.

What would Tim say?

I'll Have a Beer Dear

We had a little getaway to Fort Myers, Florida. I had never been to Florida. That's kinda weird yes? We had a sweet little suite right on the beach with a bedroom door which was great for insomnia nights. I just shut the door and Pup could sleep and I could wander around to the deck, sit with the door open, read, and listen to the ocean. The best!

I don't know about other parts of Florida, but Fort Myers is eclectic, energetic, relaxed. My brother-in-law calls it a kinda bikerish crowd. I kinda found it alternative. For me meaning every kind of person. The people working there seemed the kind of people that had decided the rat race not worth competing in and they had found a haven serving beers or running hotels.

A life on the beach doesn't look so bad to me!

Sand like powdered sugar. Lots of walking. Lots of drinking!

And hanging with Pup's sister and her husband was fun! They are a golden couple - kinda like looking into the sun I always say. And motivational. You haven't lived until you've had your photo taken with a woman near your age that is wearing a size 2-4 bikini and looking like her 28 year-old daughter. Eye opening!

Meanwhile back in Minnesota this was going on:

Baby KD had his first stroller ride. His momma said this photo was taken while she said his name. He's sound asleep, but while hearing his momma's voice smiled this angelic smile. Oh I can hardly stop my heart from bursting looking at him.

Squat Till You Drop

Okay . . .

My friend tPretty, the Empress of Exercise, has made herself available to me for encouragement, snack-blocking, and health tips.

One of her tips is to get up from your desk from time to time and stretch, walk around, or do squats.

Yesterday I had made a mental note to get up and move about every half hour. Of course my day didn't quite go the way I wanted it to (imagine a bat in the house being chased by a crazed cat - yours truly hiding in the bathroom - that kind of day), but when I DID finally get to the office I hunkered down on a project.

I did get up and about more than normal, but then at one point realized I had been sitting working for over an hour or so.

I hopped up to do some squats.

Now, mind you, I have watched many a squat. The right way to do a squat. I've watched my sister-in-law get up from the floor holding a chunky baby without using her hands. Oh yes she did. Gah.

My thighs aren't that talented.

I go down.

I come up.

I go down.

I come up.

I go down.

I sorta come up.

I sorta go down.

I'm done.

Yep.

Strength comes with practice.

Practical Application 1

The Night Before

I took a detox bath.

Epsom salts, baking soda, candles, hot water, me.

I know that detoxing can help my immune system and encourage my body to flush out all that is bad - all the toxins I have taken in. We don't have to talk about what type of toxins they were. Do we? blinkblinkblink . . . . Do I appear charming? No? Rats! This is why I need detoxing!

I wash my face and fill the tub at the same time. Dumping in some marvelous-smelling Epsom salts I've had in a lovely glass bin waiting. I dump in some baking soda to alkalize the bath water as well. As the tub fills and steam begins to rise I can smell the salts. Mmmm! I'm loving that!

I hop in and start screeching. It's been a while since I've used the spa tub in our bathroom and filling it has loosened some gunk that has been hiding in the jets. Disgusting! I hop back out and scoop out all that blech and dreck. Hop back in.

I've lit two candles. I've forgotten to turn out the bathroom lights.

Grr

I press down on the spa button to turn on the jets. Nothing. I press again. Nothing.

I call for Pup.

"It smells so good in here! Do you want me to turn out the lights?"

He does. It's nearly pitch black. My two little candles aren't cutting it.

"I can't get the tub to turn on." I show him how I'm pushing the button. He reaches his huge thumb in there and ON goes the tub.

I lay back in the tub. Trying not to think about what else could be floating around in there with me. I don't mean Pup.

I'm to relax for 20 minutes. I look at the clock.

It's been three minutes. Three minutes!

I close my eyes. The lights are damn bright, I think.

I really need to get in here with some Scrubbing Bubbles, I think.

I look at the clock again.

It's been seven minutes.

I shut off my damn mind, lay back again, ignore the bright lights, and make it 15 minutes.

And I have to call Pup to turn off the damn tub.

