Looking for Help in All the Right Places

I am in a funk.

I want to post details. I better not post details. Believe me when I say the details are not interesting.

But the funk it leaves behind is. Interesting. Or at the very least, a tool. Learning tool.

I'm kinda puzzling through it this early morning right along with you dear grokker. Or dear mocker. ;)

So, I am pushing through. I think I am? I am! The sugar of yesterday becomes the resolve of today?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was doing some reading this morning about cravings and resolve and depression and how biology affects these seemingly willpower-based behaviors. Kinda amazing how damaged internal systems will spiral our bodies into an even more damaged state. I can see that these things are not a simple fix.

Leptin resistance and adrenal compromise seem to be key in all of this. My insomnia and cravings seem to be only symptoms of a bigger problem. I have flirted with all of this in the past, but have not taken most of it seriously enough. I think it may be serious. You'd think just the insomnia would be incentive enough!

I am researching a local resource to help me as wading through all of this information is a bit overwhelming!

I am looking for the start. It isn't as easy as you'd think.

This plant seems representative in a way today. This is my cat's contribution to the decor. He seems to need some greens!

Whoops!

A week! A whole week!

Busy. Just like everyone else. Busy, and frankly, not good. Not a good week. No specific bitching, but let's just say, not good.

Kinda feeling like I was feeling last year.

Well, maybe not this bad. Or yes, this bad.

:)

Just reading that t-shirt design is making me laugh, so it can't be all that bad! I never did order one. I think I should rethink that decision.

Good thing I'm a laugher. Is laugher a word? I don't think so. Regardless, that is what I am. Even in the state I'm in I was laughing quite a bit at The Turnstyle yesterday. It could have simply been hysteria. I'll go with entertained. If you can't be entertained, then you may as well bench yourself.

Okay - this post is self-indulgent. I like it! I feel better!

What is your challenge from the week? What got you out or in a stuck place. I'd love to hear.

Smooches all of my lovely and loved peeps.

Morning Joe

I like to watch Morning Joe on MSNBC. A balanced viewpoint. Left and right. I like to see what Mika is wearing (yes, shallow) and actually I like to see what Joe is wearing as well.

And I like to listen to them.

This morning I was up so early they weren't even on yet! But now that they are, this morning they are broadcasting from a pub somewhere. The pub looks very contemporary. I want to have breakfast there with the chic-looking crowd.

And I am drinking my morning joe. Can't start my morning without my morning joe.

And I want to talk about bulletproof coffee. Lots of buzz in the paleo/primal community about this way to help with intermittent fasting. I personally love to intermittent fast a bit during the week. I've found that since I've been in my 50s it's difficult to maintain a certain weight unless I eat very low calories. I know many believe that's not a good thing, but there is a separate thought that eating lower calories is beneficial for our longevity.

I do it to maintain and lose weight. And it makes me feel pretty darn good.

When behaving (which I am) I like to eat one main meal during my day. I start with my beloved coffee. I like to have that first large mug with a bit of heavy cream and stevia. Mmmm! Some good fat, the caffeine I love, and a bit of natural sweetness.

Then I decide which meal I am eating that day. Totally depends on what I am doing.

For instance, today I am meeting an old co-worker for lunch (Cute-Girl-Training-Me from when I worked at The Tumbler) so lunch is my main meal. Then I'm heading to the gym and later in the afternoon I am volunteering from 6:30 to 9:30. No supper.

So, my second cup of coffee will most likely be bulletproof.

Recipe for Bulletproof Coffee

place in a blender (I use my magic bullet):
fresh brewed coffee
2-3 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 tablespoon MCT oil for max energy, weight loss and brain function (optional if you have none, but from what I read this is good for boosting metabolism)
I like to add a generous dusting of cinnamon cuz I love it
blend

It turns into a frothy, creamy, hot, and surprisingly delicious and satisfying drink. When I first read about this I nearly gagged thinking about butter in my coffee. I tried it and now I'm a convert.

The point of the bulletproof recipe is satiety. The fat from the butter and MCT oil is satisfying and will stave off rumbly tummies for quite a long while. Hours if you can believe. And it contains no carbohydrates. And because I’m having it for breakfast, I am setting my body to burn fat for energy all day long.

I can totally see how this wouldn't be for everyone. But if you are intrigued, give it a whirl. Literally!

Bad Romance

Actually, bad headache. Bad romance just sounded better didn't it? I just - this minute - watched the video. This song was way better in my memory. That's how some things are! So I won't be linking it. Lucky you!

This was a BAD weekend. The whole thing. It's done now and yay! I have today off and maybe I can play catchup for a bit.

I don't get headaches as a rule. Mostly this is true.

One day a few months ago I had an episode of flashing lights in my eyes. Pup gets these frequently and they always lead to a migraine for him. So when I had this happen I braced myself. But I only had the flashing lights. Which is VERY disorienting.

Last week while working with Bianca Jagger (Alli-Baby's daughter) right when I was checking in for my shift I got the flashing lights. It starts out with a visual tic - the one where if you stare at a graphic and then look away it looks like you are still seeing the graphic. I'm not certain if I'm describing it clearly, but I bet we've all had that experience.

This time it looked like this:

So creepy! It lasted about 30 minutes and left my head feeling like I had HAD a headache, but I hadn't.

Friday night - no sleep. None! Flashing lights that turned into a killer headache. An all day headache. I had a full day planned. Had to cancel all of it. Sad!

Yesterday - worked. Just a dull pounding where the headache had been. Totally doable.

Slept finally - woke with totally different type of headache.

Holy Hannah! Look at all the headache bitching I just did. I am wondering if it's just adjusting to the new everything with fall hitting and the weather being different and simply being more sensitive to all of these things. This may be the thing I hate the most about getting older. Developing all of these sensitivities that I was just oblivious to in the past or I am turning into a wussy. Feel free to substitute a letter if you will. Heh!

So - bad romance with my head.

I'm drinking my coffee and planning my attack for today.