DETOXED!

~~~~~~~

The Next Morning

I slept hard. It felt hard. My eyes opened up at 7:00 a.m. That's crazy! So late! How do you people get hours of goofing around on the internet completed when you get up so late? I'm winking and nodding.

I slept so hard that I stumbled around for a while getting my bearings. Weaving and bobbing like I was still drunk after a fun night. You know those nights. Don't pretend you don't!

I liked my detox bath. I feel free of chemicals.

Okay - I really don't, but I am suspending belief and imagining those nasty toxins running away from me. With their bags packed. Getting on the train to Toxinville.

Conclusion

I'd do it again. More candles, clean jets, open mind.

Happy People

Here I am!
Signed, sealed, delivered,
I'm yours!
~Stevie Wonder

Ha!

Are y'all thinking about the past year? Thinking about what the coming year could mean? Changes yes?

I read an article a few minutes ago (and promptly Pinterested it -yeah, I said it!) about the things that happy people do differently. One of the things was be in the moment.

It sounds so simple. Aren't we all in that moment? I mean, I'm there aren't I? How could I not be in the moment? After the moments, after things are quiet and I'm left to my thoughts I realize many times that I was forward-thinking. "Oh! I never lit the candles!" "Oh! If I were a size or so smaller I could have worn that cute outfit!" "Oh! What is the next hilarious thing I want to say?"

Yesterday I watched my little tater-tot while his parents attended a memorial service for Bella's grandma. I know I could have gone - that great woman had been my mother-in-law for 23 years - but for some reason I did not feel right about it. There were a few logistic reasons I couldn't go, but nothing that I couldn't have figured out. But when Bella asked if I would watch baby KD while they attended the service, I jumped at the chance. Even though she said the other Granny could watch him if I wanted to attend the service.

I said, "No, please, I'll watch the sweet baby."

So KD and I hung out for four hours or so. And I practiced being in the moment. Because everything stops when you look at your first grandchild's face. Everything! It's fantastic. He and I talked about his Great-Grandmomma and how perfect it had been that he got to meet her and how she loved him and was happy for his parents. How blessed he is to have so many people love him.

He listened to every silly thing I said to him. He's a rapt participant right now. He fills me with tears and joy.

Bella said her dad wrote something that she read for him. He talked about the bond between mother and child. How he saw it when he and I had children and now he's seeing it with his own Bella. And how his momma had that bond with her children.

I will think about momma-Sylvia and how she loved her children and how she loved her grandchildren and how she loved her great-grandchildren. It's New Year's Eve and all things are there for us.

Giving Those Loving Gestures

Getting the trees!

Little K (the Baby-Doll) is our beyond-blessing for the year. The year has been full of blessings and I sometimes can't believe how blessed we are. Then I think how we might just deserve our blessings. And why not?

I was at happy hour the other day and I was speaking to a friend. She mentioned something I had done for Pup when she was with us. It was something I did during dinner to make his experience better. Pup is a picky eater and sometimes I ignore his wants, sometimes I cater to his wants, and sometimes I help. I can't worry about him and what he will or won't eat all the time because his eating limits do make me insane, but I love him.

She said she would have wanted to get angry or smack him or get disgusted. I could tell that she thought my helping him in that moment was something she would never do. While she was telling me this I felt a flash of shame. Was what I had done a weakness on my part? Did it make Pup look weak? Was it less than perfect (something I apparently worry about all the time)?

It didn't hit me until days later that what I had done was a loving gesture. That's all. Just a simple, loving gesture. Done in the moment. Only because I love him. It was a good thing. Nothing for me to think twice about. 

Loving gestures. I want to give more of them. To those I love. Not worry how it makes me look. If loving someone and wanting to make something more comfortable in a moment is weak, then I'm wanting to be the weakest!

I see that today. I wish I had seen it then and always.

I will be watching for opportunities to give loving gestures. And why not? It takes nothing away from me and might make me happier.

Merry Christmas my hooches! Are you ready for your own loving gestures?