Think about me!

~~~~~~~

Edit: I was just scrolling through a couple of past posts and saw that I did have a headache earlier in the week. I am stuffing them down! I swear I do not get these often. 

Quote

I do wish I had taken my own advice and not posted anything political. Too polarizing! And it's a losers game.

Anyone need an antacid after eating that piece of annoying pie?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
~Theodore Roosevelt

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
~Groucho Marx

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
~George Burns

Government exists to protect us from each other. Where government has gone beyond its limits is in deciding to protect us from ourselves.
~Ronald Reagan

Show me a young Conservative and I'll show you someone with no heart. Show me an old Liberal and I'll show you someone with no brains.
~Winston Churchill

A change is brought about because ordinary people do extraordinary things.
~Barack Obama

You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn't that long ago that we were swept away by the Macarena.
~Jon Stewart

The rights of every man are diminished when the rights of one man are threatened.
~John F. Kennedy

When in Rome

I've never been to Rome. Have you? It is definitely on my list. The whole of Europe is on my list. Especially Italy. Or London. I can't decide which I'd want to see first. I mean southern Italy I'm thinking. Apparently I just want me some pasta.

And that's only because I am not eating pasta.

What I am eating a lot of right now is Chipotle. I love that restaurant. Technically it is fast food, but the company model is they buy local when possible and definitely organic and use meats that are hormone-free. And you can customize your bowl. And it's delicious.

Bella and I volunteered last night and I bribed her to go with me to Chipotle beforehand. We were even late because of it. I had worked that day and hadn't really eaten anything.

The guys working the food were very generous with the vegis. And the chicken. And the guac. Mmmmm. Heaven for me. And a great choice when you're on the run. I am forswearing any other fast food. I don't really like fast food to be honest. Culvers has good soup from time to time. Pup loves to stop there after we've been to the gym so I usually get soup, tea, and maybe I'll eat one of his real chicken strips. Not horrible.

But the rest of those places - nope.

I read lots of my nutrition blogs and they have fabulous recipes. I have binders full of recipes (sorry - cannot get that off of my mind) and I do like to pull those binders out and cook on occasion, but the truth is I don't cook often. I know I've mentioned that Pup is not a foodie. In fact he's the opposite of a foodie. I do get bored with the limited options that he will eat and the real fact is I am not home much in the evening so not much cooking gets done here at Chez Emerson.

So I am figuring out how to eat out. I've talked about it before I do believe. It's hard to not overeat when you go out. So, I hit Chipotle a couple of times this week, went out with Pup and chose soup, and had breakfast out a time or two. Breakfast out is easy. But, still figuring the rest of it out.

So . . .

1. The week went lickity-split. My daily list didn't get much of the original items checked off, but a few were added and checked off. It's a wash. Do you guys ever add something to your list just so you can cross it off? I'm a nut. Progression is my thing.
2. A few times this week I started the day with bulletproof coffee. I'll post a recipe and links tomorrow.

Ooop, that's not bulletproof coffee, that's Andy Cohen. I love how he dresses and was making note of how he combines color and plaid often. I swoon for his fashion sense. Bella mentioned last night that she thinks my ADD is getting worse. This is a good example of getting distracted by the shiny. I worried for a minute after she said it and then decided it's fine. I yam who I yam. ::sheepish::

1. Honestly? Feeling rather meh. I do not expect to always feel happy-snappy. I do prefer it though. I've always known I am basically a very happy person, but most that really know me would not mistake that for any kind of weakness. I really do not suffer fools willingly. I do suffer remorse from time to time though and then I say, "Blow me." No I don't, but you know what I mean.
2. Supplements. I am losing my patience with myself. I need to take those supplements. Okay.

Party on my sugarless babies. Momma Deborah is swimming with the sharks of desire and doing okay. Still struggling with what 20 percent really looks like.

Smooches.

Binders Full of Women

Are you in that binder?

The comment has gone crazy. I believe this comment points to a bigger issue. Issues for women. I need to think about this for a minute.

Watch out for women. We are making the difference. We always have. Whether you live in the suburbs or you live in the city or you live in a rural setting.



Listen to what we do.

The Gigi Movement

Last night Pup and I were exploring a part of our TiVo services we hadn't explored before and stumbled on a section with movie genres. One was adult.

"Aaaah! Let's read the titles," I exclaimed!

Pup meandered in there like he'd never read the title of an adult movie before. Innocence all over his face. And mine for that matter.

Yes, we've watched our fair share of porn. Don't judge. It relaxes me sometimes. That's as far as I'll tell. Ahem.

But we really did want to read the titles because they are hilarious.

Like . . .
China-Doll Syndrome

and . . .
Give Mama a Bone

and . . .
Do My Wife! Please!

and finally . . .
Cougars Pounce on Boy-Cubs.

Several of the titles had Cougar in the name.

Cougar.

As a woman of a certain age and a woman who was dating while a grown-ass woman, I've been aware of this description of older women. Most of the guys I dated before meeting Pup, and Pup for that matter, were younger than me. Some quite a bit younger than me.

It wasn't done intentionally. I did date a few men my age or even a bit older, but most of those guys, other than the oft-mentioned Harry, gave guys my age a really bad name. They wanted to spend a lot of time crabbing about their exes, crabbing about their kids, crabbing about all of their ailments. Save me, I thought at the time.

So I dated younger guys. Especially when I first became single and wasn't so much interested in dating as I was interested in spending some 'quality' time. Again, that's as far as I'll share.

And the term Cougar would come up now and then.

When I first heard that phrase it made me giggle and go 'rarw'. Yeah, I may have done that.

But then I realized it wasn't such a flattering definition of the older woman/younger man dynamic. The Cougar-woman became known as an animal-print wearing, overly blonde (I love blondes, I don't mean blondes - I'm meaning the home-processed blondes - you all know the kind of blonde I mean), perhaps breasts that were not factory-direct, too short of skirts, hanging with their daughter and all of her daughter's friends, going to the bars with young uns, doing shots, and all kinds of unflattering shenanigans.

I wasn't engaging in that kind of behavior.

But I did date younger men. A few of my friends at work called me Cougar a couple of times. It always stuck in my mind as an 'ick'.

I don't know why we even have to characterize the older woman/younger guy thing at all. Older men with younger women don't seem to suffer in that same way.

But there is some kind of mystique with older women and younger men.

Mrs. Robinson-type mystique if you will. I mean, seriously, I had a crush on Mrs. Robinson! Look at her!

Of course I had a crush on Elaine as well.

And yes, for that matter, I had a huge crush on Benjamin.

I might need to go watch this movie. I watch it at least once a year.

But, as point-sliding as I might be getting with this post, the thing I've been thinking about since reading all those adult film titles, is this:

We need switch it up a bit. Cougar - out.

Gigi - in.

Yes, I'm picking Gigi. I love that name. It has panache, with no overt, over-sexual, or over-used history of any boy-cub abuse.

I think that will be my grandma-name.

Much Less . . .

. . . blabbering today.

Don't look so happy!

Despite the bad carb related headache earlier in the week, I'm feeling really good! I worked a lot this week so didn't get in any strength training. I will add that in next week. I don't work nearly as much.

I bet when most of you read that I'm working you think, "Big deal! I work!" Yes you do. The only difference is I work retail right now and am literally on my little hoofs the entire time I'm at work. Running here. Running there. And that's good. We even have standup desks to log pricing on incoming items. Again, this is good.

I've noticed that the primal/paleo influence is hitting main stream offices here in Minneapolis. I saw a news report showing a company that had treadmill desks and standing desks. I don't know if I could personally concentrate while walking on a treadmill, but wth. Standing is good. Good for our bones.

I'm happy with my first week progress.

I'm unhappy with a couple of other things, but like a woman customer from The Turnstyle and I were saying to each other yesterday, why be crabby? Be happy. Doesn't mean you aren't feeling the pain of what you are going through, but why be an ass about it? I have an ass, but don't care to be an ass. You all can keep your opinions to yourselves. Ha!

I am grokking on.

ignore horrible insignia - funny nevertheless when you put my face there with no uniform

Where Am I?

I'm posting a bit over on my Grok and Roll blog. Come read along if you're interested in bitching, crying, whining, grousing, kvetching, complaining, and just general thought-chaos. You know, the regular order of events.

Here is some entertainment in case you need a bit of coercion.

Me at age 18. A bitcher and moaner in the making. What a face!

Fluidity

I wish I didn't have insomnia. I had a handle on it for a minute, but it has slowly geared back up. Blah. Getting up at 2 a.m. is not fun! I did fall asleep in The Big Room (family room), but George (cute doggie) decided as long as I was up that he needed to pee. Damn you George!

I just don't know what else to try.

I am diligently drinking green tea every day. And liking it with lemon. Especially now that it's fall it is nice to have something warm to drink on a cold afternoon. 

The only good thing about being awake at 2 a.m. is I stumbled on an infomertial about the Fluidity Bar. I had forgotten about mine! I bought it a few years back and it is in the basement along with all of my other fitness equipment. I am planning on dragging it back out. They talked endlessly about developing a ballet butt. I want a ballet butt.

Enough.

It's a good time to review!

1. I found an additive for bottled water that might just help Pup and his quest to forgo pop. He is a pop nut and I've seen him glug down a liter in a few gulps. I brought home these little packets specifically made for bottled water. They even had his favorite flavor - fruit punch. Now that I know he likes them I'll get a few boxes to stash here and there. A big roadblock is lunch. He does fast food (I know!) every day and always gets a large pop with his meal. He is going to try bringing a bottle of water with the additive. Yay!
2. I don't get headaches often, but today is one of those days. Really bad. I'm dead tired at 7 o'clock. So I'm watching TiVo and giggling at bad behavior on some of my shows.
3. Supplements! I loaded up a ziploc baggie and promptly forgot about them. I am really bad bad bad about taking them. Hmm . . . I need to brainstorm a better way.