Minnesota Nice

This the view out of my office window.

It was about 10 below or some horrible temperature. But the sun was shining, the winds were calm, there was fresh snow all about, I was finally wearing my wool, my boots, my grandpa socks, my scarf, and lovely gloves. And putting my beloved Ruby (my Jeep Wrangler) in 4-wheel drive so I stick better on the roads.

4-wheel drive does not make you invincible nor does it keep you from sliding on ice, but you do stick just a bit more in places where you need to stick. Lovely!

It is a gorgeous time of year!

Get happy and invite me to watch!

Dream a Little Dream

you're no good

I had the craziest dream last night. I woke after/during it and thought, "This one is actually worth telling!" But it disappeared this morning. Only the wisp of crazy remains in my memory. Which is good because having to listen to someone else's dream is second only to looking at someone else's vacation photos. Oye to the vey! I like to have a stick in my handbag just for poking out my eyes on such occasions. I have had to hand my sticks to those I have inflicted with my vacation shots. That's the kind of woman I am!

This just reminded me of when I was pregnant with my dear Bella. I had made friends with a neighbor in our fairly isolated rural neighborhood. She was a cousin-in-law of one of our dear friends and while she was not my normal girl, she turned out to be a very good friend at a time I needed another mother to help me along my brand new journey of becoming a momma.

One evening she and he husband invited us over for dinner on a Saturday evening. She had recently had a baby and I was about seven months or so along in my first pregnancy.

After dinner the guys were enjoying an after dinner beer while she dragged out one of those slide projectors people used to have with the circle of photos. She was a talker and I confess to only listening to her half the time on occasion so I wasn't entirely certain what we were going to be looking at.

Suddenly her peek-at-chu came peeking out from the screen. Along with her baby's head poking out of that peek-at-chu. My poor wasband nearly came undone. What the hell? I could hear his unspoken cries. As for me, a very pregnant first timer, it was rather horrifying. My own little baby started doing summersaults in utero in response to my fight or flight adrenalin pouring out.

Along with the slides was a running dialog of the whys, hows, whens and every other unimaginable thing you do not want to know.

This experience scared me so I was seriously dreading when my own babe would pop out into the world. My experience was just fine, but that should have been a lesson to me to not overshare birth experiences. But women can't help themselves. It's a big thing we can do and the stories need to be told.

But maybe not shown.

A Bit of Self-Indulgence

Because . . . because . . . well, because!

I'm trying really hard hooches. So hard to not be annoying. Y'all know that is nigh-on to impossible. In fact, it is absolutely impossible.

So, with that known, please enjoy the adorableness that is a newborn.



Pup and I got to watch Baby Boy-Doll last night while The Little Family went to a movie and dinner. I don't think the two of them had been out of the house except for appointments and Thanksgiving since the Tater-Tot's arrival.

We sat on the couch with him either holding him or sandwiching him between us on the couch. It was heavenly.

And he went through nearly all the outfits his momma packed, all the receiving blankets, and all the bottles. Burping, pooping, peeing, and just generally being adorable.

You can see a little bit how adorable his smiles are going to be when they come. I love this newborn stage.

The Masher

I love this. Look at the way she picks up her britches.

Be Thankful, Even for the Mess

Thanksgiving came and went. Pup and I watched movies yesterday nearly non-stop. Some of the mess from the previous days activities still hanging around in The Big Room. It really looked so lovely at the beginning of the day Thursday.

But I didn't take any photos.

"Momma! You haven't taken any photos today." My Bella said at the end of the day.

I was in the kitchen mostly. In the kitchen doing a bit of damage control. My friend AB was helping me thank god and thank you AB. The aftermath of a big meal is sometimes horrendous! I walk in there and think, "F- it. I'm moving." Mostly because I just don't know where to start.

But you do. Start that is. And it gets cleaned up. I'm kinda getting why my own momma was tiring of having holidays after a while. So much work. And it feels, just a little bit, like no one cares.

It made me cranky. Not thankful. Kinda bitchy. "Vicious!" Pup always says. He loves a vicious-woman he says. I know he doesn't really think I'm vicious. But I am cranky.

So, pour me a drink and I'll clean the damn kitchen. Bah!

:)

This little dude was there making everything worth it.

Yes, he really is that beautiful.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pup and I are starting to poke around for something on a lake or river. Just a little chunk of something. For later. For now. No, despite my exclamation up there ^ we are not moving. I just like to kvetch.

Because I have to embrace all that I am. And right now I'm whining.

I'm also tired of the kinda Facebook life everyone is leading. You know what I mean; either everyone is perfect and happy and never needing to clean their house or a shower or they're politicking, passive-agressiving (which I am the queen of), leaving cryptic "words of wisdom" all over the f-ing place, or simply saying stupid stuff. Oh, I do it too! Don't let me get away with pretending I don't! That place is kinda a swamp. The smart ones lurk and sit down.

I'm not really this vicious in real life. I just like to play one on the internet.

indulging my vintage in my office

I do think I worry too much about what is right and what is thought. Yesterday I was poking around at one of my favorite poke-around shops and I was feeling pressured by a few people behind me that were wanting to be standing where I was standing. Sometimes, most times, I might move to let them in. Yesterday I widened my stance, shot one of them a small smile, and finished my browsing in the section I was in.

I felt amazing. Not aggressive. Not bitchy. I just felt empowered for a minute. There are ways to be effective without being bitchy Deborah.

Whooooo ya!

It's day three of the long weekend. What are you doing today?

Hell the Hello!

Yesterday was Pup's birthday.

We celebrated with Lorenzo and RM at one of Pup's favorite places. Can we all guess what kind of meat was involved? Oh yes, steak!

The most fun for me is just hanging out with my kids. I'm really turning into such a water-logged kind of woman. Disgusting!  :)

Love is a weird thing.

It hits me at times when I'm not expecting it. And it would be hard to explain to young 20-somethings. They just don't know. That's okay, I once didn't know. I thought I did, but I didn't.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here's what I'm thinking about lately. Lara Antipova. I always wanted to look like Lara Antipova. Her long skirts, cozy sweaters, fur, fantastic face, and tragic loving.

I hear snow is coming. I'll have to (finally) put away my flats and pull on those boots. I think I'm the only one in Minnesota who hasn't worn boots yet this year. I just couldn't do it.

But it will be fun once it does start!

Get out there and squeeze the water from those damn logs my peeps.

Love, Love, Love

I know everyone thinks their grandchildren are the cutest.

I know everyone thinks their grandchildren are the smartest.

I know everyone thinks these things.

The difference with me is that it is true.

:)

What? you say?  I'm pretentious you say? Well, yes I am, but no big surprise there hmm?

All I have to say to any of this is look at this face and tell me I'm wrong.

Boy Baby-Doll
8 lbs 10 oz
21 3/4 inches

BTW - aren't those the cutest little man-boobs you've ever seen? I kiss his head a thousand times.

His momma is a Warrior Princess and his daddy is a dad extraordinaire.

You Belong to Me

We are on high alert right now waiting for our Baby-Doll, grandchild. It could be any minute.

ANY MINUTE

The thought that I could be singing like this with our new little Tater Tot soon is overwhelming. Yeah I know I don't play the ukulele, but is that important? Hmm?  ;)

Meanwhile, enjoy this. It's just about the cutest thing I've seen in weeks.

@the Movies - Have You Been Bad?

Pup and I like going to the movies. So we see lots of them! I've always been a nut for movies, once in high school my girlfriends and I saw four movies in one day. We were downtown St. Paul and just kept going from theatre to theatre.

Also in high school I would ride the bus miles and miles to see showings of hard to find movies (no VCRs peeps!) like Gone with the Wind and anything with The Marx Brothers.

It started for me when my parents got a color TV and put the family b&w in my bedroom. I would stay up late with the sound turned totally down and watch old films. Fell in love with Jimmy Stewart, Kathryn Hepburn, Marilyn Monroe, Cary Grant, etc.

When I was married to Wasband and the family was young, Saturday night was movie night. We'd make homemade popcorn with butter and watch two films. One for the kids and one for us. As the kids got older they either watched both or were not there at all. When they were wee tiny things they only watched the first one.