4. I nibbled all day. Peanut butter for breakfast, tomatoes and avocado for lunch along with a slice or two of cheddar cheese and liver pate, broth and some peanuts for dinner, a couple of wonderful haralson apples for snacks. Wow - looking at it written out makes me realize I am really weird.
5. I got my shoes moved in the loft.
6. Mood is in the dumper. Pup and I recently got some biz-related news that isn't good. Selfishly I see it how it affects me. As a good wife I also see how it affects Pup and I feel impotent. Makes my head ache more.

 I'm not sure why I'm sharing, or rather over-sharing, all of this. It's the head. I bet this is some kind of carb-flu. If it is, it won't take long to get over it.

Gah and grr. I hate being down for the count. Tomorrow will be better; it always is!

This graphic has NOTHING to do with this written post. Except that I don't feel good and looking at good butts in Levi jeans always makes me feel better. I can actually remember the first time I realized that I enjoyed looking at boy's asses. I was in the 8th grade, between classes, walking up the stairs behind the boy I had a huge crush on. I described the feeling to my girlfriend as liking the way his shirt tucked into his pants. I was kinda clueless at 13.

No Sugar Tonight

Do y'all remember that song? I just went way back into my vault of good memories. I think I was a wee-girl when I jumped around singing that song. Holy Hannah it was good. I always got baby-girl-boners looking at Burton Cummings. Sigh and ummm . . .

Enough.

Day #1 No Sugar or Grains

1. made it through the morning. Thank you for Stevia. It does not taste like ass as I've been told. Really. I'm not lying. Although sometimes I really crave Splenda even though it will make me grow a third breast if you believe all the hype about its evilness. EVIL SPLENDA. Even more evil than sugar.
2. I love MY scrambled eggs and spinach. I never order them when I go out though. They're always kinda rubbery. But mine are awesome. Is it okay to pat my own back? I could eat them every day. My secret ingredient? Heavy cream. Although I always say the world is a better place with heavy cream, sour cream, and cream cheese. Yes - I love fat. No - it doesn't make you fat.
3.  I am giving up grains as well as mentioned above - this may be harder than the sugar. I do love me some popcorn. Already I'm contemplating Mark Sisson's 80/20 approach. I'm sure I overestimate what 20 percent really means.   :P
4. Carbs are being limited. I don't have a number I'm aiming for, but under 50 per day is the goal. I am tracking my progress with my FitnessPal.com account. I am 'friends' with both of my daughters so we can nudge each other when we see that one of us hasn't been logging in. Although they don't really need any of what I need. If you get my ass drift.
5. I worked five hours today. I work retail and the upside of working retail is it's a physical job. 
6. No gym today. What a wussy. I am working on a doable goal for the gym. I have a tendency to be all or nothing. So let's make it reasonable. I'm thinking three times per week. And I'd like to squeeze in some yoga here at home. I'm as flexible as a coffee table. Heh!
7. I had soup and salad at home tonight. Then I had a snack attack and had a container of sugar-free pudding, Dulce Leche. Now my tummy is talking and talking. No discomfort, but super conversational. TMI much? I knew I shouldn't buy any processed junk.
8. I am finishing up the evening with lemon zinger tea and will head up to my bedroom to move stuff around. You know - shoes and stuff. I hadn't moved my shoes yet and wound up wearing sandal wedgies out on Saturday night. Everyone and their sister had on boots. I am a holdout. I am still wearing my Haviannas and plan to for as long as I can. Winter is long and dreary. I want to take a piece of summer with me.

Yay to the day one. Day one is both depressing and exciting.

Random shot of Brigitte Bardot

Polyester Makes Me Itchy

The secret to a rich life is to have more beginnings than endings.
~Dave Weinbaum

The starting point of all achievement is desire. Keep this constantly in mind. Weak desires bring weak results, just as a small amount of fire makes a small amount of heat.
~Napoleon Hill

It's never too late. Never too late to start over, never too late to be happy.
~Jane Fonda

So what do we do? Anything. Something. So long as we just don't sit there. If we screw it up, start over. Try something else. If we wait until we've satisfied all the uncertainties, it may be too late.
~Lee Iacocca

Pup and I are going on vacation in January with another couple.

For fun one night while together, the four of us decided that we should get in shape for the trip. From mine and Pup's perspective we KNOW we should get in shape for this trip. We don't want to be the fatties. We want to be the hotties. Well, maybe Pup doesn't really care about being a hotty. I would love to be a hotty.

So we decided to have a little competition. The four of us are going to see who loses the most weight and gets in the best shape. I'm not real certain how we'll discern and select the winner, but I am certain that we have decided that the loser has to wear a leisure suit on the plane to the Dominican Republic.

It will not be me!

It's fall; do you know where your abs are?

Some Days Are Just Like That

Yep.

It is Saturday! Pup and I are going to see a play tonight with some dear friends where I'm certain I will not be able to speak tomorrow because I will be laughing and talking too much tonight. Oh and, yes, there may be alcohol involved. How do I know this? Have you met me? You can't see it right now, but I'm giving you a sly smile with my eyes - you know, the smeyzs.

I'm tempted to list all the 'things' from this past week, but on reflection they may only be interesting to me. I'll refrain.