My first job was in a movie theatre and it was one of Pup's first jobs as well. He managed one of the large city theaters.

So, most weekends we are either watching something here at the Chez Emerson or going out to the movies.

Last evening we went to one of those renovated theaters. The trend around these parts is to pull out many of the seats, replace them with loungers (yes! with reclining footrests!) and they have assigned seating. Which is heavenly.

One of our favorite places has VIP seating where you are not only in in your private little two-some chairs with tables flanking you, but you can bring a cocktail in with you. Love!

Last night we saw The Counselor.

Michael Fassbender, Penélope Cruz, Cameron Diaz, Javier Bardem, Brad Pitt.

IMBD says: A lawyer finds himself in over his head when he gets involved in drug trafficking.

Director: Ridley Scott

Writer: Cormac McCarthy

I always love drug-infused movies. I don't know why. It's a sick fascination? Maybe. Or it's enthralling to see a world I'll never be a part of. Thank you whoever-is-in-charge of such things!

The surprise in this movie is Cameron Diaz. She plays a villainous part to perfection. She is beautiful, ugly, brilliant, frightening. When she is on screen you want her to stay there.

I got lost a few times in the plot. That's why I love the after-movie-discussions. They always fill in the plot holes for me. And I fill in a few for whoever I'm with.

There is blood and violence. Sexual content, but no nudity. Pup was bummed as he always is when there are no breasts to see!

Javier Bardem is great as well!

I say worth a seat in the theatre.

Overheard

I am always lookin for sumthin. 

We are out with Momma Betty. We are in a bar/grill type place. Sitting in a booth. There is a a threesome (ha) of women sitting behind us.

One of the women is talking. I'm not wholly aware of her at first. Then after a few minutes (we were being kinda quiet in our booth) I can't not be aware of her.

She is talking talking talking. About nothing nothing nothing.

I can't stop listening. I listen to her talk about mayonnaise. How she hates mayonnaise. How the restaurant put mayonnaise on her sandwich. "Why would they put mayonnaise on this sandwich?"

I want to hit her. I want to take her sandwich and shove it deep into her mouth, maybe down her throat.

I wonder to myself why she makes me so mad. Why is her being over the top inane bothering me?

Pup and I are in the car today. Talking about people bugging us. I say, "It bothered me that that woman bothered me. What if I'm that woman at times? What if someone wants to chew off their arm to get away from my inaneness? What if I'm that woman?"

We laugh. We laugh at each other. Because we know that sometimes, yes sometimes, all of us are that woman. We dwell on something inane. We tell a story maybe once or twice too often.

Remember that quote? “No matter how good she looks - no matter how sweet she talks - somebody, somewhere is sick and tired of putting up with her shit.” We are all that woman at one time or another.

A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed. 
~Anonymous

For No Apparent Reason

Let's have a Marilyn day.

Couldn't you just swoon looking at this? Lovely.

Now, That's a Good Body

I've been blessed with a good body.

No, not that way you schnook. (Excuse the Yiddish. I'm obsessed.)

I mean that my body is healthy, strong, in a certain light appealing, and nicely reactive. It works mostly how I need it to work and if it doesn't work a certain way it responds rather quickly to learning something new.

Kinda like my brain.

So, with this blessing comes accountability. Meaning, if it isn't behaving the way I need it to; who can I point at? Why, that would be me!

Yep and yes. Done and done. Had to be said. For me, the visual word is so much better than a thought. So here's my visual Mr. DeMille! (cue vague movie-reference). Bloop!

~~~~~~~~

Sidenote Thought - Going to the Movies

Pup, Shelley-Belly, and I went to see Gravity.

I might be the ONLY person on the planet (yuck yuck yuck) that didn't like this movie. For whatever reason, I was unable to suspend belief. I have a feeling it was my mood, but maybe a flaw in me. Who knows. I HATED it. Pup and SB liked it! I do love Sandra Bullock and George makes me laugh. But it was a nogo that evening.

::sad face::

In a bizarre, validating kind of way, it made me feel good to hate this movie. I usually love every movie I see and feel very pollyannaish in that.

Or I'm a bitch and going to fry in hell.

You pick!

Sunday Funday!