Cuz you know I am way more entertaining in my head. Just ask anyone. Wait - don't ask THAT person. They might not agree! I'm not in the mood for disagreement. That's not true. Yes it is!

See?

Some things are just best left alone.

I don't even have one phone-photo to share. I am still not in love with this Samsung Galaxy. I really am a brat. I just feel weird and awkward swyping away. I miss my thumbs. Although Lorenzo told me about an upgrade I can get on my iPad to make the keyboard behave like a huge texting surface. Love you Apple - you evil geniuses. They know what a girl wants.

So why am I yapping? I like to yap. You may have noticed.

The best thing about my yapping? Besides when I stop? . . .

I'm not going to tell you! You tell me! And be nice. Or not. I really don't care.

Smooches all of my weekend hooches. What's on your do-it list today?

Okay, I'll put this photo up of Carrie Bradshaw's closet. My dream closet. If I were closeted I'd never come out of here.

Is It a Little Hot in Here?

We mostly feel fearful because we feel powerless. We feel powerless, I contend, because of a style of thinking that splits information in two poles that makes us lose all the operative information we need to solve the problem.
~Patricia Sun

Nothing gives a fearful man more courage than another's fear.
~Umberto Eco

A timid person is frightened before a danger, a coward during the time, and a courageous person afterward.
 ~Jean Paul Richter

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've been afraid a few times in my life.

The time I was walking 6 year-old Bella to her best friend's house and two largish barking, angry dogs came running down a driveway towards us. I pushed Bella behind me and knew I'd take whatever those dogs had to give me before they'd get at Bella. Apparently my conviction changed their minds and they went back up the driveway without bothering us. Whooo ha!

Or the time I had to hang my head out of our truck while my wasband and I drove north in a snowstorm to find our Lorenzo who had flipped her car into a ditch. I couldn't breath. I just wanted her young-yet-grown body in my arms so I could feel all of her limbs and know she was okay.

Fear is weird because when you're in it you have really no control over how you'll react.

Saturday morning Pup and I (or the Griswolds as his family now refer to us) packed up The Guest House and drove it south to Iowa for a party at his sister's house.

We were looking forward to this weekend and I had convinced Pup that it would be fun to take The Guest House so we could free up the spare room for his other sister and brother-in-law to use.

We're humming along. I'm reading a pile of magazines that had been growing for a time. Nothing like four hours on the road to get you caught up on all of your magazines.

I had just reached behind my seat to pick up my iPad.

"Sheesh - this thing is really hot!" I say.

Pup nods.

A second later we're both sniffing the air. There's a burning smell coming from outside we think.

"I sure hope that's not us," Pup laughs.

He turns to look in the back. Smoke is billowing out from behind my seat.

His look of alarm makes me turn around to look. Smoke spewing out. What the hell?

I hop in the back to see. What do I think I'm going to do? I really don't know, but Pup is driving and we need to know, yes? I'm brilliant in my reasoning.

I am just getting on my hands and knees when

BAM

flames start shooting out of the spot where seconds before there had been smoke.

The crazy-ass thing about crippling fear is that it was only one half of me. The other half of me was dead-calm. I could have rational thought. I'm thinking

FIRE

SMOTHER

EXTINGUISH

I grab our heavy chenille blanket and place it over the flame, pushing it down. Meanwhile Pup is pulling off the highway. Mind you, seconds before we were hurtling along at 70 miles per or thereabouts.

I start to crawl towards the back of The Guest House where I know we have a fire extinguisher. Of course I cannot figure out how to get that thing out of its holder.

Now, I am making it sound like I'm the calm in the storm. I am not. Even though I'm reacting rationally I can feel a fear bubble in my chest. An adrenaline I've never felt before.

My mind is calm, but my lips are saying over and over and over, "Are we going to blow up? Are we going to blow up? Are we going to blow up?"

Who knows how many times I say it? A dozen? 20 times? Luckily no one is listening.

Pup has gotten onto the side of the road and brakes. I fly against the back door, bumping my head and sliding on my knees.

He then grabs a jug of water we have in the galley and pours it over the smoking hole.

Meanwhile I get the back door open and hesitate to jump out - it's a longish way to the pavement.

Pup says emphatically, "Get out." I do. He does.

We are standing away from The Guest House. Listening to everything creaking and cooling.

My chest is still pounding. I am bent over trying to get my breath.

Pup is doing the same.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of the story is good. We are alive. And nothing blew up.  :)

Pup quickly figures out it is the catalytic converter that blew its top and started the nearly 25 year-old wood under The Guest House on fire.

It doesn't look like much, but when flames were shooting out it was something!

It looks innocent doesn't it?

We made it there and we made it back.

We'll get The Guest House fixed and we'll be back on the road in no time I'm certain.

On the way back to Minnesota that thing blew a couple of times more, but Pup now knew exactly what it was and could remedy the situation. My reactions were not so remedial. Let's just say that crying and irrational fear took over both times.

Yay! We're alive! Nay! Hole in floor of The Guest House!

Smooches to all of you.